Ann Is Livin' Large No More - A Weight Loss Story

Weekly Posts

2011-02-07T12:09:00.000-05:00

It looks like I'll be resigned to weekly posts for the time being.

The right leg continues to heal, though progress is very slow. You know, the doctor original said "months" to heal, but since there was no break, I thought he was exaggerating a bit. Apparently not.

And the sore left arm may be more seriously hurt than first anticipated.

The doctor is concerned with the severe limitations of movement - well, I mean pain-free movement. There isn't much motion in my left arm. He thinks I may have actually torn a muscle. Can you believe it? I've heard of muscles being pulled, but torn? So, I am tapping the keyboard, one key at a time, with my right hand. Everything is off limits for the left - everything. I have to be scheduled for Dopplar (?) imaging of the arm. And then they "take it from there." Fantastic.

Honestly, I am OVER being incapacitated already. I'm down to one leg and one arm, for Pete's sake. All over a silly little patch of black ice.

Anyway, I did well last week, but admit over-doing the calories at the Superbowl viewing, which put me over for the day by almost 200 calories. Still, I didn't go crazy or anything like that, but I deviated from the plan for the first time. It is back on track today though. And I am a happy camper, because my beloved Green Bay Packers won the Superbowl! Yay, Green Bay!!

I didn't enjoy the first half very much, though we were way ahead. Let's face it, football games are always more fun when they are close in scoring. The Steelers finally decided to enter the game in the third quarter, and then things got interesting! I was happy with the final result, and my Steeler fan friends kept their dignity.

Next week is hubby's second surgery. I'm going to try to put off my arm stuff until after his post-surgery follow-ups. I don't want one to interfere with the other.

Well, time to catch up on emails and blogland posting! Comments will be limited, obviously, because of my one-finger one-hand typing method. You would not believe how long it took, just to write this!! And, I can only use one crutch - can't do anything with the left arm, remember, so mobility is still an issue. I can, thankfully, one-crutch it over to the computer now. I couldn't do that two days ago! Progress!!

STAY on plan, Everyone! This is only early February, but spring will be upon us in no time. Don't go chocolate crazy over Valentine's Day or anything. Hey, I didn't even have a slice of cheddar during a Packer Superbowl game! If I can do this ... yada, yada, yada ...

Stay healthy!

Weight Loss Continues

2011-01-30T08:11:00.000-05:00

I cannot WAIT until I can get on the scale again, to discover what exactly has been going on, but success is still measured in other ways:

Updated measurements (see side bar):

I've lost a half-inch off my waist! Yay!! I'm inching closer to getting that number out of the 30s.

Okay, the stubborn hips refuse to budge - my nemesis, clearly. Umpf.

The chest lost a full inch. (What's up with that?) I'll take it - the twins are more easily secured these days!

And here is the biggie, aside from the waist measurement ...

I've had to move my ring from the left-hand's ring-finger to the longest (largest) finger next to it, just to prevent from losing it! AND, my ring fits on that bigger finger comfortably!! I mean, holy smokes, it isn't even a bit too tight there, but just right. The ring keeps falling off the ring finger. Time for resizing soon, in the meanwhile, I will have to get a ring guard to properly secure my ring to the ring finger - once I can get out and about again.

I am so used to - over the years - having to make allowances for GROWING fingers, not shrinking fingers, that this is truly a novelty. This ring has never had to be down-sized before. I'm not sad about that at all.

So, the weight is a mystery for right now, but all indications are that my weight loss continues.

Oh, and I took a very careful right-thigh measurement, and discovered I have lost 4" - yes, FOUR inches - off one thigh. Folks, that is 8" just off the thighs. Is it no wonder the original black pants (in my photo) are so big? And that photo was taken at least 10 or 15 pounds ago, quite possibly (likely) more. Those pants fit me well, 13" ago ... thirteen-inches ago. That is against my 307 lb starting measurements. The black pants fit me snuggly at 327 lbs - I mean, I was in need of really having to up-size those pants.

I didn't lose 13+ inches overnight. Small steps, small steps ... a half-inch here, a quarter-inch there ... but it comes off and adds up. Heavens, I've lost OVER A FOOT off my waist!

My comfortable shirts (and obese people like myself most often prefer baggy) started at 4x. Again, that was pushing it. The bagginess was gone. The 4x fit, but not loosely. Now? 2x is baggy ... and I wouldn't need that, except the twins need the space still. The tummy, does not!

I've accomplished all that since late July. It will be so much fun to see where I am this summer. Warmer weather won't be long off now, so no putting off tomorrow what we can do today, right? I refuse to have another miserable summer like the one I had last year. Morbidly obese and hot, humid weather just don't mix. I won't be at my ideal weight, but I'm going to be so much more comfortable than I was last summer.

Will you?

I hope so!!

Choose Your Destination

2011-01-29T10:39:00.000-05:00

Right. Let's get to it then ...

Small steps lead to big results. It is true in life, and it is true in the journey to lose weight.

While it will obviously be a while before I can stand on my own again, I am making progress. I hobbled to the bathroom on my own this morning, for the first time in over a week. It was a slow and pain-filled trek, but I did it. Weight loss is like that too - sometimes slow, often pain-filled, but ultimately there is progress if we stick with it, right?

I am still in awe at how much pain a person can have, without actually breaking a bone. And I also see the wisdom in what the ER doc said, in that a break would've been better and faster to recover from, but that is another story.

I can't stand on a scale, but I can take masurements. So, tomorrow, I am going to try that, as a way of tracking how I am doing.

Someone suggested in the comments of my last post, to work the upper part of my body, or work what I can. What a great idea! So, I've been trying that this week, very carefully of course. My husband burned through a week of vacation, just to stay home and take care of me. Getting to the bathroom unaided today was a big step to independence. He can set me up in the morning with food/water on my handy TV tray (can't stand, so can't make use of the kitchen, which is a loooooong way from the recliner), and go to the office on Monday. Small steps, more progress.

Despite how painful it is, I periodically get off the chair. I don't want to develop blood clots in the leg, from inactivity, so I stand (lean, more like it) on the crutches for a few minutes every few hours. Even THAT is like a weight loss journey, if I stop to think about it. If we don't move, we can do great harm to ourselves. What is the old saying?   Move it or lose it?   I have to put movement into my life, so I don't lose my life. As I struggle with these injuries, I think how easy it would be to just sit here - eat, watch a little TV, nap, eat more ... And then I think to myself, "No excuses!" I don't want to let myself down. I've given myself a free pass for decades. And, if it wasn't this injury excuse, it would be another, so I'm not even opening that floodgate. I know where it leads - and it is not where I want to go.

I choose another destination for myself.

That is really how I've come to think about these struggles. Life tosses all sorts of things at us. Do we let ourselves float on the ebb and flow of every little whim that makes up life? Or do we choose our own destination, and pick up the oars to at least try to get there?   I could easily take a vacation from the weight loss journey, trust me. I am in pain. I can't move. I have every excuse in the world, and TONS of sympathy, so who would blame me? But, if I were to do that, where will I be a month from now? Better off? Or worse off? Yes, we know the answer to that one already. So ...

I choose my destination.

I am moving toward improved health, and less weight. I'm eating on plan, I'm doing a little bit of exercise from my chair (something is better than nothing), and I've got my eyes on the goal. Sure, I may be using oars on the ocean right now, but it is better than floating unaided. Sometimes, in our journey, we will find ourselves in a motorboat, sometimes in a row boat, rarely (I hope) adrift with no method of propulsion. If we can't row by ourselves, it is as easy as getting someone to help. Find your inspiration, and use it.

I am tossing out a challenge for just today, that you choose your destination this day. Will you have something good to look back on today, as you lay your head upon the pillow tonight? You can, you know, if you choose to do so.

Do something positive, to move toward the destination you choose for yourself, whatever that may be.

Just for today, choose the destination!

Pass Me A Plate of Milk Chocolate Please - And Supersize That

2011-01-24T17:09:00.000-05:00

Let me just say, a human body should never ever be the deep shade of purple and blue that my right leg is right now. It is U G L Y .. now, I hurt even more, just looking at it.

Yes, I'm having a pity party today. I'm miserable. I'm incapacitated (nothing humbles one faster than not being able to go to the bathroom unaided). My poor husband had to use a vacation day today, because no one could babysit me. And I'm miserable. Oh wait, I said that already.

Misery loves chocolate, as every woman on the face of the earth knows, and I want chocolate - lots and lots of chocolate - milk chocolate, to be exact.

There, I said it. I feel sorry for myself, and chocolate makes all things better. Well, no, it actually doesn't, but interesting that in my hour of pain, I pray first, then go right to chocolate - in thought anyway.

And no, I'm not actually eating chocolate. I just WANT to. My pity party says I deserve at least that, but hey, irrational thoughts can justify anything.

Milk chocolate may taste good, but it solves nothing. In fact, it makes things worse. I don't need to be incapacitated AND putting weight back on, so I am not giving in to the urge - the very, very strong urge.

After losing all this weight, it is interesting that the mind still goes there though, isn't it? But, where I used to just give in, I now shrug it off. That is something, anyway.

More of me hurts, but that is to be expected, I suppose. I feel like I've been run over by a truck, or what I imagine being run over by a truck should feel.

I neglected to relate an interesting event from Friday. The nurse/technician who helped me in radiology, was positioning the inflexible, injured leg to get a proper scan of it (assuming it may be broken). While moving the leg, she stopped and looked at me with a puzzled expression. She asked if I'd lost a lot of weight lately, and added, "I mean, a LOT of weight."  (Yes, I said, why?)  She was trying to adjust the leg, and the skin on the thigh just moved, like it was a loose blanket covering my limb or something. It was really weird. I guess I only really saw my leg when I was standing, and didn't really pay it much attention before the injury.

I don't track my thigh measurements really, but I did have a thigh measurement from my 307 weight (the RIGHT thigh, as it turned out). Figures, it would be from the injured side, right? Anyway, I need to remeasure it, to see what changes have taken place there, once I am capable of doing that again.

Has anyone else noticed loose thigh skin? Great, that my attention has been drawn to mine, just at the time I cannot exercise to help that issue. Well, I can't let that worry me, or detract me from my diet plan. I'm not as well hydrated as I have been, which is actually taking some time for me to adjust to, but I have to be practical with my lack of independence and need for assistance right now.  The other diet challenge I have right now is not what I eat, but when. I am doing a lot of sleeping right now, so I am missing snacks and sometimes even a meal. My hubby knows my sleep has been sporadic (due to injury/pain) so if I happen to be sleeping through lunch, he lets me sleep.  While uninterrupted sleep is a good and necessary thing right now, I hope I can get back to a regular eating schedule before too long.

Thank you, to everyone who commented and/or has expressed well wishes and prayers. I really do appreciate it. I don't want my blog to degenerate into a litany of woes though, so I'm going to try to return the focus to weight loss, where it belongs. It is all about getting healthy, right?   I just think how much worse this would've been at 327 lbs ... so, losing weight has all sorts of unforeseen advantages.

Stick to the journey, reap the benefits, lessen the negative ramifications!

I told my husband that not being able to stand (so not being able to weigh-in) has one advantage. It will be a suspense-filled surprise, to see what it reads, when I eventually am able to get back on the scale.  I'm working hard through it all, to ensure the number will be a pleasant surprise, not an unpleasant one.

Eat so there are no regrets, right?!!

Onward and downward, everyone - if I can do it, like this, almost anyone can.

Good News, Bad News

2011-01-23T08:56:00.000-05:00

Well, this is a good news, bad news post, which is what I wrote Allan a minute ago.

The good news is that I am staying on plan and got in all the exercise for the week, as usual. I also feel like the weight has started to come off again (finally). Clothes are so much looser ....

"Feel" I've lost weight? What's up with that? Ah, there is the bad news part.
I had an accident yesterday and we thought I broke my right leg. This time, the trip to the ER was for me. When hubby got me to the ER, they had to roll a gurney out for me, because I couldn't even bend to sit in a wheelchair. Hubby and a nurse had to help me out of the backseat and onto a stretcher.

As it turns out, I did not break the leg, but the ortho said it would've been better had I done so. As I told Allan, the Ortho said he's seen car crash victims with less damage. Not something I wanted to hear. In bracing for the impact, I also hurt my left arm, likely in the roll after impact, who knows, but I can't raise the arm over my head, and I'm told not to lift anything with it.

So, how did this happen?

It was something as uninteresting as slipping on a patch of ice I didn't even see, on a hill on the shady side of the road, coming back from my walk.

So much for my New Year's resolution to get in regular exercise. That is now shelved, and I'm not happy about that. I can't even walk myself to the bathroom, and I'm on a wonderful painkiller. The pain, however, is always there, at least for now. I am told it will be a few days of extreme discomfort yet. "Extreme discomfort" is another term for pretty intense pain, as I am finding out.

I can stick to the diet, but clearly it will be a long time before I'm able to follow the exercise plan. I have crutches, but can't even comfortably use them yet. I'm also not able to stand on my own power, so no official scale reads for a while.

I'm still sticking to the Phase IV diet plan, but I'm hoping Allan takes pity on me and still sends me the weekly packet, including the exercise routine. Eventually, I'll be over this, and can start the exercise again.

Just as I thought I was done with doctors, hey?

The knee took the biggest hit, and I can't believe I didn't splinter a bone somewhere. They took several x-rays yesterday, but the bones were okay. (The ER doc said the bones were about the only thing to escape damage.) Ouch. Lots of soft tissue trauma.

And my clothes were so loose yesterday, I thought I'd get on the scale today and be able to report a good 5-lb loss or something. Phooey.

Well, I still have my tape measure, so until I'm able to stand again, I'll have to rely on that as a measure of my progress, just not today. I can't move anything today. My poor hubby can't even have the flu in peace. I'm backing off the water intake a little bit (just a little bit), to conserve trips to the bathroom, since I can't get there unaided, and hubby is sick in bed. You'd be amazed at how quickly the body adjusts to the increased hydration, because now that I've backed off of it a little bit today, I cannot get over how THIRSTY I feel. Good thing the pain meds make me not care too much. LOL

I am hoping this is the last weird thing we have to deal with for a while. I'm tired of all the bad stuff lately. A Green Bay Packer win this afternoon would go a long way toward making me feel better though ...

Go Packers!

Thursday Challenges

2011-01-20T21:10:00.001-05:00

My week got away from me. It has been crazy busy.

Dad had his port removed today! He will be free to take showers again, starting tomorrow. Those little things we take for granted are very much appreciated by Dad these days.

Now, of course, we just sit and wait, to see if the body responds to this last effort. And pray. The doctors have done all they can do, and all that medical science allows. On one hand, Dad is relieved to be done with everything. On the other hand, there is nothing left to try, and it gets scary now. This is where faith comes in to provide comfort - either way.

Hubby is coming down with a bug of some sort. We need for that to leave before his rescheduled surgery date gets here. Hurry up and heal already! LOL I have to keep Hubs and Dad apart, as Dad cannot afford to pick up a bug right now. Dad is thin, but he's a tall man, and I had a hard time helping him navigate by myself. We managed it though.

Dad was a little worried. He said if I go down, everyone is in trouble!

You know, I thought about that on the way home. He's right. I'm the key person right now. Everyone is relying on me - absolutely everyone. I have no right to be at an unhealthy weight, when others need me and are counting on me. I'd feel guilty, except I've been working hard these last six months to change course. I'm getting a little tired of working so hard and not seeing much movement on the scale though. I try not to let that discourage me, and stick to the plan. Still, I hope this week I'll see things start to move again. I'm getting tired, and need the morale boost I guess.

No pity parties, I know! Hey, if Dad isn't feeling sorry for himself, what right does anyone else have to do otherwise? We live to fight another day, after all.

Well, I'll do some blog reading this evening and tomorrow, and catch up on some housework. Now that Dad is on an even keel, after the bad week he's had, I am hoping I can get back to a normal routine myself. I haven't had two minutes to read anyone's blog this week, and I miss you guys!

Day 180 Dribs and Drabs

2011-01-17T16:19:00.000-05:00

Thank you to Michele who awarded me the Stylish Blogger Award (see the Award & Reward tab). No one has ever accused me of being stylish before, so this was a real treat! The rules for this are:

1. Post and link back to the person who awarded this to me (that would be Michele, as mentioned/linked above).

2. Share 7 things about myself.

3. Pass on the love, by awarding 15 other worthy bloggers this honor (or as many as I can). And,

4. Contact the award recipients to let them know of the award!

So, here are seven things about myself -

1. I am the only one in my family to hold a college degree. I worked my way through college on my own, and graduated with zero debt. However, I can never mention anything about that experience or education, because several family members are sensitive about the subject of advanced education - therefore, I've never said a word to the family that referenced anything to do with college, since graduating decades ago.

2. I make it a point to reread Dr. King's letter from the Birmingham jail (1963) every MLK Day. It is intelligent, insightful, thought-provoking, and could apply to many situations, not limited to Civil Rights alone. It applies to everyone, no matter their creed or color. He wrote, just in part, "... We know through painful experience that freedom is never voluntarily given by the oppressor, it must be demanded by the oppressed. ... there are two types of laws: just and unjust. I would be the first to advocate obeying just laws. One has not only a legal but a moral responsibility to obey just laws. Conversely, one has a moral responsibility to disobey unjust laws. ... A just law is a man-made code that squares with the moral law or the law of God. An unjust law is a code that is out of harmony with the moral law. ... Any law that uplifts human personality is just. Any law that degrades human personality is unjust. ..." Amen, Dr. King!

3. I want the Packers to win over the Bears, and think a Packers-Steelers Superbowl showdown would be the most entertaining and well-matched game, of the remaining playoff teams. That said, I was absolutely impressed with the Jets yesterday, and am in awe of their defense coverage. Where did that come from?!! (Can you tell I'm a football fan?)

4. Shellfish is highly toxic to my body, and shrimp in particular. I carry an EpiPen in case of emergency.

5. I am in need of a haircut, and plan to get my long locks chopped to shoulder-length before next weekend.

6. My favorite piece of furniture at home is a small reproduction bookcase by Althorp.

7. I would like to visit Philadelphia and New York City one day. I've not been to either place.

The remaining rules (3 & 4) require more thought. I rarely get around to those tasks, to be honest. It isn't that there aren't a multitude of deserving blogs. I just find it daunting to hunt down bloggers who haven't yet received the award in question, and then when I do, I worry that I'm putting some sort of obligation on them that they may not want. So, I'll do what I usually do. I'll "get around to it" - or not. Things are a bit busy these days, but I will try. When you get to big numbers - like 15 - it gets very difficult to pass it on to someone who hasn't had it yet. And maybe that is the point? Well, if you are stylish, and haven't had the award yet, drop me a note!!

Thanks again, Michele. xxox

More on other topics later (maybe). Time is slipping away from me today, and I need to tend to Dad, once he is up from his nap.

Belated Day 177: 24-Update Friday (# 8)

2011-01-17T11:52:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the delay in posting my 24-Update. Sometimes, when helping a very ill family member, the disease demands more time of us than other times. This was one of those extended weekends. Dad is doing well now, and is getting his last cancer treatment today. Then, we just wait and see what the body does with it all. Thank you, for all those who've been keeping Dad in thoughts and prayers. I know it gives him comfort to know others have also raised prayers of support.

Now for the 24-Update, my biweekly attempt to try on my ancient size 24 cream-colored jeans, in the hope they'll one day fit me again.

First of all, I was AMAZED that I had as much room as I did, in the thighs of the jeans. I don't often think about the thighs losing inches, but they clearly have. In a week where I saw little movement in weight, I have noticed inches.

The waist of the jeans fit perfectly - not too snug, nor too loose.

Once again, it is the abs (hips) still at issue. However, unlike my last attempt, the abs/hips fit a wee bit better this time. In fact, I could probably have worn them on Friday, but for the unsightly pull across the fabric there. Dare I say it? The NEXT 24-update may actually see me wearing these jeans! I think I will be able to make my wish list of "by Valentine's Day!" Yes, I am very excited. When I search the 24-update entries, and read of the slow transformation, I am tickled to see the progress. I had the pants hemmed, so now when I slip them on, the length is perfect. I just need to get those hip measurements down another 1/2" and I'd be golden.

I'll catch up on other things (measurements & weight) later in th week. Not much time right now, as it is time to go over to Dad's and pick him up. This is a milestone day - his last cancer treatment. It either works, or there is nothing left to try - so it is a day I've both looked forward to, and dreaded. Dad, for his part, is just looking forward to less hospital and doctor visits. I can't blame him for feeling that way. It has been his life for over 9 months now. He is tired.

I'll look forward to catching up on my blog reading later. How is everyone doing on their plans? I hope all is well - I'm still right on plan! The hospital stays make it challenging, but not impossible. Onward and downward!!

Preview

2011-01-13T13:13:00.000-05:00

I took one of my jeans out of the dryer, and slipped them on, and was surprised not to have the post-dryer snuggness I normally have, the first few hours after the jeans come out of the dryer. So, I took tape measure to waist. I didn't step on the scale, because I didn't want to frustrate myself if there was no movement.

Keep in mind, I just measured myself on Sunday, and only lost in the chest.

I measured - twice. My waist is a full half-inch smaller! I've reflected the change on my sidebar.

Natrually, I was then hopeful the hips would show a drop too.

Nope, of course not. They didn't budge. Well, tomorrow is my next 24-update, and the hips are the only thing holding me back. We'll see if things shrink by then. Hope springs eternal. I would really like to wear those old size 24 jeans on Valentine's Day.

I am tickled that my waist is at least in the 30-something range again.

Maybe I need to look up hip exercises, something to target that area.

Thank you, and a shout out, to Kathy (my challenge buddy/cheering section in the Lose 60 in a Year Challenge), I was tickled to find I made her favorite inspiratinoal blogs list! (Me? Seriously?) I really am honored. I find it interesting too, because I'm always seeking out inspiration from others. I think, in that way, we all help each other through the difficult battle of losing weight and getting healthy. As the famous quote goes, no man is an island ...

I read that actor Kevin James was the latest famous person to take up the weight loss war, and with some success. It is reported he has dropped more than 40 lbs so far, and it shows. Great job! We all know how much work it takes, right? Most of us avoid cameras, and it is inspirational when a person who makes his or her living in front of one, drops a bunch of weight. We can see how the changes affect their looks and energy, sometimes when we can't see it in ourselves.

I put on a black pull-over I haven't worn in about a month. I'm used to how it looks on me. Well, today it looked different. I looked different. What was it? The fabric didn't have a little bulge to outline, as it hugged my tummy. Today, it cascades off the girls and goes straight down. It is amazing how slimming that - alone - makes one look. I may not be losing pounds, so far this month, but the inches have started to move again (finally). I'm going to resist stepping on the scale until Sunday morning's weigh-in.

I am going to sing from the rooftops, when I get into the 230s. I can't wait.

I last weighed 230 lbs 21 years ago. I'd like to be there by March, if possible. So, I'm working the diet and moving more. Is there another way?

We are almost to mid-January (already!!). The year is really flying by. It will be spring before we know it. I don't know about anyone else, but I'd really like to go into it with a spring in my step this year. I'm looking forward to it, actually.

Wednesday Evening

2011-01-12T21:54:00.002-05:00

Happy Exhuasted Wednesday Evening, Blogland.

Thank you, Everyone, for your well wishes for the boys. My husband's surgery did not go. (It did not go well, Ann?!! No, I mean, it did not happen.)

Everyone showed up, except the surgeon, who ultimately decided he didn't want to drive in the snowstorm. The anesthesiologist. made it. The nurses made it. The orderlies made it. The billing department made it. Heck, even all the morning patients made it. The one guy who decided "I don't think so?" Yes, the surgeon.

We call that "Surgeon World" ... must be nice.

I'm glad the doc didn't risk his life, but it sure would've been NICE if he picked up a phone and had someone call everyone, to save the rest of us from the danger. We only knew the storm was coming THREE DAYS in advance.

So, it wasn't bad enough we braved the middle of the storm to get there (leaving HOURS early, to ensure we walked in the door on time). We had to then get in the car and drive home again, in deteriorating conditions, and not even have anything to show for the effort. It was scary. And the normally 25-minute drive took us 3 hours. Roads were literally shut down. Accidents - everywhere - but we finally made it back.

It was a very long few days. Dad's stuff was successful. Monday's thing was moved to Tuesday, of course, and his Tuesday thing was moved to today.  Dad is in pain, but doing well otherwise. His cancer treatment will resume next week. They have the port in again, and so far so good. My husband's surgery has been rescheduled to the next available timeslot - a month from now.

After all the medical stuff, I spent the day today breaking up ice chunks and attempting to clear part of the driveway. I've used muscles I didn't even know I had - but I do now! It was great exercise.  Exhausting, but a real workout. After the snow, came the ice storm. So, we have a layer of wet, heavy snow, covered with 1/4" of ice. Pretty to look at, hazardous to walk or drive on. Our road isn't really passable yet, but we're hoping tomorrow will be a different story. The melting started late this afternoon, and should return tomorrow - the sun is a wonderful thing. Right, so onto the weight loss stuff, because this is about getting healthy, after all.

I remained on plan, to the best of my ability, throughout the long drives and hospital stays, the "nurse Ann" duties at Dad's, and all that stuff. I did NOT get in a walk in the last three days. That isn't good, but the situation and conditions just didn't allow for that. I'll do some walking tomorrow, and Friday as well. I'm playing catch-up at this point. Still, I think the heavy-duty snow/ice shoveling of the driveway should count for either cardio or weight training. Anyway, I will try to get caught up in the walking.

I just now ordered myself a Kate Spade wallet, not 60 seconds ago. It isn't the Anabel Tote I had my eyes on (for the last goal I met - leaving morbid obesity behind), but it is what I can afford right now. The milestone was reached a month ago, and I didn't want to let it go by without something special. I worked hard to get there, and leaving morbid obesity behind is a huge deal.

Speaking of morbid obesity, my doctor's appointment was rescheduled to the end of the month. His nurse called today to rebook. She asked me if I managed to maintain my weight loss (I was in the 270s at my last appointment). I told her, no, I did not maintain my weight loss. She started to get all understanding on me, Christmas and all that, blah, blah, blah ... when I stopped her and clarified that maintaining isn't accurate. I was STILL LOSING. Really?! Yes, really ... except for this past week or so, but that is another story. How much more have you lost? Well, that is for you to tell me, when you next weigh me.

Oh, this will be SO FUN. I'm down about 30 lbs from the last visit - yes, even though we've had Halloween, Thanksgiving AND Christmas since then. hehehe This is gonna be FUN! I only hope I get off this plateau soon.  And, of course, I'm hoping for improved numbers, which equates to improved health - the reason I'm doing all of this.

The end-of-the-month doctor appointment should tell all.  Well, the labs always seem to take forever to come back, so more accurately, the lab results, back around mid-February, should tell all.

I used to dread doctor appointments.  Not so much lately. Go figure!

One last notation.  We found out today that one of our dear friends may have to have his arm amputated. Scary stuff, and life-changing! We are keeping him in our prayers, hoping for the best. He is desperate to want to save his arm ... now.

It is like my weight loss journey. I've known what I needed to do, but there was always tomorrow. Well, he ignored his health too - there was always tomorrow. Only this week, his tomorrows ran out. He said if he could just turn the clock back ... but of course he cannot.

If you are ignoring a skin lesion or lump - anywhere - see your doctor. Do not put it off. Our friend ignored something for years - just didn't want to be bothered with it - and what was a minor nuisance may end up costing him his arm now. It is a high price to pay for ignoring something.

Ignoring my health (and weight) can have an even higher cost, if my tomorrows run out. Anyway, pay attention, take action and catch stuff early folks.

Gosh, only Wednesday, and I feel like I've already had an overflowing week! No stress here or anything.

Here is to a normal Thursday! I'm going to catch up on my blog reading now ...

Day 172 Weigh-in

2011-01-09T10:35:00.001-05:00

Yesterday's number sticks. Officially.

The scale isn't the only number that defines results, so I happily turned to my measurements.

Oh goody. I lost alright ... in the BUST.

That just puts the dot under the exclamation mark, on a not-very-fun weigh-in day.

The hips, of course, stubbornly remain exactly the same. Grrrrrrrrrr.

Right, so I am sticking with the plan, and trusting better results are on the way. Meanwhile, I needed to jot a quick note here to say I may not be able to post again until Wednesday. We have severe weather due in tomorrow - my husband's surgery day. Plus, there is a follow-up with the surgeon on Tuesday AND Dad has to go into the hospital for his next procedure. If the winter snow/ice hits as predicted, we'll (all) need to grab hotel rooms nearer the hospital tomorrow. Regardless, it is going to be a busy two days.

Thank you to all who have given me encouraging words, both in commentary and by email. I truly appreciate it, but there really is no fear that I will quit. That isn't even an option. We all have our frustrating dieting weeks, and this just happens to be one of mine. It is the pits that it is at the beginning of a new year, and a new challenge, but sometimes that is just how it rolls.

No time to update numbers today (except for bust measurement). Maybe, by the time I get back online to post, it'll have corrected itself. (One can only hope.)

Onward and DOWNward ...

Frustration

2011-01-08T15:00:00.000-05:00

Okay, now I'm downright annoyed. We're coming up on the end of the first week of the new year. I've been faithfully following Phase IV of the challenge I'm on, and today my ring is snug. S N U G.

So I hop on the scale ...

Last week = 242

Today?

How about 243? What the heck?! Water intake, right on the money. Exercise, just as outlined. Diet, easy peasy. But weight doesn't just go up magically for the heck of it.

I even checked the calibration on the scale. It is accurate.

No, it isn't "female" ... which leaves me no choice but to revisit the diet. When 2 + 2 = 5, something isn't adding up right.

I've read the body sometimes works to hold onto things, if the diet changes in some significant way, at least initially. This may account for the uptick, but I just don't see this diet as all that different from what I've been eating. The calorie count is what I've been on for a month. The content of the diet changed a little, but not what I'd consider significantly. Perhaps, though, the body perceives it differently. I don't know, and I can't assume, so I am revisiting exactly what I've eaten this past week. I'm reading through the food diary with an eye toward a misstep somewhere. So far, I'm not seeing one, but I'm making careful comparisons with the packet material for this past week. Yes, it is analytical, but I want to make sure there isn't something more (or less) I should be doing.

It is frustrating to be so very careful, and yet see a lack of progress. Bodies need to adjust, and I get that, and hope this is all it is. I'm NOT making 243 my official number this week. The weigh-in is officially on Sunday morning, and we'll see what it reads then.

Frustration aside, I'm not detered from staying the course and remaining on plan.

Day 170: Freedom

2011-01-07T01:29:00.000-05:00

We are officially a full week into 2011 today! Blink, and February will be here.

I am 16 lbs. from the midway point in my journey, as of my last weigh-in.

Wow, I had to sit back and absorb that for a minute.

When I started my blog (July 20th), I was looking at the need to lose 162 lbs. I had to lose more than I would ideally weigh some day. It is not a small number.

And yet, almost without realizing it, I've peeled back the years. The last time I was 240-something was circa 1993. That was 18 YEARS ago. And these last six months have just flown by. I feel as if I barely just started a short while ago.

Perspective is a funny thing, isn't it?

I'm enjoying the 240s much more on the way down, than I ever did on the way up. I'd almost forgotten what I was able to do back then. One of the sad side affects of morbid obesity is the slow giving-up of lots of little things - the ability to bend down to tie my shoes, to easily sit in any booth, or being able to just comfortably maneuver in a regular bathroom stall. I slowly adjusted to not having these abilities, and am now enjoying the freedom I've regained.

I'm appreciating it more the second time around. I take nothing for granted. I am becoming ... free.

I shouldn't squander my new-found freedom either. Clyde is relishing his, looking forward to his first marathon on the 23rd. How is that measured exactly? In joy, of course! The freedom to run ...

Awesome.

When we are confined, by our own weight, we forget what movement feels like. We do less and less of it, as the scale moves up. And, once we give it up, regaining it isn't easy. It is work. I've started walking (barely, but it is a start). I'd almost forgotten how good it can feel, with the sunshine on my face and the fresh air filling my lungs. I don't look down when I walk, though I probably should. Instead, I look skyward, out in the distance.

I am starting to recognize once-familiar treasures, unappreciated at the time, long lost to me, but beginning to return: having a little extra energy to expend, taking a few stairs - two at a time - walking from my car across the parking lot at the grocery store, with a little spring in my step - energy. I'd almost forgotten.

It isn't that I was feeling particularly lacking in energy, but now that I've regained some, I realize I forgot just how much energy I used to have.

Make sense?

I won't be so willing to give it up again. I take nothing for granted, not anymore.

Revising Rewards

2011-01-06T13:26:00.001-05:00

Rewards are the carrots I dangle before myself, to add an extra incentive and bolster my motivation. (See my "Awards & Rewards" tab.) I know health alone should be enough, but let's just say the reward speaks loudly enough to drown out the Call Of The Brownie.

Well, my reward for reaching this current mini-goal (# 3) was going to be a Bel Chateau teaspoon. I've revised it. I'm saving the "big" prizes for reaching true milestones. So, mini-goal # 4 (the next goal after this one) will see me into the plain old "obese" category.

New category = bigger prize.

And leaving my current "severe obese" category is worth an entire 4-piece place setting, if you ask me.

Yes, I dangle really good carrots. It keeps me moving toward goal.

I've decided to change this current mini-goal reward from the teaspoon to four china salad plates by Lenox, I think. I don't own anything in this pattern currently, but these are very pretty - simple and elegant. Plus, they are a great size for portion control. (See Award tab)

I don't feel the need for a particularly big reward for this mini-goal I'm working right now, because I think the fresh new year adds enough "umpf" to keep me going. Still, the plates are attractive enough to keep me moving and motivated! I think they would be lovely around a spring table.

Positive reinforcement works most effectively for me.

Someone was asking when she'll see an updated photo of me. I intend to post one near the conclusion of each mini-goal, so I'm probably a month or month-and-a-half away from posting the next progress photo. I don't want to frustrate myself, and post pictures more often. I want to easily see the difference, and at my weight, it takes a while for those types of changes to show in any significant way. lol

Losing Weight is the Vehicle to Health

2011-01-06T08:27:00.000-05:00

If ever there was an indication of how quickly a year can fly by, one need only look at this first week. I cannot believe we are almost done with the first week of 2011 already!

Yesterday, I happened to catch part of a show (already in progress, so didn't catch the name). It was about gastric bypass surgery, based in Houston, I think. The show was following two or three patients. I didn't catch anything but a few minutes, but what an interesting few minutes. The surgeon was having a post-op consultation with one of the patients. (Everything was going great.) But, while she was thrilled to be losing weight already, he cautioned her that he wants to see about 10 lbs. per month coming off.

That is nothing to sneeze at, because it equals 120 lbs. in a year. But, I was surprised that was the figure, and it wasn't higher. (The patient DID lose more than that average, but the doc was telling her that 10 lbs per month is what he wanted to see, to minimize muscle tissue loss.)

That got me to thinking.

I looked at my own average. Sure enough, I'm losing on average (so far) about 10.5 lbs a month, albeit without surgery.

I am not opposed to surgery. There is a method of weight loss out there to suit every person and every circumstance.  The portion of the show I saw was a real eye-opener on the process. I don't think anyone could go into that surgery without giving it serious thought and consideration, or have a tremendous need for the surgical intervention.  The surgery is life-altering, and still requires an enormous dedication to diet (afterwards). That is not an easy thing to go through! And I thought dieting (alone) was tough ...

But there is a lesson there too. Sometimes, those are the measures that must be taken to save a life. I think people sometimes assume such surgery is a lazy person's quick fix or something. But, it is hardly that.

Instead, people need to recognize how dangerous (truly) obesity is, and outright life-threatening the longer such weight is carried. And, for those of us who don't feel surgery is right for us, we STILL need to recognize we are in very real danger too, if we are obese (and especially if we've been obese for a while).

My problem, until this diet attempt, is that I looked at this problem as something I "should" do something about, eventually. That was just pure Russian Roulette thinking.

It isn't "I should" but "I MUST" do something about this... and with some sense of urgency.

I can't ignore the issue anylonger. Youth is no longer on my side, protecting me. Middle age has come to roost, and is much less forgiving. I've tried the "bury my head in the sand" approach (ignore it, and it will magically just not be there). It didn't work. Not noticing doesn't mean it wasn't there after all.  What a revelation.

My January doctor appointment is looming. I keep remembering what his nurse told me, more or less "great that I lost weight, but don't feel bad if I gain some back by the next visit - everyone does."

Everyone does.

What the heck kind of observation is that to make? Well, apparently, the right one for me to hear, because I became that much more determined to not just keep the weight off, but to continue on ...

It is for me, that I do this. I'm just using the doctor appointments as a sort of official benchmark. Plus, I have strong incentive to see my numbers continue to improve. I was blown out of the water, that after just three months, I was able to lose (entirely) my cholesterol medication. My liver must love me.

I've lost another 30 lbs (approx.) since that last appointment, so far. This next one should be equally fun. I can't wait to see my doctor's reaction. He was so shocked last time.   And if "everyone" gains some weight back (especially with a post-Christmas appointment), I can't imagine he won't be equally surprised this next visit. Mostly, though, I want to see my numbers continue to improve (or remain good), and maybe reduce further some medication.

My journey is about gaining health. Losing weight and eating properly is the vehicle that gets me there.

Here is MOTIVATION

2011-01-04T17:48:00.002-05:00

Having trouble, kick-starting your diet and/or exercise in 2011? Having trouble getting back on track, after the indulgences of Christmas and the vacation of goodies?

Here is some built-in motivation. Check out Margene's post: 10-Month Progress

It made me think, where will I be in 10 months?

I started my journey near the end of July. My 10 months ends about a week before Memorial Day. I'm just beyond the halfway point of a 10-month calendar.

--------------------

Thank you to Allan, who has awarded a handful of us this award:

I'm proud of it, because it represents consistent and dedicated work toward improving my health, and all through the food holidays of 2010! It was NOT easy. But, in the end, the results were worth every sacrifice. An added bonus, for me, was that I learned a lot along the way.

I am wondering, now, how insane am I, to have signed up for the Phase IV - but I'm committed now, so we will see, won't we? LOL

--------------------------

Lastly, motivation from my day today:

~ I am wearing my new size-24 black jeans today.

~ I am wearing a shirt I haven't worn in 13 years.

~ My neighbor's five-year-old boy ran down the driveway, as I walked by, and said, "Oh, you are prettier and prettier!" (I must remember to include the child in my will ...)

Here's to motivation, from wherever we find it!!

And yet ...

2011-01-04T14:08:00.001-05:00

This is a no-whine zone, but since I'm journaling for myself, I have to keep it accurate and honest.

Today, I'm thinking, "what the heck?" I'm into a fresh, new year. I handled the holidays pretty well. I am looking forward to all the benefits I'll be giving my health this year, I'm highly motivated, and yet ...

And yet.

I anticipated happily embracing (at least initially) the exercise mindset. I've made adding routine exercise my priority this year. And yet ...

The weather today will be mild. PERFECT for getting in a ten-minute walk. That is all I have to do today - a lousy 10 minutes. And yet ...

Here I sit, still, knowing I should lace up my shoes and get going. I have NO excuse not to do so, and every reason to just get out and do it already. And yet ...

Wow, the couch potato-ness does not give up its throne easily, my friends. So, I'm thinking, "what the heck?" Why am I just not doing it already? Sheesh ... THIS IS THE FIRST WEEK. It is the easiest week. And I'm already fighting myself over exercise.

My motivational word for this week is simplicity. The formula for getting healthy is not all that difficult or even complicated. Eat less. Move more. It is simple, not easy, but simple. I need to keep this in mind.

Here I sit, filling my day off with all sorts of chores around the house, relishing being home after the hectic day of yesterday, and not exercising. And yet ...

I'm going to sign off right now and lace up those shoes! I've made a commitment to myself, and I need to honor that, for my health's sake. I'm just a little surprised that my mindset today isn't where it should be. I need to power through that, and turn my day around! I've been right on-plan for my diet today, and I need to bring my A-Game to the exercise portion of the fitness equation.

Perhaps, knowing myself as well as I do, I need to make exercise a routine MORNING (first-thing) sort of ritual. The couch potato tendency is to push it off, and that is not compatable with my goals this year.

But Ann, if you are losing weight just fine without exercise, why bother?

Losing weight and maintaining weight loss are two different animals. Statitics say, people who incorporate routine exercise into their lives are FAR more successful in making weight loss permanent, and getting off the loss-gain roller coaster. While I am creating new habits, I'm adding in some that will ultimately keep me where I want to be - healthy!

Right. Time to go for a walk. Have you had your exercise today? Hmmmmm?

More later ...

ADDENDUM (aka "later"):

Okay, I powered through my lazy ways, and actually enjoyed my walk. I am amazed at how out-of-shape I really am - then more amazed that I was amazed at how out-of-shape I really am. I mean, after all, I'm over 240 lbs for Pete's sake. Way should a low level of fitness amaze me? LOL

I feel so much better for having taken my walk.

I need to remember that feeling, the next time I have the exercise blues. I've had decades, literally, of granting my every whim, so if I want different results, I need to stop doing that.

My whim, today, was to give myself a day off from "doing" anything. With whims like that, who needs enemies? For those of us on the weight loss journey, we are our own worst enemies, aren't we? The good news is that we can also be our own best friends!

I'm showing myself a little love, by getting that walk in today.

It really isn't about the walk, but about me powering through the "I don't want to do it today" stuff. Amazing, how one little GOOD decision can really make a day, isn't it?

Day 165 - Weigh-in Results: 242 lbs.

2011-01-02T13:06:00.001-05:00

Yay, the scale is moving downward again (- 3 lbs)!! It has been a challenging week, post-Christmas, between more than anticpated meals out, and 3-4 curve balls tossed our way from various directions. Through it all, headway was still possible, and my health remains a priority.

This marks the end of the The Spawn challenge. Tomorrow, about 60 of us are going to venture into the Phase IV Challenge, and get busy - literally. It should be fun, and educational (for me). I'm looking forward to it!

I sure hope to see some HIP inches fall away, and maybe some skin tightening too. I saw an old rerun of "Golden Girls" on TV just last night. Sophia (the elderly mother), ended up being naked under her overcoat. Long story, but she was safely home and relating her experience to her daughter, Dorothy. Rose (Betty White) comes into the room, and asks Sophia why she was wearing an overcoat in the house. Sophia - back to audience - opens her coat to reveal herself to Rose, who then turns to Dorothy and asked if her mother was naked, or was that dress just REALLY in need of ironing! Hysterical to watch!! Not so funny to live through, I'm sure. I don't want to end up like poor Sophia, before my time! LOL

Pouring rain here, but temps remain mild, for today at least.

I have lots of doctor-related things with the guys tomorrow (husband and father), so I don't anticipate being able to read up on too many blogs before Tuesday. I plan to make the rounds in Blogland later this week!

2011: A New Year - New Resolutions

2011-01-01T09:30:00.001-05:00

January 1, 2011. I awoke to thick fog this morning, and very mild temperatures. It is going to be a glorious Saturday! It is the dawn of a new year, with all the promise ahead of us, to make this year what we want it to be.

It is also time for our annual resolutions.

Resolutions are important, but only if we don't turn them into empty promises to ourselves. Like any goal, there are certain steps I take to ensure I maximize my chances of achieving them. The most important?

A lot of people will automatically say that resolutions must be realistic, and that is certainly very important and an essential basic requirement too, but the most important is actually to be sure the resolution is something I truly desire.

I think a lot of people toss out resolutions that "sound good," but there is really no internal motivation to succeed at them. Resolutions aren't just a "wish list" of our perfect vision for ourselves, or something we do because others expect it of us.

For me to make progress and actually succeed at my goals, I give them some serious thought beforehand. Do I really WANT this? Why? How important is this to me? Is there something more important I want to be focusing on?

Ah, yes ... prioritization. That is also important to ensuring I maximize my chances of achieving my goals.

I prioritize my resolutions, when I make more than one, as I often do. I want to keep my focus on those most important goals, so I limit how many I set, working on the most important ones. Note, when I ask myself these questions, I don't think "is there something more important I should be focusing on" - resolutions have to be something I actually desire, not "should" desire.

And lastly, I try to make my resolutions about the process, not the final product. Making them about a process is what actually leads to sustainable changes, which allows me to reach my ultimate goals. So, instead of saying, "I want to improve my health in 2011" or "I want to reach goal weight"- which are goals, certainly, a few of my resolutions will be all about the processes that can make this happen.

My 2011 Resolutions:

1. Establish a weekly exercise habit

2. Routinely monitor daily caloric intake

3. Call my brother every month

Establishing a routine exercise habit is not an easy thing for me. Actually, that is a gross understatement. And it is my first, and most important, goal for this year. It is a process that will lead to improved fitness and general health and well-being. And it will help me improve my measurements too.  Sitting on the couch, wishing I could be more active, doesn't actually get me anywhere. I have to make it a priority, and do something about it, so 2011 is the year I am going to do that.

Monitoring caloric intake, I've learned, actually DOES make a difference. And I need to do this routinely, to keep moving in the direction I want to be heading in my weight loss efforts. Ultimately, I can achieve my goal weight (145 lbs) by doing this. Before Allan's challenge series, I didn't give it much thought. Actually, I thought it sounded like a big pain in the neck. And, at first, it was - though not nearly as daunting as I anticipated. Now? I need to make this part of my routine, not just something I do for a challenge. Challenges come to an end, eventually (I think) hehehe ... and this is a behavior I've learned is actually vital to my own success. So, this learned behavior needs to be moved to the routine habit category, and stay there, always.

Calling my brother every month is just good for my overall health! Talking to him is so much fun, and we enjoy each other's company a great deal. Our routines (and being located in different parts of the country) don't always allow us to connect as often as we'd like. Four times a year, to recharge with those we love, is not often enough. So, in 2011, I'm calling him every month.  It is good to hear his voice, and we laugh a great deal, and you can't put a price on that. Life is just too short.

Note, my resolutions each have a time component to them. Weekly, daily, monthly - these clearly define timeframes, which help me move forward in progress. They are attainable, maintainable, and realistic. And not one of them expects results instantly. Change of behaviors and habits is a gradual process. Creating an improved person takes time. But, I should be able to measure progress as I go, and continually show movement toward my resolution goals. Being realistic and understanding the gradual nature of establishing new habits, in particular, prevents me from feeling discouraged. Just like weight loss, it will have its ups and downs, but staying focused and committed will - ultimately - help me achieve my resolutions in 2011, and all the fringe benefits that come with that.

My resolutions are also not too vague. Saying "I want to make better choices" is already built into these more specific resolutions. It I make them too vague, it is a set up for failure. Resolutions need to be targeted with measureable and attainable results.

I will continue to set other goals throughout the year, but the resolutions reign supreme.

But, Ann, don't you want to reach goal weight in 2011?!

YES, of course I do (and I expect to), but that isn't a long-term goal by itself. Maintaining it, now there's a goal! And what helps me do that? See resolutions 1 & 2.

I use resolutions to establish long-term forever type of improvements, that benefit me as a person in some manner. I'll use interim goals (not resolutions) to reach other targets - like my goal weight. My goal weight, by the way, is 100 lbs away. Setting a resolution for so seemingly big a task is to set myself up to be discouraged. It is one of the reasons I keep the big picture in mind, but I only (ever) focus on my mini-goals.

Being successful takes a little thought and planning, not super-human efforts and unpleasant sacrifices.  Setting goals and resolutions that are too big, or too vague, will only lead me to lackluster results.

How does a person keep up motivation? Simple.  I have to want what I am aiming for, and be realistic in my approach, plan well, prioritize, and make it about the process - not the ultimate destination.

The ultimate destination, as it turns out, takes care of itself, if I take care of the rest.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

Day 163: 24-Update Friday ( # 7 )

2010-12-31T00:34:00.000-05:00

Here is it, the last 24-Update of 2010.

Yes, it is once again time for 24-Update Friday, my biweekly attempt to squeeze into the like-new size-24 jeans, which have taunted me for years from the back of my closet.

I've been tracking, these last three months, my weight loss progress measured against these old (though like-new) jeans. They are light tan, perfect for summer wear, but as I stated months ago, I'm wearing them whenever I happen to fit into them properly.

To review:
My first attempt to try on my old size-24 jeans was on October 7, 2010, the unofficial 24-Update # 1.

The jeans were, literally, a second skin on me, and couldn't be zipped, never mind buttoned. My panties were substituting for jean material across my abs. Not exactly the look I was going for, you know? I could move, but only in a weird little half shuffle, because I had no leg movement (or feeling, for that matter). Hey, I was at least celebrating I could get them over my thighs, even if just barely. I actually thought at one point I'd have to be CUT out of the jeans. Pretty funny, looking back on it now, for those who care to read it in archives.

It was Sharon who suggested I may want to try on the jeans periodically, as I continued to lose weight. What a great idea! That is how the 24-Update (short for size 24 jeans update) was officially born. (Thanks, Sharon!) I would recommend this to EVERYBODY. We sometimes overlook our progress, and looking back makes me appreciate the progress I've made thus far.

Update # 2 saw me get the jeans over my legs with ease. It took only two weeks to go from second-skin to comfortable on my legs. I was thrilled with that! They weren't baggy, but also not a second skin. The progress wasn't so great above the thighs though. The jeans were so tight on the hips, and the button and buttonhole had a good 4" gap between them, maybe a little more. I still relied on the "panty panel" making up the gap of the gaping front.

Update # 3 was on November 5, almost a month after my first attempt to wear the old size-24 jeans. The legs were no longer an issue. The hips remained tight, but the distance between the button / hole had gone down to about a 3" gap, while the zipper still was not remotely close to closing. The two zipper halves, however, could at least "see each other now, from a distance."

Update # 4 saw the zipper go up about 1/4 of the way - and boy, was I excited about that! The button / hole had about 2.5" left to meet, but the gap was definitely shrinking. If I worked hard (HARD), I could barely just get the waistband fabric to touch - not buttoned, definitely not zipped, but edging closer.

Update # 5, major progress (albeit for only about 30 seconds). I zipped and buttoned the jeans! I couldn't breathe, and had to do a LOT of sucking-it-up. In fact, I struggled for several minutes, but I managed it. I couldn't bend or move, but I was elated! The jeans, across the abs and waist, were like a super-tight second skin, and my biggest fear was for the middle of the zipper, and the screaming button, that was just dying to fling itself off and imbed into the wall opposite me. Looking back, I think "my poor internal organs." The zippered moment lasted all of 30 seconds, for fear I'd split the zipper (literally). I actually had no business forcing it to that extreme, and am lucky I didn't ruin the jeans.

Update # 6 was mid-December. The waist buttoned easily, with just a minor sucking-in of the stomach. Like the legs, the waist was no longer an issue. Now, it was all about the hips and abs. I didn't push the zipper, after the previous attempt, but it was good for about 1/2 of the way. I was hoping I could "easily zipper up" the old 24s by Update # 7 ...

So?

Update # 7:

The leg material is comfortably loose, and the old 24s fit perfectly on the legs.

The waist - buttoned with ease. I didn't even have to suck in the tummy!

The hips / abs ... remain my nemesis. But yes, even there I saw progress. I sucked in my tummy, just a little, and could zipper up without too much thought.

Today, I could (for the first time) actually wear the jeans if I needed to, as long as I remained standing. They were too tight across the abs/hips area, and the fabric pulled there, but wearing a shirt untucked would take care of hiding that. I could walk around with ease and not a thought in the world about the jeans, but I wouldn't try sitting in them just yet. I'm so close!!

I went out earlier this week, and bought a new size 24 jeans. These old 24s (above) are truly old, by more than 15 years. The sizing of 24 back then, versus today's vanity-sizing, is quite a bit different. I tried on the new (black) size 24s, and

THEY FIT !!!!

They are not too loose, or too tight, but just right.

So, perhaps the old 24s are like today's 22s? I don't know, but I will continue into 2011 with my 24-Updates, on a biweekly, Friday, basis. I hope I will be comfortably wearing them by Valentine's Day! It really won't be long. I have to get rid of the stomach pooch (you know what I'm talking about) ... and since I'll be starting routine and regular exercise next week (walking?), I hope my pooch will shrink like crazy in January, allowing me to get into the old 24 jeans soon. Time will tell.

I'm so very close ...

The old 24s - light tan in color - have a month or so to go (at my current pace). The new 24s, however, fit right now! (They are black.) What a GREAT ending to a fabulous second half of 2010!

My next post needs to focus on my goals for the new year. Have you started thinking about 2011? What goals and / or resolutions do you have for 2011?

Decision Time

2010-12-30T15:45:00.000-05:00

I was thrown a dieting curve ball yesterday, with a simple emailed notice from our favorite local restaurateur.

We have a very unique local neighborhood restaurant, that grills everything over hickory wood. No fryers, no oven (except the wood-burning pizza oven) ... the food is delicious and fresh. The chef is a master at making unique combinations and the food is savory and mouth-watering.

The owner made the announcment yesterday (my curve ball), that they are going to close down after Friday night's service.

We're devastated. Even "modified" - for my diet - the dishes there are fantastic, and there is so much I can eat on plan. Mostly, though, it is home to my all-time favorite sandwich on earth. It is a vegetable concoction, with peppered goat cheese and balsamic vinegar ... it is just a big plate of love - and all for just over 400 calories, if I go for the wrap version (without the cheese, of course).

The sandwich, as it was intended (with crumbled peppered goat cheese) is my ideal sandwich. I've been having the modified version of it, knowing I can always have the full monty - as a treat - once in a great while (eventually). Well, that is, as long as the restaurant remained in business.

That is my curve ball. We plan to dine there this evening, a chance to say good-bye to people who have become friends, and half the neighborhood will be there today and tomorrow.

So, what do I choose to do? Do I have my modified sandwich, as usual, or do I order it full monty, the way it was originally created - for one last taste of my all-time favorite sandwich?

The question I am asking myself today is this: Do I indulge in my favorite sandwich, with cheese, knowing I can't have it again? Or do I remember the higher priority of my health, and have the modified version?

Not so easy to answer, knowing how long forever is, and that this is just one single meal and a one-shot deal. How will I feel afterwards? Food is never that important, after the fact. That bears keeping in mind. Still, no slam dunk resolve is forthcoming. Forever is a long time, to never enjoy a favorite anything.

So, I turn to math. There simply isn't much goat cheese used in the wrap. Less, in fact, than an inch-cube, crumbled into the masterpiece. I looked up what a 1" cube of goat cheese has for nutritional value, just to be conservative. Perhaps I can compensate elsewhere for the added calories ...

I am on a low-fat diet, so I know the added bit of fat won't be bothersome.  I remain way below the maximum allowed of fats on my plan. The calories are, conservatively, 100, but even if I double that number, I can compensate for that readily. No issues there.

The bigger picture will be, can I handle introducing my beloved cheese back into my diet? In other words, will just one visit to Cheese Land do it for me?   I don't need a taste sending me to Cheese R Us tomorrow, to stock up my arteries.

How well do I know myself? No BS, no justifications. I'm sitting here, deciding how to handle this little test. I think my resolve is quite strong. It is actually getting easier, as time goes by, to pass on certain things. I got past my birthday without my favorite (off-plan) birthday meal. I didn't even have a sip of wine on our anniversary. (I toasted with water, what else?) I didn't have a single bite of candy during Halloween weekend, despite the perfume of chocolate filling the air at every place we went. I did have traditional Thanksgiving food, but in a much more health manner - still lost weight that week too. I  even passed on the fattening food and traditional treats of Christmas, with a meal of homemade vegetable soup. Healthy won again! But this? This is forever. This is a one-shot, do-I-do-this thing.

I believe I can manage it, objectively. I know it won't derail my week, diet-wise. And I have only consumed 470 calories today so far - plenty left for tonight's meal, whichever way I go.

In the end, I decided to get my favorite sandwich full monty tonight (that means, with cheese). We'll dine earlier than usual, I'll keep calorie counts in close check, and that will be that. I'll savor my last taste of my favorite sandwich, and it will be gone - just like some of the beloved family recipes that died with the passing of my grandmother. I'm confident it won't lead to any off-plan behaviors, and that is the key for me.  I don't use food rewards, and this isn't some compensation or rationalization for my diet.

When you are eating healthy foods, in correct proportions, consistently and persistently, these types of opportunities can be enjoyed. If I had indulged in other areas throughout the week, this opportunity wouldn't even be an option for me. As it is, I have 730 calories to play with, in a sandwich plate that will probably barely kiss 600 calories.  The math was my friend today. So, I get to send my tastebuds one last heavenly tasting sandwich. I hope they appreciate it. LOL

Harry's Lesson

2010-12-28T22:23:00.002-05:00

We're coming up on a rather sad one-year anniversary, the death of our dear friend, Harry.

I don't want to write about it on that day - which is sad enough - but I wanted to mention his story. I'm not going to hold onto this anniversary, but I didn't want this first one to pass by unmentioned, since something may be learned by it. (Personally, we much prefer to celebrate birthdays, than to remember sad occasions.)

I could go on and on about what an amazing person Harry was. My husband and I were so very lucky to have known him for so many years. Harry was a kind, intelligent gentleman, with a heart of gold and a face a sculptor would envy. He was quite tall, dark-haired and uncommonly handsome - happily married, the father of two, and best friend to his faithful dog. His laugh was infectious. His spirit, patient and gentle. His humor, legendary among those who knew him. Harry was fiercly loyal to those he loved. And, yes, his full head of thick hair was the envy of every male friend over 40.

Harry was also morbidly obese, majorly morbidly obese, at just over 500 lbs. (at his heaviest).

He had some relatively minor mobility issues from time to time, but still got around. He easily side-stepped every little health issue that came his way. Life was good. His heart was strong. His constitution, ironclad.

Then, it got even better.

Harry found the strength to lose weight. He was a "slow loser," but over the previous three years, managed to shave more than one hundred pounds off his body! He did it thoughtfully, carefully, although inconsistently.

After all, old habits are hard to break - as we all know. And Harry loved a good restaurant meal. Who doesn't?! Harry used the "slow loser" mantra often, and seemed perfectly fine with the pace at which he was losing weight. As he often pointed out, at least he is losing! And he "has to live, after all." It sounded fine to us.

Harry looked amazing, and was enjoying life more than ever, as he continued to gain flexibility, easier breathing, and all the rest that goes along with losing weight. Harry was active and happy and so very talented.

That all came to an end, overnight - literally.

Without any warning whatsoever, our healthier Harry (who just had a check-up a few weeks earlier), passed away. He was only in his 50s. Everyone who knew him was completely stunned by the news.

His beloved wife and precious children were devastated. No one had a chance to even say good-bye. We were told his blood pressure destabilized, and the heart soon followed. The doctors couldn't save him.

Apparently, from what the doctors said, Harry was indeed healthier ...

but not yet healthy.   Harry was still morbidly obese.

I can absolutely guarantee one thing to you: Harry didn't want to die.

Had he a glimpse into his future, his "slow loser" excuses would no doubt have ended, as he truly got serious and focused more on what needed to be done. But, since he was well on his way to a healthier Harry, he thought he had bought himself time. And maybe he did, just not as much as he thought.

The routine doctor appointments and test results gave no warning. Sure, he was obese and was cautioned to lose the weight - but haven't we all been likewise cautioned? And Harry was doing that, albeit slowly.

Harry didn't get to start the new year with his wife, and celebrate 2010 with their children and grandchildren.

It turns out, Harry's lesson is that the journey alone won't necessarily protect everyone from devastating results.

Procrastination, and excuses can hurt us, perhaps not necessarily so, but the possibility exists. And routine scans and blood draws don't always show what is about to happen. Not every decline is slow and with warning. I don't like to think about that. Who does? But the possibility has to be acknowledged.

No one - no - one - saw this coming, not even his ever-vigilant and amazing doctor.

I learned, it isn't enough to just be on the journey with good intentions of eventually getting there, making a little progress every few months. We have to work to reach those goals. We have to be honest - with ourselves, at least, if with no one else.

Today, Harry's family is doing great! And his precious grandchildren are getting so big! It is a shame they are too young to remember him. They were everything to that man - the future - and cherished like none other. He doted on them and was so proud. I think he'd have given up his favorite foods in a heartbeat, if he knew he'd never live long enough, otherwise, for his grandchildren to even remember him. The truth?

Harry could have done better.

This week I am asking myself, "Can I?"

I've done well with my dieting, but could I have done better? I'm not perfect (who is?), but there was definitely room in my diet and (so far) almost non-existent exercising for improvement.

So, in 2011, my daily question to myself will be: Can I do better?

I'm (barely) no longer morbidly obese, but I am severely obese. I am attacking my mini-goals. I am still not out of the woods, but for every 5% I lose, I gain ground on getting healthy.

I am certainly much healthier than I was last year at this time, but, as the doctor said about Harry, I'm not yet healthy.

That is the ultimate goal - good health. And no matter how good or how poorly I do on this journey to get there, certain facts do not change. Being obese (whatever the category) is not healthy. Being overweight is not healthy. Lack of routine exercise is not healthy.

I'm improving all the time, but the journey is not over until I reach the destination.

CAN I do better? You better believe it. I can do better. And I will.

Conspiring For My Success? Phase IV Preparations ...

2010-12-28T14:03:00.000-05:00

Hello, ex-Couch Potato here. I'm fighting my natural tendency to shun all things exercise. Part of preparing for my new year's resolution (embracing regular exercise), is getting my mind in its proper place. Where the mind goes, the body follows. So, I'm taking this last week of the Phase III challenge (SSDDDY) to also prepare properly for next week. Part of that preparation is to take an objective look at my attitude, and make some healthy changes, and healthier choices.

It all comes down to choices, after all. String enough good choices together, and we get improvement. Don't, and we go nowhere - fast.

So, my self-assessment was not too pretty. I've caught myself slipping into that self-destructive mindset of "enjoying this last week" of relaxation, before the real work begins. That's lazy (or crazy) thought for "I don't want to change. I just want the results without the effort." Wah, wah, wah ....

That IS crazy-thought. I can't have positive results without positive change, after all. Yet, here I sit, thinking up a big-person's common excuse of "I'll do it later, better get in the good stuff while I can." That is a losing mindset, and I won't have it anylonger.

Then, as if nature itself is conspiring for my success, this upcoming weekend is going to be GORGEOUS ... just perfect for outdoor exercise (aka, walking). The "it is too cold" excuse door has been slammed shut for me. Heck, it is even being slammed shut for the Northeasterners - because all that snowfall will be melted like magic over the next few days.

No couch-potato-ways in the days leading up to the new year!

I am going to end this year on a positive note, with healthy changes and increased efforts. Why wait until next year? The calendar flip excuse is only delaying health. I can be reactive or proactive ... proactive gets to the goal line. Reactive gets, at best, treading water. Delaying things (diet, exercise, etc.) is a fat person's fall-back position. I've used the "I'll start on Monday" tactic before. It just doesn't get me to the results I want.

Which am I going to be? Proactive in adapting changes to improve my health and well-being? Or reactive, in putting forth partial effort for so-so results? Please, the answer is obvious! This is hard work, and I don't want to revisit territory twice. Let's get it done already!

THIS IS THE YEAR. This is the week. Today is the day!

I bought new walking shoes, which I will break in this week, wearing them around the house, etc. And I also bought a better all-weather jacket, for walking outdoors. I'm taking away excuses, you see. I am preparing myself for success. How many people prepare themselves for failure? Or put another way, fail to prepare for success? I have, in the past.

Now? I'm eliminating those larger clothing sizes from my closet. I used to be afraid to go there (because I may need them again) -- See? That is preparing for failure.

And just today, I found myself thinking (albeit, momenarily), "I better enjoy this week of doing nothing while I can. I deserve it, after all." Scary. I deserve to respect myself enough to do what I need to, in order to get healthy. Don't we all deserve a fit life? A LONG fit life?

So, the ice is melting, the roads are already mostly dry, and it is obvious that nature is conspiring for my success, and I need to get on board and conspire for my own success too. I am still a very big gal, so I know not to expect athlete performances right out of the gate. Slow and steady progress, a can-do (WILL-do) attitude, and a rock-solid committment to improving my health will be the foundation of a wonderful 2011.

Preparations are starting now. I'm getting ready. I'm excited, because I know I am taking another step closer to having one of my healthiest years ever! I did well in the 5.5 months I worked it in 2010, so it will be FUN to see what I can do with 12 full months of the 2011 calendar. Persistence, not perfection, but a solid and straightforward effort. I'm all over this ...

New Sights

2010-12-27T09:00:00.003-05:00

I've read (somewhere) women should have waist measurements below 30".

Today, I measured in at 40", so just ten more to hit that target. I'm hoping the exercise component I will be adding next week will help get me there a little faster. I'm still a long way from the 28" is used to be in my healthy days, but I'm also not 20-something anymore.

I'm very excited that my hips dropped in size this week. It will make the next attempt at wearing the old size 24s a little easier. The waist and legs are fine. It is the hip measurement that is making the jeans not yet wearable. Will this next attempt be "the one?!" (Wouldn't THAT be exciting?!) Maybe not this next attempt, but soon ...

Lots to do today, and I'll be heading out the door shortly. I have a lot of blog reading catching up to do !! Thank you to all who've left comments, suggestions and messages over the last week. I've read them all by this posting. I'm looking forward to reading your blogs. It is great that we can all support each other. I know the holidays were tough for everyone, but the season is behind us now!! Time to refocus and look toward the new year, right?

2011 is going to be the best - let's all apply ourselves, give our best efforts, and slide into summer at our healthiest yet!! We CAN do this!!

Onward and downward ...

Day 159 - Weigh-in Results: 245 lbs.

2010-12-27T08:16:00.001-05:00

Up 2 lbs. from last week's weigh-in. (WHAT??!!) Hey, no worries. I did very well this week, staying on-plan through every festivity and drinking plenty ... of WATER. Okay, with the occasional diet cola tossed in there too. I treated myself to a diet Pepsi here and there ... zero calories, etc. Hey, it was Christmas.

Why am I not dejected over giving up two pounds?

1. I stayed on plan.
2. Female stuff.
and ...

3. I'VE LOST MORE INCHES!

That's right. The scale may have gone up a little on water-retention (female stuff), but that doesn't mean my progress cannot be tracked. I've lost some girth from both my waist and hips this week!

YAY!! Actually, DOUBLE YAY, because the hips actually lost more than the waist this past week, and any time my hips give up any fraction of an inch, it is a good day for me!

Did I mention I even got in some exercise? We had a rare Christmas snowfall here, and yesterday we arrived at church a bit early, to discover hazardous walkways. I grabbed a shovel and helped clear the main entryway of the heavy, wet snow.

So, how did everyone do on their diets over Christmas week/end? Are you kicking yourself? I hope not! This is, for me, the first Christmas in a long time where I stuck to healthy everything, and that sense of power felt great! It wasn't always easy, but I'm having none of the post-Christmas regrets (as in "why did I eat that?!!") - life is good.

I'm lookimg forward to the beginning of a new year, and all the promise that brings with it.

Day 159 (already!!), and moving forward ...

ADDENDUM: Dad spent a good portion of the weekend in the ER for his antibiotic infusions. The infusion center couldn't get the bag in properly, and we were directed to the ER on Christmas. You can't skip antibiotic treatment when you are fighting sepsis. Dad's treatment continues, but the remaining week's daily infusions should be easily handled by the doctor's office. Keeping our fingers crossed on that one ...

Festivities Over

2010-12-24T22:22:00.002-05:00

Well, it is after 10 pm on Christmas Eve, and we are home from the family festivities. (Everyone goes early, because the host family this year has youngsters who are excitedly awaiting Santa's arrival.) The parents, of course, still have things to do - after the kids were off to bed - to ready the place for the Big Guy's slide down the chimney.

We'll be heading out in a few hours for midnight church service.

So, how did I do? Excellent! I had ONE BOWL of vegetable soup, and some banana/pineapple for dessert, water, pomegranate juice, and a very fresh date stuffed with a pecan (YUM)! Oh, and I had a thimble-sized bite of a sugarplum (yes, they are real).

I did well! But tomorrow is another story.

One of my in-laws gave me a glorious box of Bateel Dates, straight from Dubai. Folks, these are dates like you've never had them before. They taste so fresh, as if picked off the tree yesterday! They are sitting in my house now, eight wonderful dates, calling to me from their little box. Aaaaaannnnnnn, oh, Annnnnnnnnn ....

I'm going to enjoy 3-4 tomorrow (I think), but first I need to check on the nutrition information of dates. I think they are either the Naboot Seif or Sukari (variety) dates, but I need to double-check that. Hey, at least they aren't chocolate-covered! If you've never had truly fresh dates, like those from the Bateel company, you have no clue what they are supposed to taste like. If I ever visit California, I'm including a visit to a date farm, just to shop some freshly picked dates!

Well, the family went CRAZY when they saw me! Some haven't seen me in 4 months, so it was a shock I think, to see me about 50 lbs lighter. It was great fun, but then got a little embarrassing, because it went on and on and on ... and of course the dreaded camera came out and the room was awash in flash bulbs.

I'm not sure what to make of this one, but one of my sisters-in-law (who KNOWS I've been dieting), gave me two huge "organic" milk chocolate almond bars. (HUGE candy bars, like 760 calories each or something insane like that.) That isn't even something I'd normally eat, before dieting. She knows I like chocolate though.

Why buy a dieter something like that?! You think she would know better, because she is the family glamour girl, for heaven's sake.

I'll pass the love on to someone who appreciates it more, before I am tempted to tear into one. She also gave me a gift certificate to Starbucks "for lattes." I plan on using it to buy a few water bottles or mugs or something. No lattes for this dieter!

In all these years (decades), I've never had food-related gifts like I've had this year. Sheesh! It figures, right?

Tomorrow, we're eating at Dad's home. Nothing special planned for the day (hanging out at Dad's). It will basically be a day of noshing as the mood hits us, and lots of reading and/or TV. That is, after taking Dad for his morning antibiotic infusion. Yes, even on Christmas.

Allan dropped a comment, asking if I'm ready for the next phase of the challenge. (Phase IV begins in January.) The answer is NO.

I am doing very well with the dieting thing, but exercise is a much, much tougher thing for me to master.

I wish it wasn't so, but my past experiences with exercise were not good. I've never warmed to it. I've never been any good at it. I've not even particularly gotten any joy out of it. Well, that isn't entirely true. I actually don't enjoy participating in it, but I'll watch an athlete with rapt attention and admiration. Stick me in a football stadium, and I'm a happy camper.

I don't think I'll ever be truly ready for exercise, but I am doing my very best to get my attitude properly adjusted for this challenge. And I WILL give it 100% ... I'm determined to, actually.

I know exercise is so important for good and sustained health. It is a necessity, and I have to just make up my mind to embrace it and enjoy it. Someone told me the key is to find something I enjoy. I've been thinking about that. I enjoy genealogy research. I enjoy photography. I enjoy reading. I enjoy the occasional game of croquet (though not in winter). These are not "activities" that are particularly active. Therein lies my problem. I do enjoy walking, but by that I mean strolling. That doesn't cut it for cardiovascular health. So, I am actually very much looking forward to this challenge. It will be the hardest (yet) for me. I know this going in, but I am also determined (just as I've been with my diet), to make this work for me. I'm going to apply the same level of attention to this challenge, but for the first time, I'm more than a little concerned about my basic ability.

We all have to start somewhere, right? So, 2011 (Phase IV challenge) will be the start of my love affair with exercise.

Attitude is everything, and I'm bringing my can-do best game to Phase IV. You won't know, unless you try, right? I'm really looking forward to finally dropping my couch potato ways. I'm just not sure how to safely go about that, so I'm looking at this next challenge as an opportunity to learn to do just that.

While my doctor said moving would be a GOOD thing, his only advice on the exercise front has been to "start slow" and work my way into it. (Whatever that means ...)

I see the shaking weight stick things on TV, the ab sliding thing you are supposed to kneel on (can't do that with my not-so-good knee), and a thing with bows (like crossbows) all over it, wires everywhere ... everyone seems to know what these things do and how they work and how great they are, but it is all alien to me. (I keep thinking, instead of buying a weight thingy that shakes, can't I just grab a can of crushed pineapple and shake away?) I'm just not getting it. I hope Allan's challenge, and his exercise consultant, can help me improve that neglected area of health - exercise!

Well, time to check out the postings out here in Blogland, before heading for church. Merry Christmas!

Must ... Fight ... Craving ... Must ... Be ... Strong ...

2010-12-24T09:35:00.001-05:00

Well, I awoke in a mood this morning. I'm feeling rather peckish, and there is no reason for it. Hubby is blissfully sleeping (as I should be), and I've started the vegetable chopping for the hearty vegetable soup I'll be bringing to the Christmas feast. There will be lots of yummy, not-on-my-diet things to tempt me this evening, but I'm sticking to my diet. If nothing else is available, I know I can at least enjoy this vegetable soup. So, my plan is in place and I'm working it.

We had another Christmas gathering to attend yesterday. It was at a fabulous restaurant ...

Restaurants, at Christmastime, go all-out. -- sigh -- And the host knows the restaurant owner, and so you can imagine the table of food that was comped. The kitchen sent over all sorts of fabulous things to nibble on, and even tossed in some wine !!

It was just incredible-looking. But, I was good. I had a portabello mushroom sandwich, minus the cheese, with a side of roasted new potatoes, naked, and no dessert. I drank water, and had one diet coke. I enjoyed the company and had a great time! Hubby even got in on the act, and ordered a tuna burger! I was impressed.

I passed on the appetizers, but it was hard. A cheesy, mayonnaise artichoke concoction called out to me in particular, to no avail. I watched everyone else going to town on it though. It looked soooooo good! No pity parties here. I've had more than my fill in years' past, or I'd not be 243 today. It isn't such a sacrifice to pass on some of the less healthy things this one year. It is the price I pay for overindulging over many, many years.

Today, I have a taste for Carrabbas' Chicken Bryan - the dish was custom made for my tastebuds. It is like the perfect food to me. If we can have only one dish in Heaven, this would be mine. Maybe that is why I am peckish this morning. I want what I can't have, and today (Christmas Eve), I'm irritated with myself. I make a fabulous vegetable soup, but it is no Chicken Bryan. And, of all days, why get a craving TODAY? Grrrrrrrrrr ...

This too shall pass, but if I just learned to say no more often, years ago, perhaps I'd be able to enjoy a little taste of CB today. So, whose fault it this? MINE. Can't even enjoy my favorite food on Christmas Eve Day ... wah, wah, wah ... I know, whiny baby that I am today. But, no pity parties here! I'm filling the house with the wonderful scent of a healthy soup, and have Christmas music playing in the background. Hubby should be up soon, and I have to starting packing up the Christmas presents for the kids, so there'll be lots of distractions from this rich food craving I'm having.

Time to read up on what those who are around are posting out in Blogville today. Happy Christmas Eve!!

On The Eve of Christmas Eve

2010-12-23T07:42:00.000-05:00

How is your diet going?

I told Katie this morning to keep that resolve going, and remember, naughty or nice - it is onward and downward post-Christmas. I think the new year will boost a lot of sagging motivations. We ALL fight that battle this time of year!

I'm not cooking this year - too much going on between Dad and hubby (medically speaking). The big Christmas get-together is tomorrow evening (Christmas Eve). For my part, I'm bringing a hearty homemade soup to Christmas dinner this year, and plenty of it. My thinking is that no matter what is served, I have something yummy, filling and on plan to eat.

The plethora of homemade baked goodies are going to be another issue, but I fight those battles one at a time.
------------------------

We had dinner out with friends last night. The other couple doesn't know I am dieting, but they haven't seen me in almost 1.5 months and nearly fell out of their chairs when we arrived at the restaurant. Fun! hehehe I think I can safely say the weight loss is FINALLY starting to show, even to those who don't normally pay attention to those sorts of things. It will be interesting to see the relatives' reactions tomorrow, as there will be a good many out-of-towners there.

------------------------

The rare (medically necessary - ahem) cheese I had yestderday did the trick this morning, for this lactose intolerant gal. I feel SO much better. I think I've been a little too efficient in reducing fat from the diet. All things in moderation, right? Balance is important.

Today, I crave NO cheese, and there is none in the house at this point, so I'm good.

------------------------

We have LOTS to do today, including shopping for the soup ingredients. Dad has another infusion, but so far his body is responding to the antibiotics, which is a good thing. We thought, for a while, that the two of us would be spending Christmas in the hospital (Dad admitted for sepsis, and me to keep him company bedsoide). We hope the infection will soon be cleared enough to resume cancer treatment.

------------------------

Enjoy the day, and have a happy holiday weekend! It looks like I'll be posting again tomorrow morning, but I know a lot of you are signing off for the weekend today. Enjoy!!

I'm Just Sayin' ...

2010-12-22T08:12:00.000-05:00

I'm hoping for a drama-less day today! Dad has a now-routine doctor appointment this afternoon, for his antibiotic infusion, but hubby is free of medical stuff today, and we are both off through the holiday weekend! Hooray!!

Speaking of drama-less:

Just because someone may look indestructable, doesn't make it so.   And even the most positive person has a down day.

My friend, Allan, has had the wind temporarily knocked out of his sails, by perhaps well-meaning posts (and some not-so-well-meaning posts). He's received lots of pep-talk commentary from everyone, including myself, but the bottom line is that he was knocked down. I have no doubt he'll be just fine, but everyone must remember, what he does and what he says, is out of kindness and concern for others. This is a man who finds it helps himself to help others. You may not like his style, but you have to respect a guy who'll tell it like he sees it, and who will put himself out there for the benefit of all.

Perspective is an important thing too.   No one on the weight loss Blogosphere needs the added pressure of being hero-worshipped, well-intended though it may be.

Admire someone, be inspired certainly, but remember, we are (all of us) just regular folks trying to break old habits and get healthy, sharing the ride with others. Every circumstance is different (not better or worse, just different), and we hope to end up in the same place at the end of it all. Some will make it, some won't, but in the end, we're all on the same playing field.

I'm not saying anyone did any of these things, of course, but the perception was there (for Allan). Let's not forget, he is a big guy, trying to became a less big guy - just like the rest of us. He has been more successful, sooner (and has been willing to share that), but in the end, we need to care for him like we do for everyone else on this journey. No pedestals, no gutter-kicking either. Enjoy Allan for the precious gift he is, just as we would any of the bloggers we follow.  We all have "stuff" we're dealing with, aside (and as part of) this weight loss journey.

Let's be thoughtful of one another.

Okay, YES ... I'll have weight stuff to blog about later, but I need to get showered and dressed first, and get some breakfast into me. It is important, to start the metabolism going.

Enjoy the day! More later ...

Tuesday, all day today

2010-12-21T13:11:00.001-05:00

Well, I think I've gotten too good at reducing fat from my diet. I'm in need of introducing some today ... we'll leave it at that. Hmmmm .... this lactose-intolerant gal can have cheese for medical purposes today!! hehehe

I'm going to pick up my old size-24 jeans from the alerations place this afternoon (having the pants hemmed, for when I can actually wear them). Someone asked why I call them "old" when they are like-new. Well, for two reasons:

1. I've had them for over 15 years, though practically unworn; and
2. They are the old standard size 24s, not the vain-sizing of today's "roomier" 24s.

Sharon had SUCH a great idea, when she suggested I keep trying them on, and logging my progress. (Thanks, Sharon!! xx) Instead of feeling like these things STILL don't fit, I can actually look back and see the progress. I sometimes forget where I've been.

It is fun looking back, as a reminder, as long as there has been progress! (How depressing would it be, to look back and find nothing much has changed over a long period of time?!)

Our temps are finally starting to climb back into more normal ranges. We were so cold here, so early, that I thought I'd impose on Anne soon, to get the guest room ready. They were warm, when the rest of us were freezing! (Yes, I was jealous, cold and jealous!) Okay, and I wanted to shop at that awesome international store too. hehehe

Dad is continuing to get a daily dose of IV antibiotics. The doctor did a blood draw yesterday, so we're hoping to hear Dad has turned the corner on the sepsis. It is a serious infection.

I'm having trouble locating a place that will sell (new stock) of the Lunt Silversmith's Bel Chateau pattern spoons. That is my incentive for this current mini-goal - I'll take either a teaspoon or soup spoon. I can find them at Replacements, but I would rather have new stock than gently used, if I can find new. The Lunt website doesn't sell directly. I guess the hunt is on. I have to know I can buy the incentive, before I make it one. LOL

Lest I forget ...

This last salad in the series is wonderful. If you've never worked with tofu, or star anise, this is the dish to try! Learn something new, and be amazed at the flavor. I mix up the marinade and put the tofu/marinade in the refrigerator, before heading out for the day. It is ready, that evening, for a quick and flavorful dinner. It is also fun to serve this for company, as the salad course - just be sure they like mushrooms!

12 DAYS OF SALADS

Day 12:

MUSHROOM & TOFU SALAD

8 oz. firm tofu
1 lb. mushrooms (mix the variety)

1 garlic clove, finely minced
1/2 " fresh ginger root, peeled and finely minced
5 TB soy sauce, low sodium
1 TB mirin
2 TB sweet chili sauce
1.5 TB seasame oil

2 star anise

5 scallions, finely sliced
2 TB toasted seasme seeds

Mix the second set of ingredients together for the marinade. Add the star anise. Put the tofu in a NONmetallic dish, pour over the marinade, cover and refrigerate for at least 2 hours (overnight is best).

Cut all mushrooms into bite-sized pieces and saute in a hot saucepan for one minute. Cut the marinated tofu into 1/2"- 3/4" squares, mix with the mushrooms and pour over the remaining marinade.

Garnish with the scallions and sesame seeds. Eat immediately. Serves 4

_________________________________________________

Merry Christmas, for those signing off for the holidays today!! I'm good for at least two more days. I'll be signing off for the holiday though, either on Thursday or Friday. I'll post that, before signing off. I will be back to my usual posting on Monday, in either case.

Good-bye! It was a pleasure to get to know you in this Diet Journey. Thank you!!

2010-12-21T12:20:00.000-05:00

I've been reading a lot of blogs this week, not commenting as often, but reading ...

Half of Blogland, it seems, is taking a break from dieting this next week.

I get it, I do. I've done that myself, almost every single diet past - as if I am incapable of enjoying Christmas without unhealthy eating. Nothing says "celebrate" like a cheese log, auntie's fudge and the family's gooey cookies!

I've tried the "taking a break" route. It has never (ever) worked for me. It sounds good, heck, even logical, but in practice, it usually doesn't work.  In my case, I open the door to long-standing habits, and it is doubly difficult to close it again. Actually, closing that door isn't difficult, but making up my mind to DO so is nearly impossible. So, this year, I decided to try something different, and stick with my diet right through the holiday season. I proved to myself (at Thanksgiving), it is possible. So I am confident I can do it again.

But, I wonder how many of my favorite bloggers (who are taking a "break") are even going to make it back in January. It is a little sad, like learning someone has passed away, and not being able to say good-bye. Everyone jumps on to comment, when they announce their intentions, and people say such supportive and understanding things. I kick myself, because the best I can muster is to say I'll see you in January (then hope like crazy it is true).

I'm just a little worried, not uncaring or unsympathetic.

I've really enjoyed getting to know these bloggers, and am invested in seeing them achieve their goals. Hey, it helps ME too, when others inspire me. So, knowing how I've personally handled "taking a break," in the past, I'm a bit worried. Yes, I know my experience isn't necessarily anyone else's experience (and I hope it ISN'T), but experience is what forms our opinions. I just can't help it. This, then, is my opinion:

I think "taking a break" (while understandable) is a major, major diet misstep.

I'm not judging the "breakers" - I'm just being completely selfish here, because I want them all to return! I think we all give each other strength, and this will be - for some - the break-up of the support system that is my favorite blogger list. Some just won't make it, despite their best intentions. That has been my own personal experience. So ...

For those leaving their diets with the full intention of making it "temporary," I just want to say thank you for sharing your struggles and successes, the highs and lows of your diet journey. Successful, or less so, you've helped me, encouraged me, educated me, and mostly, inspired me! I know you don't intend for this break to be a good-bye, but "just in case" please allow me to say:

THANK YOU! It was a true pleasure to get to know you in this diet journey!! I hope our paths cross again one day, but if not, I want to let you know, you made a difference to me!  You helped me. And I hope one day someone can do for you, what you've done for me (so far).   My heartfelt wishes for a long and happy life, and the warmest of good-byes. I'm going to miss you!

You made a difference, to me.  We may never communicate again, but I just don't want this chance to pass by without letting you know it.

So long and best of warm wishes!

xxox

Plan for Success

2010-12-20T08:55:00.002-05:00

I have, sitting on the shelf above my computer, a trio (family) of small-scale model horses. I've had the family for 38 years now. They haven't been played with in over 30 years, but they remain a reminder of fond memories, of good times with long-gone cherished family members. Silly, I know.

I remember playing with the horses on the floor of my great grandmother's dining room. I can smell the food, hear the adults (most of whom have passed away years and years ago), still picture the antique furnishings of a dwelling long gone.  I can still see the old, oriental carpet of the dining room, in my mind. Those are the sorts of memories my little horse family bring back to me, details that would otherwise be lost, never having been recorded by photograph.

Food, the taste, the scent, the look ... they also trigger memories. That is perhaps why I have had (in years past) a difficult time sticking with a diet. I like the food I grew up with, or developed a taste for, in part because of my history with it.  So many of our family gatherings centered around food. Traditions were passed down, techniques taught, love communicated ... all through food. It took me a long time to learn to loosen my grip on that particular aspect of food. I don't have to give up those things forever, but they have to become rare treats, not weekly habits. And, in shifting them to "occasional" status, they become even more precious to me! I learned it wasn't about giving up those triggers for fond memories, but placing them where they become more special and less damaging to me in the long-term.

We're creatures of habit, and changing habits can be tough. It isn't always a pleasant or easy process, but we learn something from it, don't we?  So, for this Christmas weekend, I'm going to pick one traditional treat, have a taste of it (not go crazy ... a TASTE of it), and really relish all that it brings to me in flavor and texture and memories too. Then, I return from that momentary deviation, to what I've adopted as my regular diet. Oh yes, accounting for the calories, for sure, and adjusting for them! It is about working what we love most into a healthy and sustainable lifestyle. I'm thinking, small taste, limited quantity, short duration. This is what my plan is for Christmas. The rest, as they say, is gravy!

Today will be loaded with doctor appointments for Dad and hubby (post-op stuff). I wanted to be sure to post the salad, before the day got away from me.

As more and more people bow out for the Christmas holiday (fast-approaching!!), I wanted to wish ALL a Merry Christmas! I'll be signing off (probably) sometime on Thursday or early Friday, and will be back online on Monday. (And yes, I've already made arrangements with Allan about the weigh-in.)

It has been a pleasure to share the diet journey with this group of fellow-bloggers these last 5 months, and I look forward to a very successful 2011 for us all. The promise of a fresh start in a new year is just around the corner. Let's make it our best year and make those goal weight wishes a reality!

The salad today is called "high end" salad, because it tastes rich. It has all the decadence of flavor, without all the added calories. This is a good "Sunday brunch" style of salad. The play of tarragon, egg, leeks and capers are amazing together.

12 DAYS OF SALADS

Day 11:

HIGH-END SALAD

4 eggs, hard-boiled but not overcooked (no green around the yolks, folks)
10 oz. broccoli
2 small leeks, about 10 oz. total
tarragon sprigs, for garnish

4 TB lemon juice
2 TB olive oil
2 tsp. honey (or other appropriate sweetening agent)
1 TB capers, drained
2 TB tarragon, chopped

Salt & Pepper, to taste

Cut broccoli into florets and thickly slice the stems. Trim, slit and wash the leeks and cut them into thick slices. Cook broccoli for 2 minutes, add the leeks, and continue cooking for 2 more minutes. Drain. (Do NOT overcook.)

Meanwhile, make the dressing by mixing together all the sescond list of ingredients in a big salad bowl. Salt and pepper to taste.

Cool the eggs for proper handling (in a cold water bath). Remove, take off the shells and rough-chop the eggs.

Add the broccoli and leeks to the dressing bowl, toss. Then, add the chopped eggs. Garnish with sprigs of tarragon and serve warm (traditionally with thick artisian bread). Serves 4.

_______________________________________

Thanks for the SSDDDY Rockin' Award, Allan! I've added this (below) to my Awards page ... Congrats to all the gals who "rocked the scale" (so far) in Phase III of the SSDDDY Challenge!

Assessment

2010-12-19T09:42:00.001-05:00

Assessment is my motivational word for today. Assessment: The act of evaluation.

I am two weeks into my month, and I'm on target to having my best month ever for weight loss, even surpassing my very first start-up month.   Awesome! I think it is my body adjusting to the new, tighter, calorie restrictions and the added water. It is treating this change, in essence, as a new start-up.

I've read it is important to keep the body guessing, and perhaps this is proof of that. Keeping the body guessing, from all I've read, helps keep the metabolism in higher gear (well that, and staying properly hydrated).

December has traditionally been one of those months (in diets past) I'd "take a break" from dieting ... aka I'd quit. For, while I had every intention of going back on the diet, I never really got back into it. Or I would, but had gained so much over the holidays, I'd kick myself for undoing so much previous hard work and progress.

So, it is especially amazing to me to be at year's end and still steadfast in my commitment. I was stronger than I gave myself credit for being, OR, I just know myself so well by now, I am anticipating my usual reactions and am circumventing them - for instance, by doing a tougher challenge in December. I picked something to force me to focus more intently. So far, it seems to be working.

I know the body will eventually adjust to this regimen too. But, I feel I have a very good handle now on proper portion sizes, proper hydration, proper foods. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm well on the path I need to be on.

I am going to turn my attention now to something that is (for me) an even greater challenge - exercise.

It is necessary for good balanced health, and it is something I've NEVER (not even when thin, not even as a child) warmed up to. I think exercise comes naturally to many people, but not to all of us - not to ME.  I recognize, for the sake of good and sustained health, it is vital to incorporate regular exercise into my routine. This is why I've made it a resolution this year.

Yes, something I've always avoided, I am going to learn to love and embrace.

I did well in my walking earlier this fall, but typical for me, the downturn in weather was the very excuse I needed to stop doing it. I read with envy Clyde, Patrick and Christina and others, who RUN in all sorts of weather, setting personal bests and enjoying the movement of their bodies and the challenge of it all. I love reading those posts, actually. It is like watching the Olympics. I may never engage in that activity, but it is a beautiful thing to behold. LOL My knee won't allow me to run, but that doesn't mean I can't do something.

Well, I was delighted when Allan announced Phase IV will be a focus on exercise.  I'm committed and looking forward to changing my fitness level.  You know, over Thanksgiving, I got on a treadmill thing at the local hotel, where some of the overflow guests stayed. It had all sorts of buttons and gadgets, but I eventually figured out how to punch in the fitness test.

The machine starts up, and I begin walking ... at a good clip. It wasn't long before I had to breathe through my mouth, sucking in air. Well, you hold onto bars that measure your heart rate, etc. And, after a 5 minute workout, where I actually broke a sweat, the machine read:

Very low

And here I thought I did well just to make it to the end of the 5 minute fitness test without passing out.   So, my fitness level is pretty much not there.  And that is why I'm shifting my focus to something I've always avoided.  I'm jumping in where I traditionally avoid most, feet first, no net.

I probably should be scared, but I'm so uneducated on anything remotely fitness related, that I don't have the common sense to be. I don't even know what, if any, effect regular exercise will have on my appetite. I'm an exercise infant ... a great BIG exercise infant. LOL

I'm ending 2010 more than 80 lighter than this time last year. And I am so pleased! If I do that again, in 2011, I'd be very near normal (healthy) weight range next December! Awesome ...

Wee Hour Meanderings

2010-12-19T01:11:00.000-05:00

My winter coat is too big for me. It isn't even effective in keeping out the cold anylonger, there is so much loose fabric to funnel the cold air right to my body. LOL Well, I hunted online and found the same exact coat, so I just ordered it THREE sizes smaller! Last winter, it was actually borderline too small - couldn't snap the last button closed. Now? It is ridiculously large on me. How neat is that?

Here is another NSV ... I felt my sternum for the first time in over a decade. It took me a little while to figure out what it was, but location-location-location. hehehe Honestly, every other shower seems to be an adventure in rediscovery. I'm lathering up and thinking, "what is that" and "this wasn't there before" ... Dah. LOL

Well, I just heard a very excellent reason for losing weight slowly (1-2 lbs/week) ... the pace allows the skin to keep up with the loss, so less likely to have sagging issues and a need for future surgery. I've not heard that one before, so I guess I need to hunt down more information on the Internet. I have no idea if that is accurate information or not.

One of my relatives married a Greek national, and this is a type of salad (below) his mother made. I'm not sure what to call it, because it isn't a standard "Greek salad" made with lettuce, so I'll just call it "Opa Salad." I'm sure it has a name, but it is all Greek to me ... (Sorry, couldn't resist)

12 DAYS OF SALADS

Day 10:

OPA SALAD

1 lb. cucumbers*
2.5 lbs. tomatoes, cut into 1" pieces (get a variety of color, for more interesting salad)
1/3 cup Kalamata olives, pitted and coarsely chopped
1/8-1/4 cup loostly packed fresh dill, chopped
1/2 cup fresh mint leaves, chooped and loosely packed
1/2-2/3 cup feta cheese, crumbled

2 TB fresh lemon juice, and rind of 1/4 lemon
1 TB olive oil
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground black pepper

*Note: using peeler, remove 4 evenly spaced lengthwise strips of peel from each cucumber (creating stripes), then cut each cucumber lengthwise into quarters. THEN cut crosswise into 1/2" pieces.

In a large bowl, whip lemon juice, oil, salt and pepper until well blended, and mix in grated lemon rind.
Add cucumbers, tomatoes, mint, olives and dill and toss until everything is coated with the dressing. Lastly, sprinkle the crumbled feta cheese on top.
__________________________________

Dad is seriously ill with a blood infection, and will be undergoing IV antibiotic treatment over the next several weeks. He is as cranky as can be, tired (he says) of being a pin cushion. His normal humor has abandoned him, understandably. It has been a tough month so far, poor guy!! Still, we're lucky it was caught in time (the doc thinks).

Day 150 - Weigh-in Results: 243 lbs. (Revised)

2010-12-18T03:33:00.004-05:00

This weekend's results show 6 lbs lost since last weekend! Fantastic! I've lost 10+ points off my BMI, just since late July -- 15+ points since December 17, 2009!!

Those who've stopped by earlier this week, know I reached my major milestone mini-goal (weighing 247 lbs), dropping me out of morbid obesity! I'm now working toward reaching a target of 230 lbs.

I confess to weighing myself Thursday, so I knew to expect more loss, but it is official today (Saturday).

This also marks another milestone of sorts. I now (officially) have less than 100 lbs to lose, in order to reach my goal weight! I probably shouldn't be too excited about that, but in late July, I was looking at 162 lbs to lose ... progress!

I am now just 10 lbs. away from hitting the target in the "Lose 60 lbs in one year" challenge. My progress in this challenge is noted after my signature, and the blue box (right sidebar) counts down how many days are left in the challenge. This is an important challenge to me, because it allows me to prove to myself that I have the ability to stick with something longer-term.

I've been trying to catch up on my blog reading. Did everyone see who is helping Allan (HERE) for phase IV (the exercise emphasis phase) of the Double Dog Dare You challenge series?! Talk about motivational ...

The new challenge begins after New Year's Day, so sign up while there are still slots available! This couch potato is excited to become a hot potato in 2011, that is, to become active in the new year!

12 DAYS OF SALADS

Day 9:

Spaghetti Salad

1 lb. whole wheat spaghetti*
1 sweet red pepper, diced
1 green pepper, diced
1 cucumber, seeded & diced
1 small zucchini, diced
1 tomato, diced
1 small Vidalia onion, diced

1 8-oz. bottle Italian-style dressing of your choice
2 TB grated parmesan cheese
1.5 tsp. sesame seeds
1.5 tsp. poppy seeds
1/2 tsp. paprika
1/4 tsp. celery seed

Cook spaghetti per package directions; drain. Rinse in cold water; drain. Place in large bowl.

Add all diced vegetables.

In a small bowl, combine remaining ingredients and pour over salad and toss to coat. Cover and refrigerate for a minimum of 2 hours. Serves 16.

*Note: Broken in half, with apologies to Italians everywhere.
_____________________________________

ADDENDUM: Dad is fighting sepsis, and is getting IV Vanco (a serious antibiotic) to help fight off the infection, which was the result of the infected port site.

Day 149: 24-Update Friday ( # 6 )

2010-12-17T09:59:00.001-05:00

Yes, it is once again time for 24-Update Friday, my biweekly attempt to squeeze into the like-new size-24 jeans, which have taunted me for years from the back of my closet. These jeans pre-date the new "relaxed fit" and revised sizing of today's jeans,.

So, for today's attempt ...

24-Update # 6:

The jeans had more than enough leg room (a good thing), and the waist now buttons easily, with just a minor sucking-in of the stomach. (Last time, it required MAJOR effort to get the pants buttoned.)

Today, it is solely the hips/abs area that causes the misfit. Everything else seems just fine. I only hope I didn't do damage to the zipper when I forced the issue last time! I'm hoping that in two weeks, I'll be able to easily zipper up the 24s !! Time will tell.

Anyway, the size-24 jeans are once again neatly folded and back in the drawer, awaiting the next biweekly attempt.

Join me again in two weeks to see how it goes.

Why is this salad (below) called "Yankee Doodle" Salad? It uses macaroni, of course!

12 DAYS OF SALADS
Day 8:

Yankee Doodle Salad

1 cup vinegar
1.5 cup sugar (or sugar substitute)
1 tsp. prepared mustard
0.5 tsp. salt
1 tsp. pepper
1 tsp. garlic powder (or garlic salt)

1 cucumber, chopped
1 onion, diced
1 green pepper, diced

1 (1-lb) box macaroni, cooked & drained

Combine pasta and vegetables in a 2-qt salad bowl. Mix all dressing ingredients (first set of ingredients) and pour over cooked pasta & veggie salad. Refrigerate overnight or longer (covered).

Note: Coat the pasta with a little of the salad dressing before you toss pasta with the vegetables, and then add remaining dressing mixture. The longer this salad marinates, the better the flavor.

_______________________________

Day 149 and getting ready to take those size 24 jeans to the alterations place for hemming!! (Inching closer to being able to actually wear them!)

ADDENDUM: Dad did not get his last treatment yesterday. His port developed an infection (under the bandages), and they have removed the device and are treating it. We're not sure (yet) what, if any, effect the delay will have on Dad's chances of success. They cannot give him the last treatment until the blood work comes back cleared of the infection, so likely after the holidays. While Dad is thrilled to have the port finally removed, he is a bit depressed that yet another glitch has been thrown into the mix.

Are You Leaving? (148)

2010-12-16T08:41:00.001-05:00

I stepped on the scale today, to see if the slight extra calories from that hot cocoa impacted my progress. The answer would be NO, and, in fact, I'm down more, so I am firmly in the Severe Obese category. I'm no longer teetering on the edge of Morbid Obesity.

I would like to be down to, at least, 237 by my mid-January doctor appointment - 10 lbs below morbid obesity. His nurse told me not to "worry" if I gained a few pounds by the next (January) appointment. The doctor never sees patient weights (voluntarily) go down at January appointments, from where they were earlier in the previous year, having gained weight over the holidays, etc. Won't they both be surprised? I weighed 271 at my October appt. hehehe

I would dearly love to have my other meds reduced, if not eliminated. I have already had the cholesterol medication discontinued! A reduction or elimination of medication is the surest sign that the body is improving in health, and recovering from years of poor eating habits. I am dieting, after all, primarily to improve my health! My eating habits are changing, and even my taste has shifted to a more healthy palatte.

Speaking of food ...

In the northern regions of Europe, traditional salads are not leafy or green, the way we think of them. They are usually more hardy vegetables, with vinegar or cream/mayo-based dressings.

I grew up with some of those Old World style salads, and one of my favorites is still red cabbage based. I love red cabbage braised, but this dish (below) is not the traditional red cabbage side vegetable. It is, instead, a traditional salad commonly found in old German Prussia (today, northern Germany and Poland). This is Grandma's simplified version.

12 Days of Salads

Day 7:

Grandma's Old World Red Cabbage Salad

half-pound red cabbage, grated
1 medium granny smith apple, cored and grated
salt, to taste
1/2 tsp. prepared horseradish
1 TB vinegar
1-2 TB oil
several hard boiled eggs (opt)

Toss all ingredients together, except eggs, until well blended. Peel and cut eggs into wedges, and garnish the cabbage with them (parsley too, if desired). Serves 4 (or Ann) hehehe

____________________________________________

Today is Dad's last cancer treatment. The infusion will be this afternoon. Then, they will remove the port next week, and that will be that. Dad is looking forward to the holidays without doctor and/or hospital visits. He has been a real trooper! xxox

According to the Spawn Challenge predictions, if I stick true to the plan I'm on, I could reach my goal weight by mid-June ... just in time for the likely family reunion! And here I was thinking I'd just be THRILLED to have the number one as a first digit. It tickles me to think I could actually pull off a healthy, normal range weight by then. It will be up to me to see how close I can get, right? Reunion photos, in particular, are forever (like wedding photos).

Tomorrow is the 24-Update report, where I see how close I'm coming to actually fitting into the old size 24 jeans I've had in the back of my closet for years. I try them on every other Friday, and note the progress I'm making, in an attempt to get back into them. They are like new, they've probably only been worn a few times, while on my way UP the scale. I hope to get more use out of them on the way down! I've talked to the alterations place. If I bring the jeans in tomorrow before noon, they can have them back to me by Tuesday or Wednesday. There is no rush, because I don't think I'll be in them comfortably until after the holidays, but it will be nice to have them ready for when that special day comes!

Gosh, the last weekend before Christmas is almost upon us! The month is flying by, just as November has. It will be a new year before we know it. Merry Christmas to all the bloggers who will be leaving us this weekend, until after the holidays! I'll probably be on another week, before taking off for Christmas/weekend, but I know quite a few are leaving today and tomorrow, for a hiatus of a week or two. To those, I'd like to say: Merry Christmas!! And a Happy and more successful New Year!!

Allan's 12 Days of Christmas

2010-12-15T19:45:00.003-05:00

Yes, I know he is Jewish. Work with me here.

Princess did a spoof to the tune 12 Days of Christmas about Allan's latest challenge in the Double Dog Dare You series. Fun! It was very cute, and I thought I would do my own version. So, here it is ... Ann's SPAWN SONG (last verse only):

ALLAN'S 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

On the 12th Day of Christmas, Allan gave to us:

Twelve morning emails

Eleven Band blog shout outs

Ten sample menus

Nine bathroom photos

Eight meal descriptions

Seven wife Sue mentions

Six weight loss graphics

FIVE GOLDEN RULES !!!!!

Four puppy pictures

Three medic helpers

Two interventions

And a date each of us will hit Goooaaallllll ...

Planning Ahead (147)

2010-12-15T10:38:00.000-05:00

It is time. I think I am going to take my old size-24 jeans to the alterations place, after Friday's attempt to try them on. I'm sure it won't fit yet, but I know they need hemming. I'm going to take them in, in anticipation of wearing them within the next 3-4 weeks. (Watch me not lose for the next month now. Ha!) The pants I'm now wearing are on the baggy side of comfortable, so it can't be much longer. Maybe by the new year?!!

We're expecting winter weather sometime this evening. We have a planned dinner out with friends tonight, but that may be put on hold. It all depends upon the approaching storm system. No one wants to drive in ice conditions. So, I'm not quite sure how to approach my lunch today. Normally, I (now) scale back lunch to allow for restaurant dining. I guess I should do that anyway. Then, if we eat at home, I have calories to play with, if I choose.

The couple we're supposed to dine with this evening is great fun! The husband was recently diagnosed with Type II Diabetes, and was instructed to lose weight. He has completely altered his diet, and is already down 35 lbs (in something like 2.5 months). He chose a low carb diet, and is really enjoying it. The hardest part for him has been to give up those carbs (he misses breads and fruits mostly). I'm eating a heart-healthy low fat diet, so we drool over what the other gets to eat. LOL I miss cheese.

I messed up late last night on my plan. I was feeling a little ... um ... "backed up" shall we say? I decided to have a small cup of hot chocolate to help move things along. That usually does the trick (and it did). But, I failed to account for the calories in the cocoa. I was already at 1172 for the day, so that late-night cocoa pushed me over my calories yesterday. I was still well below my goal calories (1595), but I've been diligent about working the 1200 calorie plan for this challenge. The goof won't cost me pounds, but it was a lesson to pay attention ALL THE WAY, even if it is late at night. If it goes past the teeth, it needs to be recorded, tired or not, right? So, that was another weakness I uncovered, that needs to be fixed. No excuses!

I'm in the "take no prisoners" mode of my journey. I'm not beating myself up, but nor am I giving myself a pass with excuses or rationalizations. Tired and constipated are explanations, but they don't get me off the hook (to myself). I'm taking the lesson from that, and making sure I pay more attention next time. Any hot liquid would've worked, so when I'm that close to calorie limits, I need to make better choices. Period.

On that note, I'm heading out to get errands done. Enjoy the afternoon! And smart choices to all!

12 Days of Salads

This easy salad has primary ingredients from vines, thus the name. It serves 12.

Day 6:

VINE SALAD

2 large shallots, minced
1/4 cup red wine vinegar
1 TB Dijon-style mustard
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil
1.5 lbs. thin green beans, trimmed
1/2 cup basil, finely shredded (use fresh basil only)
3 pints red, yellow and orange pear or plum tomatoes, halved lengthwise (can substitute halved cherry tomatoes)

In a medium bowl, cover shallots with vinegar and let marinate for 2-3 hours or overnight. Whisk ln mustard, salt and pepper. Gradually whisk in olive oil.

In large pot of boiling water, cook green beans until tender, but still firm to bite (this is approx. 2 minutes after the water returns to a boil, after adding the beans in.) Drain.

Rinse beans under cold water, and drain this well.

Stir basil into dressing.

In a bowl, toss the beans with half of the dressing. Arrange on a platter. Toss tomatoes with the other half of the dressing, and mound next to the beans.
____________________________________

Day 147 and compensating for last night's decision, which needed more effort behind it.

Practical Tips - 101: GOT TIP ?

2010-12-14T19:29:00.004-05:00

Okay, I've mentioned my ring came flying off - twice - this week. NOT cool. I've been trying to decide whether to resize just yet, when I read a comment by Princess , whose rings keep flying off in public bathrooms, whenever she washes her hands (which, by the way, I hope is EVERY time)! Hand-washing, that is, not ring-flying ... LOL

Anyway, her comment caused others to comment on their loose rings too. And I realize there is a need for some practical tips out here in Weight Loss Blogland. If YOU have a practical tip, please PLEASE post it in the commentary below!

When I said I was deciding whether to resize my ring just yet, it wasn't a question of whether I'd put up with a flying ring or not. I, of course, will make sure it is properly secure on my hand, regardless of whether it makes it in to a jeweler this month or not. How? Well, here is my practical tip:

I simply put a RING GUARD on it (sometimes called a "Sizing Ring Guard"). It is a little device that attaches to the underside / palmside of the band, and "sizes," temporarily, the ring to your finger. In fact, I decided to use that, since I am still losing weight, rather than go through the expense this time of year, of having it done permanently.

Ring guards are LESS than $10, and are largely undetectable to the casual observer. More importantly, it saves the ring from possible damage. They can be found almost anywhere, and can be used on any size ring. It beats tape or yarn!

So, to all the women who, like me, are finding their fingers a little less pudgy these days, save your rings and still enjoy them, by purchasing a simple ring guard. You'll be so glad you did!

Tip # 1: Use ring guards when rings become too loose to stay on the hand!

What other tips do you have? Share with the rest of us, because we don't (any of us) know it all ... and experience is a great teacher. Share yours and help your fellow weight loss bloggers!!

12 Days of Salad: Day 5

2010-12-14T18:27:00.003-05:00

You didn't think I'd forget to post today's salad, did you?

If you have a salad recipe you'd like to share, feel free to post in comments. The holidays don't have to be ALL about cookies, right?! So, here is a fruit-based salad that is sweet enough to be used as a dessert too - a double-duty recipe in time for the holidays, and a way to get more fruit into the diet..

12 DAYS OF SALADS

Day 5:

Winter Frozen Fruit Salad

1 can crushed pineapple, partially drained
2 large bananas, mashed
2 TB chopped cherries
1/2 cup chopped pecans
1/2 tsp. salt
3/4 cup sugar (or sugar substititue)
2 cups sour cream (or appropriate substitute)

Mix all ingredients except pecans. Let stand for a few minutes, then stir in the nuts. Pour into a 9 x 13 Pryex dish and freeze.

Remove from freezer 20-30 minutes before serving, to make it easier to cut.

TREMENDOUS MILESTONE - SO LONG, MORBID OBESITY !!!

2010-12-14T09:54:00.003-05:00

I DID IT !!!! I've left morbid obesity behind, FOREVER !!!!

This morning, I hopped on the scale, and discovered I weigh 247 lbs. That brings my BMI down to 39.9

I am officially no longer morbidly obese. Wow. It has been many, many, many years - too many.

What a year this has been, and most of it due to getting serious about my dietary requirements. Most of this came about just since the third week in July. On January 1st of this year, my BMI was 54.5 and I started the year weighing nearly 330 lbs. Today, December 14th, my BMI is 39.9 and I weigh 247. It is amazing what consistently applying good choices can do. Perseverence pays. On December 17th, it will have been one year exactly, since I reached my highest weight officially - for at that doctor appointment, the scale read 327 lbs. 327 lbs was 80 POUNDS AGO.

So, as of this morning, I am Severely Obese. Yes, still way too heavy and way too unhealthy, but improving.

Just by leaving morbid obesity, I significantly improved my health. That is the main reason for me doing this. I am aging, and I need to do a better job of being able to enjoy a retirement in relatively good health one day. Shoot, I just want to make it to retirement!

Morbid obesity means being twice as likely to die prematurely as someone of a healthy weight. Not great odds. Twice as likely to die prematurely. I don't want to die prematurely, never mind being twice as likely to do so.

I also, by leaving MO behind, have reduced my risk of developing deep vein thrombosis, gallbladder disease, heart issues, diminished immune responsiveness, impaired respiratory function, infections, back and joint pain, liver issues, pancreatitis, urinary incontinence and a whole host of other things, brought on (or made worse) by morbid obesity. Oh, and can't forget about type II diabetes either.

I'm improving my odds, with every pound I lose, and gaining a better life in the process. And so, with that in mind, I set my sights on my next (newest) mini-goal. I am looking forward to losing the next 17 lbs, bringing my weight down to 230.

I can't wait for Friday, and my next chance to try on the old size 24 jeans!

Onward and downward !!

Update - Monday

2010-12-13T16:42:00.000-05:00

Hubby is back home, resting comfortably. The opeation went well. Thank you for all your kind thoughts, prayers and emails !!

We'll know more tomorrow, at the surgeon follow-up visit, how well my husband is healing. For now, all looks good. We hope half his vision will have been restored, when the bandages come off.

We had an unplanned stop, on the way home, for some food. (Hubby was starving, not having eaten for about 16 hours.) Being an unanticipated stop, I had to make some healthy choices and do some quick calculations. I did well. My lunch calories came to 320. Excellent! It was a good test of how well I've been learning my lessons. Also, I have a taste for a bean burrito (no cheese) for dinner tonight, and I wanted to save some calories for that treat.

Someone also was kind to email and ask after Dad.

He is doing well. The last blood transfusion seemed to give him a much-needed boost to his energy!

His very last cancer treatment will be next week. Then, we enjoy Christmas and our time together, and basically wait to see what, if anything, happens. We are hoping, of course, the cancer will be put into remission, but it will be entirely in God's hands. (God's Will be done, right?)

There is, we're told, a 25% chance that the treatments will have had no affect whatsoever. Regardless, Dad fought hard and nothing more can be done, after next week's treatment. We'll just live the best life possible, either way, grateful for the time we have together, regardless of length.

That's it for the updates. Time to check on the newest patient! I'm reading (though not commenting much) blogs this afternoon. Lots of cold winter-weary bloggers today ... between th weather and Monday ... fun, fun, fun!

Another Day Closer to Christmas (145)

2010-12-13T07:59:00.000-05:00

Yes, I weighed myself this morning, as I will daily until I reach my mini-goal. And, yes, I am still morbidly obese, for at least another day. (sigh) And yes, I know I'm obsessing, but I've been looking forward to not being morbidly obese so much, you have no idea.

Under the "My Progress" tab (top of page), you will find the BMI chart for me. When I reach 247 pounds (my mini-goal), I will officially be classified at "Severely Obese" (a category that, for me, covers 217 lbs to 247 lbs). That means my BMI will have dropped below 40.0, the minimum threshhold for morbid obesity classification.

Severe obesity is classified as a BMI of 35 - 39.9. Still a long way to go, but making progress.

I'm reading a lot in Blogland about the duldrums. People are feeling discouraged or bored out there. We ALL go through those cycles. It isn't fun, is it? And the temptations out there, this time of year in particular, make it so much harder to stick to individual plans.

A new year, and fresh start, may be just around the corner, but remember too, that it will take extra time to undo whatever is done to the diet over these next few weeks. I am keeping that in mind, as we attend parties and social gatherings this season.

I think the DDD challenge series came along at exactly the right time, and I'm thankful for that, because this time of year has often killed my diet attempts before. I would get back on the ball in January, kicking myself. And those cookies and rich yummy things I enjoyed eating over the holidays?  Not even a strong memory by January 10th, but the pounds remained behind as evidence of yet another year of overindulgence.  I'm determined to not let that happen this year.

My other duldrum period usually hit in early spring (March/April). That has always been the other diet gaunlet for me. In that case, it wasn't the holiday food of the Thanksgiving-Christmas season, but rather, boredom. The "fresh start" mentality wanes by then, but I'm still too far from summer to feel the urgency of doing something.

I'm aware of those vulnerable spots in the calendar for me, and so I am actively seeking out extra motivations (as in this case, the DDD challenge series) to help motivate me through my own doldrums. I'm not sure what I'll do by March/April, but I will do SOMETHING. I get motivation from all sorts of sources, as I've often said before.  I'm not waiting until I start feeling the old familiar "diet ho-hum" ... I'm always looking for the next thing to propel me forward. I'm fighting myself, in essence. Honestly, some days it feels like I'm trying to entertain a 2 year old. Do you know what their attention span is like? LOL It is a full-time job these days, to stick with it. And this diet journey, for me, is more mental.  I'm my own worst enemy.

I've decided to give myself a year - 2011, essentially. One year, out of all these many years, I am dedicating to me, and this diet, in order to get to a healthier place. So, now, I think to myself, "it is only one year out of my life." Sometimes, I think "it is only one day" or "it is only one meal" (yes, it occasionally gets that tight).

I had an unbelievable loss of weight this last weigh-in. Those are numbers I normally see when I first start a diet (like the very first week). I KNOW this is not sustainable. But, it shows me that mixing it up, tightening my diet, applying a little more discipline than I have been, actually works. So, I'm going to keep this experience in the back of my mind. When the body slows, I need to change it up, keep it guessing, keep the body on its toes. That is, apparently, how my body works. I'm learning ... and that is what diets are, a learning process.

Self-analysis is important, but only if it leads to proactive changes - actions. Knowing what I should do, but not doing it, gets me nowhere. There are plenty of very nice people out there, who are full of amazing insights and revelations, but who don't actually do anything with that information, except talk about it. Or worse, rationalize and come up with all sorts of excuses - some even pretty good ones - for why they aren't doing something.  Heck, I'VE done that in diets past, so I recognize it right away when I see it, often when the blogger doesn't even realize it (yet). Keep in mind, most of us blog as a form of journaling. We do it for ourselves. I am supposed to learn something from this process. So ratinalizing and excusing is just, to me, simply lying to myself. How can I improve, if I can't be honest with myself, right?   It is one thing to try and fail, it is another to merely talk the talk, and risk nothing. So, when one thing doesn't work, I look for the whys, and try to do something about it.

I don't want to end up with a few years of journal blog entries, looking back and seeing the same exact struggles, repeated over and over again.  I realize it takes time, often, for a lesson to sink in, but I also want to know I attempted corrections (at minimu, that I at least tried and failed). So, to my friends, please don't hesitate to kindly call me on something, if you see a pattern I need to do something about, but haven't.  I really need to replace old bad habits with new patterns and healthier habits.

I'm giving myself a year, dedicated to my health.  I don't want to revisit this territory (morbid obesity) ever, ever, again.

The new water requirements for The Spawn challenge have been emailed, and it looks like mine stays the same. I am spending the morning at the hospital (hubby is having eye surgery this morning), so I will start the major portion of hydration this afternoon, rather than knock out a few liters this morning, as is my habit.  No problem.

12 Days of Salads

This is a fantastic summertime salad, light and refreshing! Easy to prepare. Even easier to eat! As with all recipes, play with this to meet your specific taste.

Day 4:

Classic Watermelon Salad

1 lb. seedless watermelon, peeled and diced into 1-inch cubes (roughly)
6 oz. feta cheese, diced smaller
1 lb. arugula, approximate
mint and parsley, chopped

1 TB seasame seeds, heated (dry) first, until aromatic
6 TB olive oil
1 TB water
1 tsp pomegranate syrup (opt)
1.5 TB lemon juice
1/2 tsp. superfine sugar
salt & pepper

Toss together the watermelon and feta, with arugula and herbs.

Separately, combine all remaining ingredients, except sesame seeds, using salt and pepper last to season dressing to taste. Drizzle over the salad, and arrange salad on plates. Lastly, sprinkle with the sesame seeds (use black seeds, rather than white, for a wonderful visual affect against the watermelon).    For a slightly healthier version:

Replace the feta cheese with a medium, diced red onion. And dress the salad, instead, with some unseasoned rice vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

________________________________________

Day 145, and thanks for all your inspiration and assistance on this weight loss journey. Blogland has made a difference to me, and I appreciate every single one of you. God bless ...

Looking Forward, With Confidence

2010-12-12T18:57:00.001-05:00

I just squeaked past 250 lbs. this weekend, and am confident in my ability to break through the morbid obesity floor soon. I confess, I am now (for the first time) going to weigh myself daily. I want to know the very day I kiss MO good-bye forever. It is a major, major milestone.

Looking forward, I set my next mini-goal at 230 lbs., which means I'll be focusing on losing the next 17 lbs.

There is no particular reason for picking that weight as my next goal. I wanted something other than a 30-lb target (this time), just to make it interesting, and 230 is a nice round number. The last time I weighed 230 was in 1990 - two decades ago.

_________________________

I received two awards, both of which can be found on my "Awards and Rewards" tab.

The first is "Cherry On Top" from a new follower, Kati - Thanks, Kati !!

The second is "Honest Scrap" from one of my favorite bloggers, Katie - Thanks, Katie !!

Honest Scrap includes a requirement to share 10 honest things about myself and pass it on. So here it goes:

1. I admire people with artistic talents.

2. I'm afraid I am going to lose another parent in 2011, realistically, but I try not to think about it, so I put on an optimistic front while praying for the best.

3. I have absolute confidence I will (finally) succeed at reaching my goal weight. That is, as long as I can avoid bus paths and meteorites.

4. I cry near the conclusion of Born Free.

5. I procrastinate more than I should.

6. I give everyone the benefit of a doubt, and I feel hurt when they don't reciprocate in kind.

7. I unabashedly love dogs.

8. I am not too crazy about flying these days, if my only choices are to have naked pictures taken of me, or be groped by strangers. I understand the need for security in the air, I do, but there isn't a better way? Seriously? Of course, I've been asking myself the same questions over mam'grams. Seriously, there isn't a better way? I don't see men's testicles put into vice grips. Hey, we put men on the moon, people.

9. My eyes now need readers. I know I should go and have them examined, but I'm putting it off, with the intention of going sometime in April.

10. I enjoy beaches, sunsets, warm rain, breezy summer days, still starry evenings, the scent of lilacs and the beauty of peonies, enthusiastic puppies, comfortable armchairs, good music, and even James Bond flicks. (Cue the music. You know the tune ...)

I'm to pass the Honest Scrap award along to someone. While there are MANY worthy bloggers, I'm giving it to Sheilah (aka Mensa), and to Princess Dieter ... both for being so open and honest in sharing their weight loss journeys - and taking responsibility, rather than making excuses or rationalizations! They are wonderful, and if you haven't visited their blogs, do so. You'll see it all, the good, bad and in-between!
__________________________

Things I've noticed today, just mentioning to record here in my journal for possible future reference. Look away for a minute:

My middle torso, which has always been firm (fat, but firm) is now squishy, like a soft pillow. What's with that?? Should that be happening? I've never (even in thin days) had a squishy torso.

My upper arms ... let's just say, flying squirrels have nothing on me. Guess it wasn't all muscle. Umpf. (Yes, I know it wasn't really muscle, sadly.) No surprises there. But here was one today ...

Can inner thighs sag? I'm watching that, because it looks like it may want to, and that would be SO not cool.

I'm hoping the skin recovers, much like lungs do, after someone quits smoking.

__________________________

I'm weighing in tomorrow, but won't post until I hit (or pass) that magic mini-goal number: 247 lbs.!!

Stay strong and follow your path ...

Day 144 - Weigh-in Results: 249

2010-12-12T01:35:00.001-05:00

It is official, for purposes of The Spawn challenge - Sunday weigh-in = 249 (see yesterday's post for details). I see a Kate Spade tote in my future! (See Rewards tab)

12 Days of Salads

This is a salad recipe from Austria (brought back by my husband, who lived there once upon a time). He kindly translated for me. Keep in mind, as with many older European recipes, things are made "to taste" and no (or few) specific measurements are given! Recipes are often "approximations" ... have fun with it. And remember, this is a salad - not soup!

Day 3:

Tiroler Lindensalat (Tirolean Lentil Salad)

30 dkg lentils, soaked overnight in cold water. Drain the water. Then, with fresh water, cover lentils to about a finger's thickness of water. Bring to a simmer over low heat. Add a small ham bone and salt.

Do NOT let the lentils overcook. You want them soft, but not falling apart. While still soft, but firm, take off heat and let the lentils cool in the water/pot.

Mix a part of the lentil juice with vinegar (add vinegar to taste, to acceptable sourness). The rest of the lentil juice should be drained from the lentils and disgarded. [presume, of course, the vinegar juice is then returned to the lentils, just enough to flavor the dish]

Mix drained lentils, a small bit of milled pepper, salt, sugar, finely cut onions and 20 dkg of lean roast, cut into small noodle-like pieces. [think "julienne" when doing this, then cut crosswise into smaller pieces]

Mix salad well, sprinkle with 3-4 TB oil and finely cut chives.

Serves 4. If using as a main dish, top with quartered hard boiled egg and serve with roasted potato slices.

Note for Americans: 1 dkg = 10 grams = 0.3527 ounces

_________________________________________________

More later ...

Day 143 - Just Hanging Around (143)

2010-12-11T07:44:00.005-05:00

Okay, actually, hanging around isn't quite accurate. I'm keeping busy around the house this morning. Plus, it will be another tirp to the hospital on Monday - this time for my husband, who is having some eye surgery. So, we have a lot of little things he needs to get done today. I'm the driver these days. Always better to have a fully sighted person to do the driving. Right? hehehe

Dad had another transfusion yesterday - just one unit this time. Plus, he was able to sleep at home last night. This was a very good thing.

Speaking of good things ...

I got on the scale several times to double, triple, check this. I even checked to see if the scale was properly calibrated (it was). But, yes, I weigh 249 this morning!

Holy cow, and I've only been on the challenge since Tuesday!

I've broken through the 250 mark! Another milestone, and a weight I haven't seen since 1997-98, and then, only briefly. I nearly fell off the scale. lol

I am a mere 2 lbs away from leaving morbid obesity, which will be yet another milestone - a big one at that. It was something I'd hope to reach by my mid-January doctor appointment, but now I'm looking forward to ending 2010 no longer morbidly obese.

My BMI is 40.2, with 40 being the bottom threshhold for morbid obesity.

Yes, I may actually get on the scale ahead of next Saturday. I want to know when I kiss MO adieu, a moment I am going to relish.

On my Lose-60-In-One-Year Challenge (the blue box on the ride sidebar is counting down the days remaining in that challenge), I'm more than two-thirds of the way there! And lots of time remaining to hit the target in that challenge. Awesome! My "Ann" signature includes the latest figures for that challenge.

If anyone has a salad recipe they want to share, feel free to add it to the comment section! I'm posting a wide variety of salad types. Today, a slaw-based salad. Next week? A wonderful watermelon salad, perhaps a jello salad, and who knows ... stay tuned!

12 Days of Salad

Day 2:

SLAW SALAD SUPREME

1 large cabbage
1 large onion
1 cup vinegar
1 tsp. dry mustard
1 cup sugar (or sugar substitute)
1 green pepper
1 tsp. celery seed
1/2 cup cooking oil
1 tsp. salt

Shred the cabbage, green pepper and onion. Toss with celebry seed. Place this mixture into a covered container, alternating layers of cabbage mixture with sugar.

Separately, combine vinegar, oil, mustard and salt. Bring this to a boil and then poor over the cabbage.

DO NOT STIR

Refrigerate this (covered) for a minimum of 5 hours before serving. It will keep, refrigerated, for a week.

____________________________________________

Day 143 and walking on air ...

12 Days of Salads (142)

2010-12-10T20:39:00.001-05:00

Okay, everyone knows December is prime time for all those cookie swaps, and the 12 days of cookies themes - all across the country.

Well, I'm doing my own version: The 12 Days of Salads

Care to add a yummy salad recipe?

I'll kick it off ...

Day 1:

Radish & Fennel Salad

Thinly slice about 1/2 lb of radishes. Julienne (finely) a few fennel bulbs. Toss these together in a large bowl , along with some chopped parsley.

Dressing: 2 parts lemon juice to 1 part olive oil, and salt & pepper to taste

Toss salad with dressing.

________________________________

Still going strong on The Spawn challenge ... I'm weighing in tomorrow. I know something has majorly changed, because today my ring fell off ... twice. On Monday, it fit normally and wouldn't even loosely turn, never mind slide right off my finger. And you saw (a few posts ago), how big the jeans are that "fit" me. They weren't that loose on Monday.

I've been doing "The Allen" version of the challenge, just to change things up. I've been strictly adhering to 1200 calories a day (nearly exactly) and drinking the max recommended fluid amount the challenged outlined for me. Most of that in the form of water, but also a few diet colas tossed in there (I happen to prefer diet Pepsi). The first few days were not the easiest, but I'm in the groove now.

So, I am expecting to add to the one-pound loss I already noted on Day 140 (my 5-month diet anniversary date). Tomorrow will tell me what exactly is going on with this plan. Should be interesting. Loose jeans (almost too big) and a ring I can't wear, after just 4 days? I'll post the weigh-in results tomorrow.

Enjoy the weekend, Everyone!

Day 142 and thinking good health, nutrition and hydration.

Ann's Official Dec 2010 Update PHOTO

2010-12-09T18:31:00.000-05:00

Everyone ready for a giggle? Here (below) is my latest and official update photo. It will be the last photo of me as a morbidly obese person. Thank you Anne, for all your help in getting those comparison photos formatted and labeled!

I'm calling this update photo: WORK IN PROGRESS.

I'm wearing the same shirt as in the Sept 30 update photo, only now it is so baggy, it was difficult to see ME through the fabric. Therefore, I duct taped the loose fabric on the back (unseen by the camera). This at least allows my figure to be seen somewhat. And even then, the fabric is still a bit loose across the stomach area.

The funny part (no, the duct taping wasn't it) ...

I'm wearing the ORIGINAL black jeans from the July 20, 2010 photo. And yes, the same jeans were worn in the Sept update photo as well. What is so funny about that? Well, now my waist is 9 inches smaller. It isn't easy holding up pants that are a good 3-4 sizes too big now. Check it out:

These pants were snug in late July, at 307 lbs. Hey, I'm still a big gal, but not nearly as big as I was over the July 4th holiday. This is what making one good choice at a time brought me. And I am thankful for Allan's challenges, which have taken me (so far) through the dreaded food holidays this fall. I can already tell something has changed on this third say of "The Spawn" challenge - can't wait to see what the scale reads on Saturday.

In this photo, I can start to see my old figure coming through. (It is still in there - somewhere!) I have a VERY long way to go, with two-thirds of my journey still in front of me, but I'll be ending this year in a very different place than where I started it.

So, I continue to tell myself to keep plugging along. Those small victories eventually turn into major changes. Never give up. And lose the "just one won't hurt me" attitude, where food is concerned. It is that mentality that brought me to 327 lbs last December. Shedding that attitude has now brought me to this. I'm a work in progress, but it is encouraging. If I can do it, trust me, anyone can.

Someone asked me what made the difference for me this time. Picking just one thing?

It would be this: I got my mind in the game, seriously in the game, and the results followed.

I've made my health a priority. It isn't the only priority, of course, but it is way up there in the priority rankings. I take inspiration from all those who are succeeding out here in the weight loss blogosphere too, sharing their stories, struggles and victories.

So, keep those old original weight pants! You'll get hit with the results of your efforts, by putting those on periodically, like nothing else will.

Onward and downward - yes, even through the holidays! We need to live like, and think like, the healthier people we want to become ... we are becoming.

Check This Out - current pants?

2010-12-09T12:29:00.002-05:00

I knew my current jeans were getting baggy, but check this out:

I was getting my second update photo taken, and realized two things:

1. These jeans have to be held up, and

2. This same shirt I wore for the first update photo is now so big, I don't know what to do with all this fabric

The photo was taken this afternoon. My weight is currently 255 (as of yesterday), so I'm within 8 lbs of leaving morbid obesity!

I'm going to have an entirely new outfit for the next update photo (update # 3) ... I'll be posting my official update photo soon, but I've added this (above) as my new profile photo. I don't notice much difference, mostly due to the volume of fabric, but for these few things:

The tummy is down significantly (well, duh ... look at the waist difference on this jeans that "fit" me), and the twins are sitting much higher -- what's with that? LOL

My arms have gone down in size too, but you can't really tell unless you look at how differently the sleeve fits. Look at the photo at the right sidebar, under the motivational word, and you can see it was tighter and riding higher. On this photo, above, it is too long and too baggy. The shirt hasn't changed. I have. I'm not filling that sleeve. Most of what you are seeing is simply hanging, like a drape.

Okay, and I'm also forced to admit, I need new clothes that fit me better. No surprise, big people like loose clothing, but this is getting a little ridiculous ...

Anyway, I wanted to get this posted, before I change out all the photos, for those who may be interested. I don't suspect many will be, but this blog is for me, and it is a good record of my progress.

Paying Attention

2010-12-09T09:11:00.001-05:00

Has anyone else noticed how many hidden calories are in things? Sheesh!

Now that I'm trying to keep my calories to 1200 per day, for this SSDDDY challenge, I am paying close attention to those counts.

For this morning's breakfast, I had a small low-fat yogurt and a small banana. What else? Nothing. That was it. I had water to drink, which is typical for me for breakfast. (I start with rehydrating myself.)

It doesn't sound like much - and it isn't. It was a tasty 275 calories though. And it broke the fast, tiding me over until snack time. The snack, in turn, will tide me over until lunch. The point is, I'm not stuffed full, but I'm not starving either. I'm eating healthy food to sustain my body, and am still working to lose the weight.

My tummy growled at me yesterday - a rarity. But I wasn't uncomfortable. Just about the time I felt I needed to eat something - it was time to eat something anyway. Gosh, that sounds like what healthy people do! Go figure ...

My stomach will probably grrowl at me again today, mid-morning. That is okay by me. In fact, it is sort of a novelty I enjoy. I look at each growl as my body's protest against a shrinking stomach. Too bad, so sad ... but I'm in charge now, so there!.

Is it working, this new restriction? I won't get on the scale again until my usual weigh-in day on Saturday. However, I noticed this morning that my pants were almost too baggy, and I was able to run to the bathroom and not even unzip them. I realized, of course, I must have grabbed a pair of pants frm a size ago, by accident. I obviously missed these in my "weeding out" of the closet, so it will be another pair of pants for charity. When I went to change them for pants that are actually my size, I was stunned to see these ARE my current size! How can something change that much, just overnight?! So, it should be an interesting scale reading on Saturday. (Yes, I'm going to wait.)

I'm paying attention now - to labels, to how I feel, to how things fit ...

Fast Five Months - 255 lbs.

2010-12-08T11:35:00.001-05:00

Today is a little anniversary - day number 140 of my diet.

I've been doing this for 20 weeks, or five full months! I cannot believe how quickly that time has flown by. It hardly seems possible that I've been dieting for five months already. And, at this point, it doesn't really even feel like "dieting" anymore, but more of just the way I eat (although I'm just starting the SSDDDY challenge, so maybe that feeling will change). Ha !!

Five months ago, I had 162 lbs left to lose.  Today, I need to lose 110 lbs., but I know I can do better, work harder, and put forth a more dedicated effort - especially now that I have the diet mastered. That, of course, means adding regular exercise. This is going to be my # 1 resolution this upcoming year - to support my efforts to get healthy, by adding regular exercise. This couch potato is determined to change her ways in that arena, just as I have been on changing my diet this year.

One hundred and ten pounds is still an intimidating number, but I take things in smaller increments (my mini-goals), and don't let the big numbers discourage me. I also set realistic goals for myself, and always look for new ways to keep myself motivated, because my journey will be a long one. I am constantly (as in, always) moving in a healthy direction. When I started my diet in late July, I figured it would take 24 months to get to goal, realistically. I may actually get to goal sooner (Dec. 31, 2011??), but only time will tell.

I try not to whine. Whine is not enjoyable, unless it comes with a little cheese. Besides, it took a long time and a lot of carelessness and laziness to get to be well over 300 lbs. It is just common sense that it will take effort and time to take the weight off now, and I have no one to blame but myself.  So, who wants to hear me whining at this point? (Don't knock each other over, running for the exits.) Meanwhile, life goes on ...

Last night, one of my closest girlfriends called, to announce her son is going to ask his girlfriend for her hand in marriage! (She'll say yes.) So, in addition to a probable family reunion next year, we'll also have a wedding to attend, closer to home. Cameras, everywhere ... SO, that is additional motivation for sticking to a healthy lifestyle plan, as if HEALTH alone wasn't a good enough reason.

I have all sorts of challenges and goals in place, to help move me along the path to improved health. And life's events have a way of cropping up too, as additional motivators. I use whatever I can to keep me focused and moving forward.

Today is the second day of The Spawn challenge. I am right on schedule, and realized it was time for a snack when I heard a very unfamiliar noise ... my tummy was actually GROWLING at me! The nerve ...

So, I hopped on my scale this morning, to officially record my 5-month weight. Drum roll please ...

December 17, 2009 = 327 lbs.
December 8, 2010 = 255 lbs.

Yes, I've lost a pound (already) since the weekend. I weighed twice, just to be sure. I've lost 72 lbs! And 52 of those pounds came off in just the last 5 months - when I got serious about losing weight and regaining my health. In the last five months, my measurements improved, my cholesterol medication has been completely eliminated, my blood sugar has fallen to normal levels, my energy has increased, and the list goes on and on and on.

I cannot WAIT for my next doctor's appointment (about 6 weeks from now) - I want to be under 247 - finally out of the morbid obesity category. And I want to see those numbers continue to improve! Dieting cannot bring up the HDL level, so that is another reason to add exercise (which can) ... I want to see an improved HDL level and BP level, by the January doctor appointment.

The insidious part of gaining weight, slowly over decades, is that it stealthily steals from us a host of things we don't even realize. We put those changes down to the aging process, perhaps, but it isn't entirely that, is it?

Time to take back my health.  I am in control, and my destiny is up to me entirely.

Day 140 and looking forward, moving downward, staying strong!

And This Goes, And This Goes, And This Goes ...

2010-12-07T15:16:00.000-05:00

I grabbed a pair of jeans today, and while I can wear them, I looked like a hobo, they were that baggy. They will be bound for charity this weekend. So, I grab the next pair ... too big. It goes into the donation pile too. And then I realize, these are jeans I just bought in September. They've hardly been worn, and now they are not usable. I went through a lot of clothes the last few days, and I'm getting rid of a lot of stuff.

My previous mentality would be to put them in the back of the closet, so when I gain weight again, I'll have something to wear.

Seriously, that is what I'd do.

Oh, and it worked in the lower direction too, which is why I had a like-new pair of size 24 jeans.

Well, my attitude has been adjusted. I'm not going back up the scale. I'm just not. So, these jeans are now going to be donated. I know someone will be grateful for them and will get a lot of use from them.

When I squeeze into the size 24s, finally, I will toss out the jeans I am now wearing. And I'm not buying more than two jeans in any particular size, as I lose weight. I'm not getting enough use out of them. NO COMPLAINTS, mind you, but my practical side is kicking in and saying "don't waste money." When I get into the size 24 jeans I own, I may buy one more, but that is it, until it is time to buy a few size 22s, and so forth.

I'm able to now wear an entire section of closet that was not available to me a few months ago. And I'm saying good-bye to some favorite articles of clothing, that are now waaaaaay too big. It is all good!

I am holding onto one pair of jeans though - my very favorite, well-worn, pair of black jeans, Old Blackie. They were not too big, or too small ... they were my go-to jeans 90% of the time.

And we all know how slimming black is - just check out my before photo. Ooooooo ... prrreeetttyyy ... just look how thin I look.

That is Old Blackie, there in my "before" photo. And I'm wearing them in my first update photo too, although I'm holding OB up (and out, to show the gap).

I am keeping Old Blackie. No - OB doesn't hold especially fond memories for me, but it IS a great gauge on how far I've come. And for THAT, they remain my favorite jeans, now of course, for an entirely different reason.

This is the first day of the SSDDDY Challenge. Good luck to all the participants! I think I read that Allan was keeping enrollment open through this afternoon after all, so he must have a lot of interested people. I seem to recall he'd have to limit the partipants to the first 100, so if you were thinking about trying it, better email Allan (blog: Here) and let him know right away. His email address can be located on his blog site. Remember, email him, don't post a request on his blog. He'll email your plan, and even recipes.

On this last challenge of 2010, I have a choice, to eat at my goal weight calories, or 1,200 calories per day. I have been eating at or near goal, so I decided to try 1,200 daily calories this time, to try something different and perhaps learn something new along the way. It is only until month's end - roughly three weeks.

My hydration goal is to drink 124 oz. of water a day (minimally), up to 146 oz. per day. I don't see this as a problem at all for me. I've become accostomed to proper hydration during the last challenge. Therefore, the challenge for me, this month, will be the lower caloric intake. Hey, if it was easy, it wouldn't be a "challenge."

If Allan's math is correct, I may actually fit into those size-24 jeans before year's end. That would REALLY be something! I know I'll follow the rules and not deviate, but let's see if my body will cooperate and lose the way the math predicts.

Well, it is all good. I'm on plan with this new challenge, and am looking forward to seeing the results of this challenge. Before we know it, New Year's Eve will be here! And I'm working hard to make 2011 the last year I carry extra weight.

Onward and downward ...

Remembering ...

2010-12-07T15:05:00.000-05:00

On this anniversary of the attack upon Pearl Harbor, I want to thank all our service men and women, past and present, for their dedication to serving this great country! We remember our honored dead on this day, but we also recognize the sacrifices made by all our service people, and their families, on our behalf.

God bless them all - but today, especially, bless those directly affected by the events of December 7, 1941 - a date which will live in infamy.

Waiting For The Spirit To Move Me Isn't Working (138)

2010-12-06T08:01:00.000-05:00

My word for today is concentration.  That is because I am often my own worst enemy. For instance, I'm feeling a little bored today. Oh, I have PLENTY to do, but I really don't feel like doing it.

Do you ever feel that way?

I want to DO something, but just don't know what that something is yet. It isn't a good feeling to have. And all the things I should be doing? Well, I want them to just magically get done, I suppose!   LOL

This feeling reminds me of the process I went through in July, when getting into the diet mode. I knew what I should do, and even how to go about doing it, but I just couldn't bring my mind around to making the effort.

I had to more or less force myself to get on the diet wagon (again) - despite myself.

And, of course, once I got into it, and told myself to suck-it-up and adjust my attitude, I started to change my life.

So, today I am battling the "I don't want to" attitude, about the many chores I have to get done today. I am using vacation days (today and tomorrow), so I BETTER use them wisely. I have lots of holiday decorating left to do, errands to run, hubby's gifts to wrap (that is, items I bought to give him for Christmas).  This is not the time to proscrastinate. It is time to concentrate!

I know that once I get into the day's chores and actually see something accomplished, I'll soon get over this mood I'm in. That is what happened in July, anyway. I wanted to lose weight, but I just didn't want to diet. LOL

THAT clearly wasn't working for me. Once I concentrated on the task, however, and weight started to come off, I finally got back into the right frame of mind.

So, when I need a break from the household decorating, I'll be popping in on Blogland, to read up on the blogger family. For now, it is time for breakfast. Then, of course, I need to stop with the excuses and start with today's wish list of chores to accomplish!

It is going to be one of those days ...

Day 138, and too lazy today, for my own good.

SSDDDY, Chocolate Brownies, No Dinner For Me

2010-12-05T22:01:00.000-05:00

A well-meaning, sweet, neighbor, dropped off a dozen lucious-looking homemade brownies today. SIGH

I love chocolate.

So, I thanked her for her kindness. The scent of the freshly prepared brownies filled the house. It was heavenly!

I've since split the brownies into two ziplock bags, so my husband is going to be a popular guy at the Monday morning meeting. The bags are in the frig and ready for him to take to work in the morning.

I've lived here SIX years, and this is the first time brownies were delivered, piping hot, to my front door. Figures, I'm on a diet ...

Interestingly, it triggered a need to snack. Oh, it was purely mental. Okay, and maybe a little hormonal too (coming up on that soon).

I ate some olives. Not quite chocolate brownies, but after a few, I was ready to swig some water and check out Blogland this evening.

Allan (blog: Almost Gastric Bypass) sent out a chart to all the people who signed up for the SSDDDY Challenge. I call the challenge "The Spawn" for short. It runs through December 31st, and will begin on Tuesday. People needed to send Allan an email before Monday (tomorrow), if they wanted to join. It looks like he has quite a list of participants. But people could still register through today, so perhaps the list will grow by day's end. Good luck to all who've joined this 3-week challenge!

I haven't decided (yet), if I'm going to stick with the 1,595 calories per day plan, or shoot for the Allan special (1,200 calories per day). The difference, if I'm reading his calculations correctly, is about 10 lbs (yes, TEN pounds) by January. It might be worth three weeks of 1,200 calories/day, to weigh 10 lbs less going into the new year. Hmmmm, maybe I've subconciously already decided - 1200 it is. I can do anything for three weeks.

Absolutely nothing appealed to me for dinner this evening. I made lentil soup for hubby, but I just had no taste for anything. I'm not hungry either, but know I should eat something. THAT is why I'm thinking hormones are at play here. I had a big lunch, but even so, I'm only at 1055 calories for the day, and I feel done for the day. I wonder if I can blame the scent of brownies ...

Day 136 - Weigh-in Results: 256 lbs.

2010-12-04T10:24:00.003-05:00

I've shifted my weigh-in days to Saturday. And I've lost 1 pound this past week, bringing me down to 256 lbs. My measurements have not changed from last week, but given a one-pound loss, I'm not surprised.

My BMI has dropped another few tenths of a point! I am getting SO CLOSE to that magic 39.9 number. Goodness, I officially have LESS than 1.5 points to go, to leave morbid obesity behind! Every ounce gets me closer to that huge milestone.

Now that I am a mere 9 pounds from this mini-goal, I am getting antsy to reach it. If I don't reach it by year's end, I hope it won't be long into the new year. It is probably a good thing, to be this close to a major milestone coming into the holidays. I won't have any problems focusing on the diet that way.

Speaking of focus, I am getting ready for The Spawn, better known as The Spawn of the Son of the Double Dog Dare You Challenge (henceforth to be known officially as SSDDDC, according to Allan, its creator). It is Phase III of a series of challenges Allan is coordinating. I think he is still taking sign-ups through tomorrow only, via email request. You can find that information on his blog: Almost Gastric Bypass

I am looking forward to it. I think it will be just the thing to get me through the last of the holidays, and to end the year on a good weight loss note. The momentum of starting a new year will carry me well into January, so signing up is just the thing to ensure the motivational aspects are taken care of for the next month or two. A person can join in at this phase, without having participated in either of the first two, so all are welcome.

There is no perfection here. I therefore look for support wherever I can get it.

The SSDDDC isn't the only challenge I am currently enjoying. I have knocked off 35 lbs. since starting the Lose-60-Pounds-In-One-Year Challenge. I have 25 lbs to go to meet that challenge, and the blue box (right sidebar) tells me how much time I have in order to reach this. I can pretty much get there, losing an average of roughly 3 lbs. a month now. It was an ambitious challenge, but it runs in the background, keeping me focused. (Thanks to Kathy, who created it!)

What was the last OFF plan thing I did? I took two bites of a mini eclair. It was done with purpose, not some random nibbling fest. But, IT STILL COUNTS. No freebies where diets are concerned. I have to take ownership of every bite that passes my teeth, whatever the reason, which means accepting the responsibility.

I am hosting a party tonight, and didn't want to tempt myself by baking. This required a store-bought dessert, and I settled on mini eclairs. However, I was not about to serve something I had no clue how it tasted, thus the two bites. It was good, but can't touch homemade. And those two bites? They cost me 60 (yes, SIXTY) calories! I won't go into the fat content, but hey, they are eclairs. So not worth derailing a diet over though ...

I won't be tempted by them tonight, that is for sure.

But, I count those two bites, and have to sacrifice those 60 calories from my meal plan today. To be honest, I'd rather have had an apple. And there is a perfect demonstration of how my tastes have changed. I didn't get the enjoyment out of the dessert treat that I once would have. Changes happen, even if we don't realize it. Enjoy the process!

Except for the plateau month (September), I've lost less weight this month than in any of the others. BUT, I lost weight - even through Thanskgiving - and continue to inch toward my goals. More importantly, I stuck to my dietary plan. So, why did I lose less weight, if I didn't deviate? Who knows. Maybe hormonal (TOM-related) things affected the results, or maybe my body is slowing down a little to adjust, or maybe I had too much salt hidden in something. It doesn't really matter. It all adjusts out in the end, and as long as I stick to eating healthy foods, moving, and being mindful of my caloric intake and hydration, I'll get there.

The scale isn't the only measurement that matters. It is just one tool in the arsenal, a guide to help me set or readjust the course. I lost one pound this week - movement in the direction of my choosing - zero inches from last Saturday ... no worries. My feel-good moment was squeezing (barely) into those size-24 jeans yesterday. THAT shows real progress from a mere two weeks ago. My point is that the clues to success shift. One week it will be the scale, another will be measurements, yet another may be how clothing fits (or no longer fits) ... I never EVER rely on one indicator, like the scale, to tell me how I'm doing. Progress rarely shows itself consistently, and by the same indicator, but it is progress nonetheless.

And here is an NSV for today: I wanted to finish a task I was doing, despite my bladder making some rather urgent demands. I was able to complete my task, but it was a mad dash to the nearest bathroom. Not having a second to spare, I dropped the jeans and all was well ...

It wasn't until I was washing my hands that I realized ... I just dropped my jeans, AND pulled them up again, without ever touching the button or zippers. Holy cow! LOL And just like that, another measurement tool dropped in my lap.

So, day 136, and I am holding steadfast to my low-fat diet plan ...

Day 135: 24-Update Friday (# 5)

2010-12-03T01:55:00.000-05:00

Yes, it is once again time for 24-Update Friday, my biweekly attempt to squeeze into the like-new size-24 jeans, which have taunted me for years from the back of my closet.

Here is a link to the beginning, as it turned out, of the 24-Update: The Very First Attempt

Yes, I was literally afraid (and almost at the point) I'd have to call someone to help cut me out of them. Pretty funny stuff, looking back on it. At the time, however, I was more than a little worried.

On my most recent attempt, as you may recall, I was able to actually get the zipper 1/4 of the way up. The botton and button hole still had a 2.5" gap to master, before meeting. I was able to get the very edges of the wasitband material to touch (barely) if I sucked in my abs - well, where abs should be anyway.

So, for today's attempt ...

24-Update # 5: Progress!

By now, it is no surprise that I have plenty of leg room, so I get the jeans up the legs with no "second skin" issues. These days, it is all about navigating the jeans over the hips and mid-section.

So, here is the milestone moment for today. I ZIPPED & BUTTONED THE JEANS !!!

Okay, I couldn't breathe, and had to do a LOT of sucking it up. I struggled for several minutes, but I did it. I couldn't bend, or move, but it was progress! The jeans were like a second skin, of course - a really TIGHT second skin. My biggest fear was for the middle of the zipper ... it looked like it was going to split, the material was pulled so tight through that area. And the second biggest fear was that the button would fling off and knock a hole in the facing wall if I coughed or inhaled. Well, that, and I may have squeezed some internal organs too hard ...

The zippered/buttoned moment lasted 30 seconds, folks. I couldn't walk, breathe or bend, but two weeks ago I couldn't push it even half that far.

I am still a long way from wearing them - in private, never mind public - but for a brief shining 30 seconds, I was elated.

I had to unzip them carefully, so the zipper wouldn't split, and then (literally) peel the jeans down to the legs. You know, when I first tried them on, I weighed 279. I theorized I'd need to lose 22 or 23 lbs before I could wear them. Well, I'm 257 as of my last weigh-in - 22 lbs. down. Clearly, my estimates were way off. LOL I think I'll need to be closer to 245 lbs before I could truly wear these. I failed to take into account two things about these ancient size-24 jeans: 1. they were manufactured before the modern stretchy/comfortable jean material was invented, and 2. they don't have elastic - anywhere. There may actually be a third reason, but that would be conjecture on my part. Perhaps, over the last 10-15 years, manufacturers have been more generous in their cuts/sizing - and these ancient jeans were more ridigly sized, in keeping with the era in which they were created. (Yes, the infamous size-24 jeans are OLDER than 15 years.)

Anyway, the size-24 jeans are once again neatly folded and back in the drawer, awaiting the next biweekly attempt.

Join me again in two weeks to see how it goes.

I have to admit, I won't take it quite as far again next week, if the material still appears as tight. I really pushed the boundaries this morning, and risked the garment in the process. I don't want to have saved the jeans all these years, just to split the fabric or break the zipper, rendering the jeans useless. (Thus, the mere 30-second "summit" moment.) With luck and persistent hard work, I hope to make the jeans wearable - at least in private - by Valentine's Day. Yes, today's attempt has given me an idea of when they may actually be wearable. They have to fit right, however, before I'd wear them in public. That will be a little further out, I'm sure.

Now I have to go and stretch out a little bit. I think I squeezed the internal organs a bit too much. Can one bruise a spleen?

Happy Friday!

Scary Situation

2010-12-02T11:13:00.000-05:00

I wasn't going to post this, because it just highlights how stupid I can be, but scary stuff happens ...

My husband's pager went off at 4:30 a.m. today, so off to the shower he went, to begin his day. However, for me, it is still an hour before I have to get up, so I'm laying there, trying to fall back to sleep. His pager goes off - again.

Now I'm awake.

Well, I roll over onto my back and sort of brace myself to begin the day. At that moment, I realize I have an itch, just under my waistband on the right side. I slide my hand down to scratch it ... and feel a lump! Now, if THAT doesn't wake you up, nothing will.

So, now I'm completely concentrating on this lump that wasn't there before. I'm rubbing it, poking it, trying to move it ... does it hurt? No. Is that a good sign or a bad sign? Can it move?

I spent no less than five minutes, messaging this mysterious lump, and trying to figure out when to squeeze in a doctor appointment to have it examined.

I'm still on my back at this point. Then, I begin to wonder how big is this thing. I figure I'll compare it to the left "lumpless" side. I slide my left hand down to the symmetrically similar location ...

And discover IT has a lump too!! What the heck?! So, now I'm rubbing both lumps, contrasting and comparing. Neither hurts, neither moves ... and hey, they are exactly the same size and symmetrically located.

W a i t a m i n u t e ...

Oh, for Pete's sake. They are BONES. I'm laying on my back, and at 4:30 this morning, my hip bones decided to reemerge for the first time in probably 10-12 years. Sheesh! And yes, I felt like a complete idiot. LOL

On the plus side, I've apparently lost enough fat off those areas that, as long as I'm on my back, the bones can actually be felt. Glad to know they are still in there somewhere. LOL

I thought everyone could use a good laugh this morning. I'm an idiot.

Serious Stuff

2010-12-02T07:09:00.002-05:00

People sometimes don't pay attention to the important stuff. That often forgotten measure of health, the BMI, is important, and I always list my current BMI in the right sidebar. I do so for a reason.

My current mini-goal is to get my weight down to 247. That was not a random number. I based that goal entirely on BMI. At 247 lbs, my BMI will drop below 40. My goal is to leave Morbid Obesity behind, and at 39.9, I will be "merely" Severely Obese. Semantics? Hardly.

They call it MORBID Obesity for a reason.

My 327-pound frame had a BMI of 54.5 on December 17th, 2009. That means I was carrying around 178.215 pounds of fat. THAT is like me giving a piggyback ride, every moment of the day, to another fully grown big-boned adult. Insane. And ignorant (or arrogant), to not even consider that my heart and joints were not designed to do the work of two full adults. One heart per person at a time - that's the rule. I'm making mine do the work of two people, and have been demanding this of it for DECADES. All the while, my most important organ is aging and thus, becoming less efficient. This is not a recipe for good things to come.

This week, my BMI is 41.5, or 106.655 pounds of fat. It is still another person, but a much lighter one.

Interestingly, WebMD Health News had an article yesterday (by Daniel J. DeNoon) that addressed the risks of carrying around excess pounds. It highlighted a study funded by the National Institutes of Health, which apparently found risk of death "goes up 31% with every 5-point increase in BMI ..."

My BMI is in the morbid obesity range (BMI of 40+) right now. That means, even now, I have increased my death risk by 251%. Dropping OUT of the morbid obesity category - getting my BMI down to 39.9 - means my increased death risk will "only" be 88%. That is significant. According to the article, "those figures are for women who do not smoke and who have no underlying disease. The risks are similar for men ..."

The safest BMI range? Not suprising, mortality was "generally lowest within the BMI range of 20.0 to 24.9." (This, according to someone at the National Institutes of Health.) It turns out, being underweight may also increase death risk, so the healthy range is - well - healthiest.

I'm in my late 40s now. And, according to the article, the measure of BMI prior to age 50 had the strongest effect on death risk. This means, the sooner I get things under control, the better my chances of long term survival. I admit, I don't like to think about my demise. I feel (falsely, surely) that "those things" happen to other people. The problem is, those who've passed away from weight-related ailments probably felt the same way, or that they'd get some sort of warning before things became irreversible, so they'd have time to fix it. The reality is, that doesn't happen for everyone, or even the majority.

How about this for an eye-opener? The article states, "The strong statistical significance of the findings suggest that an earlier study of the impact of obesity on death risk - which was scary enough - may have underestimated the problem."

Here is the study/article link. Keep in mind, this study was done using people who reported no underlying medical issues - the "healthy" obese. I had cholesterol issues. I currently (still) have blood pressure issues and blood sugar issues. I can presume, therefore, that my own death risk is even greater.

Sobering thought.

I don't know about anyone else, but I have a LOT to live for, and people who rely on me.

So, this is serious stuff. I am working hard to reach my current mini-goal of 247 lbs. I'm 10 lbs away from that, and from leaving the morbid obesity category behind. Underlying medical issues aside, dropping my risk from 251% down to 88% is amazing! And I'm almost there. This is a major goal for me (one of the reasons I'm making my "reward" for reaching it a major carrot, in a manner of speaking).

Since starting this diet in late July, I've managed to drop my BMI by 8.1 points. And, since December 17, 2009, I've dropped a full 13 (yes, thirteen) points on my BMI. Those little drops in weight add up, and make me stronger statistically - because I get stronger medically. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I can see light through the trees now.

I pay close attention to my BMI these days. There are free BMI calculators all over the Internet. It is a measurement based on height and weight. And everyone should know their current BMI.

Do you know yours?

I'm making this day BMI Thursday.

My BMI today: 41.5

BIG Anniversary, BIG results - Death By Food (133)

2010-12-01T11:15:00.002-05:00

Warm December greetings, Everyone! I have an important anniversary coming up in a few weeks. On Thursday, December 17, 2009, my doctor informed me I weighed (officially) 327 lbs. It was my maximum weight, according to the doctor's scale. Of course, on my home scale, I ultimately reached 330 lbs ...

What a difference a year makes!

Right now, this very minute, I weigh 70 lbs LESS than I did on December 17, 2009. That would be 257 lbs, for those mathematically challenged. I cannot wait to see what my weight will be on December 17th, a little over two weeks from now. Most of the weight loss (50 lbs) has occurred since officially starting my diet in late July.

This is day 133 for me. This year has had its ups and downs, like every year, but healthwise, it was good. I've had 133 days of (finally) being thoughtful in how I cared for myself. Next year, healthwise at least, it will be AWESOME. I'm getting better at it, with more practice. The decisions and sacrifices come easier. The temptations are weaker and fewer in number. Habits are changing, new (better) ones are forming.

Three months into my diet, and my doctor pulled me completely off my cholesterol medication! Now, 4.5 months into it, I sleep better. I move easier. I breathe easier. My knee doesn't complain very often anymore. I don't have to hold my breath, just to tie my shoes. Heck, I can easily bend TO tie my shoes! I have infinitely more clothing options. I enjoy more stamina ... the list is endless. And it only gets better and better. The hardest part, actually, was getting my mind into gear to actually start doing something.

I could kick myself for not doing this sooner, but why? I'm doing it now, and it does me no good to beat myself up for the past. What matters is today. I can make a difference today. And each day, I choose to make a difference. Some days, the changes are large and obvious. Other days, I don't notice a thing, but I know I did my best that day. And those tiny little changes DO add up, over time.

Well, we made it through another year. It is hard to believe, we have a mere 31 days left, before greeting 2011. And I'm going to make these last 31 days of 2010 count! It gets easier on January first (every year), because the world - it seems - jumps on the diet bandwagon. Tips and stories and products and discounts are everywhere. Everyone wants to join the gym in January. It isn't so easy in December, with the treats and rich food and crazy schedules ... the "well, I can always start anew on January 1st" attitudes ... MY attitude, in years' past.

Not this year!

I don't know what the scale will read on December 17th (two weeks from Friday), but it will be a far different number than it was last year. It took work, but the hardest part, actually, has been overcoming ME and my own tendencies to "treat" myself at every whim, or to try something unhealthy, "just this once."

Persistence pays - ALWAYS.

I persistently made bad choices, and I got to 327 lbs. Now, persistently making good choices, I hope to get to 145 lbs. It has been many decades since I've seen that number, but maybe the scale will have a pleasant surprise on December 17, 2011. Time will tell, but I'm making no excuses, and I'm done being "kind" to myself, to the point of slowly killing myself - death by food.

Too much of a good thing is never good.

So, December is going to be my "big push" month. I want to end 2010 with the best health possible. As Patrick said in his post today (Blog: Responsibility 199), let's end the year strong! I'm there, and the push is on, starting today - December 1st.

Day 133 (one-third of a year!!) ... ready to tackle December, and end this year with the best possible achievements?

Seeking NSVs & Tuesday Meanderings

2010-11-30T16:25:00.000-05:00

Where did November go?! Was that not a FAST month?
I was not properly (fully) hydrated this morning. I needed to make several (long) round trips to the airport this morning, AND it is raining ... so, I'll just up my water intake this afternoon, while I am close to a bathroom.

I didn't get the "WOW" response I was hoping for, from any of our guests, but perhaps they were just being polite. I know it is harder to detect weight loss from us big people, but you'd think at least one would comment - I've lost 50 lbs., after all (70, from last December). Then again, I show every pound, so maybe the loss isn't that obvious to those who don't get to see me that often.

I, however, WILL say "WOW" -- I've been catching up on today's blogs and you guys ROCK! The runners I follow are doing an awesome job - whether beginning or already a seasoned runner. It is inspirational, but I have to ask them .... how do you plaster the girls down? I wouldn't want to try running, and risk getting knocked out by one of the bouncing twins. When you are busty enough, even a perfectly fitted under garment isn't adequate for a jog/run, if you know what I mean. Now, I'm not saying I would actually run, but I am definitely not saying "definitely not" to running. (Did I just confuse everyone? That made sense to me, which is actually a little scary.)

I'm doing well on the SDDDY Challenge, but I don't think I'll be carrying a new Kate Spade Anabel Tote this Christmas as I had hoped, with 10 lbs left to lose to reach that goal reward. Christmas is less than a month away (already!!) but maybe by New Year's ... I'm going to give it my best effort anyway! I've been working hard toward my goal, and am just tickled that I made it through Thanksgiving with a loss for the week! I don't worry half so much about Christmas, as those meals don't hold the temptations that Thanksgiving always has.

Friday is the 24-Update Day, and I wonder if I'll notice much change from the previous update. It would be such a treat to fit into those size 24 jeans in January, or at least by Valentine's Day. The jeans continue to taunt me, but not nearly as loudly as they used to!!

Okay, here is my NSV for today. One of the guests located a bag of Gharidelli caramel chocolates in my pantry ... and it still had ALL of its individually wrapped chocolates in it! The bag isn't actually that old. It was a "hostess gift" to me about three weeks ago. The NSV is that chocolate has lasted in my house for three weeks - and would still be there, if not for the guests. (I was happy to dump the chocolates into a dish for their nibbling pleasure.) I knew the chocolate was there, and didn't go for a single piece, despite my recent chocolate craving. I was going to put them out for the dinner guests this weekend, but the chocolate is just as gone now, having been eaten by my Thanksgiving weeklong house guests.

You have to understand, chocolate - in any form - has never lasted long in my house. If it is in here, I eat on it until it is gone ... or at least I USED to, but clearly not anymore! Broke that habit. NSV!!

What NSV did you have, in the past seven days? I missed reading those, so please share in the comments section!

Updated Measurements

2010-11-29T22:40:00.000-05:00

I finally found a private moment to update those measurements. I always complain that my hips don't seem to shrink much, but wow ... those little bits, lost here and there, really do add up eventually. I've lost 7" (albeit slowly) from the hips - total - and 8" off my waist.

I'll be back into my normal routine on Wednesday, and am looking forward to visiting and catching up on all the blogs. Thank you to all who've left comments, well wishes and thoughts of support and encouragement!

I gave Anne fair warning that I'll be needing her help in posting an updated photo, when I reach this next goal (10 lbs from now). I so appreciate her expertise ...

I got in some more walking yesterday, but nothing today, unfortunately. I've been playing tourist guide, and today was a lot of driving. For those within driving distance of the NC mountains, the company LOVED the views from atop Chimney Rock. Pretty views from Lake Lure too, looking up the Gorge. I love taking people up there for the first time. Fun reactions!

Today, I had a very strong craving for something sweet ... I mean a STRONG craving .. chocolate would be nice. LOL No, I didn't act on it, but I thought about it mightily for a while there. Sometimes, dieting is not as much fun as other times ... and this is what prompted me to take updated measurements today. Helped to knock that craving right out of my head. I don't want to add ANYTHING back to the hips. LOL

Ah, the guests are walking back inside, so I need to sign off. Just wanted to update those measurements before I forgot (or was lured by thoughts of chocolate). Hey, whatever works, right? :D

Shrinking!

50 Pound Milestone !! Day 129 - Weigh-in Results: 257 lbs.

2010-11-27T16:36:00.000-05:00

I am posting my weigh-in results a day early - Church tomorrow is followed by some necessary tasks for Dad, and then the entertainment of guests.

So, this week I'm down 2 lbs. I have officially lost 50 lbs. since July 20th and am just 10 lbs from my next goal, and from leaving morbid obesity! Very exciting!! My BMI is down to 41.5 and I hope to start the new year very close to 40.0 ... we'll see.

I think it is amazing to reach 50 lbs lost, just days after Thanksgiving. I am truly thankful! Today, I weigh 70 lbs less than I did in December 2009 - almost a year ago.

Speaking of "year," I have updated my 60-lbs-in-one-year challenge (see my signature). The blue box on the right sidebar tells how many days remain in the challenge. So far, so good!

Everything has been updated, except my measurements. I will have to do those on Wednesday, when I have enough time to myself.

Anne wondered if I was taking care of myself. I need more sleep - a lot more sleep - but yes (Anne), I am staying hydrated, eating properly, and even squeezing in some exercise. I could probably do better, but everything considered, I am doing okay.

I can't let life's little dramas become cause for me to make excuses. Part of the transformation to good health is to learn to weather all sorts of things, without using that as reason to deviate from what the body requires. Someone emailed me earlier this week and said, kindly, that I had "such a great attitude." Thank you for that! But, I've learned (the hard way) that a positive attitude means nothing without positive action! (Good intentions and all that - right?)

Persistence means more than perfection (who is perfect, after all) and mere positive attitude. If postive attitude counted for much, I'd have been a size 2 twenty years ago. hahaha

Staying postive, proactive, and persistent ...

Post Thanksgiving Black Friday

2010-11-26T16:54:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. The most dreaded day for dieters is behind us now, and it wasn't so bad, was it? I was pleasantly surprised, reading up on the blogs, at how many did well - enjoyed their meals and stayed, or got right back, on plan. Well done!

Today's motivation word is FOCUS (or Refocus, for those who deviated from their plans during Thanksgiving Day). It is very easy to become distracted from the background priorities, by the tasks at hand.

Dad enjoyed his day yesterday, thoroughly, as did our guests - so it was a wonderful day for all. He has one more treatment to undergo (in mid-December) and then it is entirely out of the hands of the doctors, who've been wonderful. Whatever next year brings, we have a wonderful Thanksgiving to add to our memories this year.

As for our Thanksgiving meal, I had a little bit of everything, but no seconds on a single thing. I even left some food on the plate. I was very pleased that I walked away feeling satisfied, but not stuffed. I did some walking each of the last three days too, so I'm comfortably confident there will be (at least) no weight gain for me this week, when I weigh in on Sunday. No small feat, given the limited selections available to me at the hospital - and given the crazy hours I've been keeping. It can be done!   Dad is home again. He should be back to normal energy by mid-week ... he gets a bit wiped out, between the pain meds and cancer treatment. All is good there now too, for now. Thank you all for the prayers and well wishes. They were very much appreciated.

I can't possibly comment on everyone's blogs, but I've been reading quite a bit this afternoon. I anticipate things will return to a normal schedule by Tuesday - after I take the last of our guests to the airport. I just wanted to say how proud and pleased I am of everyone here in Blogland. No one (really) went too insane in their eating - though a few of you feel like you did. Everyone seemed to survive just fine, and now the main thing is to get back on track (if deviated from it).

For those folks, don't forget that tomorrow is SATURDAY STARTOVER. No matter what you've done, no excuses, back on your plans!

Sharon, I thought of you yesterday - spending the first Thanksgiving without your beloved FIL. I know you took comfort in each other's company though. Those "first" holidays are tough ones. I know, having been through that with Mom's recent passing.  There is comfort in traditions too - our link with those who have gone before us.

No Black Friday shopping for me. I avoid crowds like those ... I like Allan's "Couch Friday" approach instead.  But, for all of you BF shoppers out there, best of luck in finding those deals!

Day 128 and glad to have the Thanksgiving Feast behind me, while not adding to my behind this year ...

Holiday Wishes

2010-11-23T09:30:00.000-05:00

I forgot to note that I have passed the halfway mark in the 60-lb weight loss challenge. This is a wonderful milestone. The blue box (right sidebar) indicates how many days are left in the 365 day challenge.

Dad had his second-to-last cancer treatment yesterday. It was a very long day. After the last treatment, we just wait and pray.

Dad is pretty weak/tired today. He is a very ill fellow. Therefore, I won't be able to spend any time online the remainder of this week, but wanted to say I will post measurement updates next week. I haven't forgotten, just had no time - between hospital and company. We've shifted gears and are going out to eat this year - huge departure for us.

Dad hasn't done as well this go-around, so I can't be home to cook this year. I'm spending most of my days at the hospital. But, as far as Thanksgiving is concerned, I'll load up on water and veggies - enjoy a little turkey and stuffing - skip dessert ... it is what has to be done when dieting, right? It is all about priorities. Dad and diet ... how 'bout that?

:D

Happy Thanksgiving to all !! I look forward to catching up on everyone's blogs - and to reading all those SUCCESS STORIES of Thanksgiving Day. It is a meal. The loved ones, with whom we spend our day of thanksgiving, really matter.

Enjoy yourselves, be thankful for the many blessings we enjoy, and luxuriate in our healthy (sane) eating!!

Day 124 - Weigh-in Results: 259 lbs.

2010-11-21T17:24:00.001-05:00

I recorded a 3 lb. loss this week, bringing me out of the 260s, and into the 250s. I now weigh 259 lbs.

I will update measurements and all the rest, later in the week, when I have more time. I just wanted to be sure to update the weigh-in.

BMI is now into the 41s!! 41.8 to be exact.

See previous post comments for other details.

It Is Friday, So Time For The 24-Update

2010-11-19T09:20:00.000-05:00

Yes, two weeks have gone by already! It is once again time for the 24-Update, where I try on my old size 24 jeans - the ones that have been taunting me forever.

Here is the link to my first attempt:

http://annssmalljourney.blogspot.com/2010/10/how-do-i-get-myself-into-these.html

24-Update # 4:

PLENTY of leg room this time around, but the tummy is still in the way.

I can get the zipper up about 1/4 of the way though - so, progress!

The button and button hole still have about 2.5" to go, to meet together, but the gap is shrinking. I can get the edges of the waistband fabric to touch (barely), if I suck in my abs. Not comfortable, not buttoned, definitely not zipped, but getting closer every (other) week.

These size 24 jeans are very light colored tan - great for summertime - but I'm going to where them WHENEVER they first fit me, I don't care if it is winter! For now, I have tucked them back into the drawer, to await the next biweekly attempt to try them on.

So ends this 24-Update!

In other news, Dad needs a transfusion, so that is on the agenda for later today. It is going to be a long day ...

Enjoy your weekend! And thanks to those who are remembering my father in their prayers! It is appreciated so very much ...

More later (?) ...

Here's to Good Health

2010-11-18T08:18:00.001-05:00

When we make something (truly) a priority, it gets done. So, how high on my list of priorities have I made my own health? For many, many years (decades, really), it has not been. My priority was indulging my taste buds and - apparently - every food whim that ever crossed my mind.

That has finally changed, and I hope not too late.  I'm a LOT healthier than I was in July, but I still have a very, very long way to go.  Right now, I want to see the 250s. I want to say good-bye to the 260s for the last time. And when I get to 259, all my focus is going to shift to the magic mini-goal number: 247. No more "morbid" obesity! So many people would be mortified to learn my priority (right now) is to become "Severely Obese" ... but it is! I'm on my way down, and that is the next big downward goal to improved health. Crazy, isn't it? And I have no one to blame but myself, for my lack of properly prioritizing.

I'm an expert at taking care of others, but I've neglected myself in the process. Very short-sighted of me. And ignoring the problem doesn't make it magically go away either (tried that, didn't work).

So, I have reset my priorities. And, much to my surprise, it is working!  So, every morning, I ask myself, "What are my priorities today?"   And my health is always at the top these days, along with one or two other priorities. No matter what I am put through, or what stress faces me, I will not do something that harms my wellness or undermines my ability to regain good health. It is all about priorities!

Well, my ability to post every day will be thready, at best, over the next 7-10 days. A house full of guests aside, Dad's been struggling, and the doctors told us yesterday he will need a transfusion. I think my husband and I will be doing double-duty - he'll entertain the guests, and I'll be with Dad in the hospital. I'm not sure when they'll schedule this (yet), but it will likely be sometime early next week (prior to the holiday).

Dad is also due for another round of treatment at that time, so we'll see how the medical staff will handle that, and just go with the flow. Dad is getting tired of the doctor appointments, lab tests, scans and hospitalizations - understandably. It is not very easy going through this.  I can't imagine how draining this is on him. Poor guy ...

The transfusion should give Dad back some energy, and that is a very good thing.  He has two remaining treatments left, and then we wait. We're hoping this will take care of the cancer, but if not, the doctors have told us there are no further remedies to try.

This Thanksgiving, we are just grateful to have Dad with us for another family tradition, and another opportunity to add to our precious memories.

SDDDY10 Update:

Wow ... 10 days already! One-third of the way through the challenge.

Calories today, so far: 0

Water today, so far: 0

Day 121 of my diet, still doing well but feeling a bit stressed. I'm thinking about how I'm going to pull off the next week - preparing the house for week-long guests, and preparing a traditional Thanksgiving meal for 12, while at the hospital. LOL Thank goodness we women are adept at multi-tasking! Now, if I could only clone myself ...

In the end, it is about the priorities for the next 7-10 days, and Dad is it. When we keep our most important goals in mind, the rest falls into place.

Here's to good health - mine, Dad's, and yours!

Another One Made It !!

2010-11-17T08:35:00.002-05:00

This is day 120 of my diet, and through ups and downs, and even a dreaded plateau, I've kept my enthusiasm. Some days are easier than others, I won't lie, but I remain focused and committed. I refuse to allow anything to seep into my mind that will be detrimental to accomplishing my goal. Good health is worth fighting for, and sacrificing for, and celebrating!

Sean, a fellow-blogger, hit his goal weight this week. It is a victory for all of us, when one of our own manages to crawl out of the obesity pit and up that gleaming "healthy" hill, and I celebrate those victories as if my own!

We all share a common bond - we've been through the battles and felt the impacts, together and singly. There is that unspoken acknowledgement that we know where each of us has been. We've been through the same battlegrounds, fought the same enemy. Some haven't made it. Some (like Sean) did. And the stories - good and bad - keep us motivated to continue on, to fight the good fight.

I can see Sean on the hill, smile on his face, waving the flag - and those that see him, pick up and move forward, hoping to join him there ...

We're on the way!

SDDDY9 Update:

Calories today: 1570

Water today: 16

Noticing The Small Things

2010-11-16T10:36:00.001-05:00

Oral Hygiene Day for me today, as I had my teeth cleaned this morning (routine cleaning/exam). The dentist was so surprised at my weight loss (he hasn't seen me in six months). I was a little embarrassed though, when he said, "Wow, Ann, you are really gorgeous!" Come on ... gorgeous? I'm not buying it, but I strangely felt happier writing the check today. LOL

I have a luncheon to attend today. It will be held at a restaurant that is new to me, and not likely to have many choices. I'm going to be very selective. As long as they have salad, I should be fine. These things don't bother me anymore. I'm up to the challenge, and if nothing works, I enjoy the company and eat at home (before or after). I can't afford to excuse myself this time of year. Steadfastness, my motivational word for today, speaks to that. The need to find and stick to a proper path to good health. The thing I've discovered in previous attempts, is that there is always another excuse, right around the corner. Life happens. It finally clicked that I have to change my go-to repsonses to those challenges, if I want to regain good, long-term health.

Dentist's comments aside, I have some NSVs to share today. I'm able to easily touch my fingers all the way around my left wrist now. (I've been able to do that with my right wrist for months already.) My comfy pair of gray stretchy pants have now been relegated to "house pants," because they are too big to wear in public. In fact, the only thing holding them up are my hips. (When will they finally start reducing significantly?)

I can now (barely) fit into a suit - one size smaller than I'm wearing today! I wouldn't be able to sit in it yet, but the fact I can get everything buttoned/zipped is pretty neat. Another ten pounds and I should be there comfortably. So close, so close ...

It will be fun to see what progress has been made in my size-24 jeans. This Friday is the 24-Update!

Speaking of updates:

SDDDY8 Update -

Calories today: 1713 Whoa ... over by 118 calories! So, what happened? I forgot a fruit serving until day's end, and had to decide - get some needed nutrients, or stay within bounds. I chose (this time) the nutrients. I can make up the 118 calories easily tomorrow or over the next few days. The choice was mine - and made consciously, after weighing the options and consequences.

Water today: 19

Planning For Success, Ahead of the Holidays

2010-11-15T13:46:00.000-05:00

I've been looking at goals. The longer the journey, the more important motivation becomes, and for as hard as I've worked, I've only completed 25% of my journey (so far).

My first goal was to lose 10% of me. I reached that goal. (See the Progress or Goal tabs)
This current (second) goal is to lose 30 lbs (or to reach 247 lbs), to leave the morbid obesity category.

I am halfway to reaching that goal, with just 15 more lbs to go! Allan (SDDDY Challenge originator/coordinator) says I should be able to reach that by mid-December. How awesome would that be?!!

Assuming I stick with the challenge (oh, I'm sticking with it, believe me!), I will need to set upon the path to my next goal in about a month. But, what will that next goal be? I don't want to make them so big that it takes a long time to get there. Another 30-lb goal would drop me from the (then) "Severe Obese" category into the plain old "obese" category, but that is a big chunk to lose - for the third time, as both goal 1 & 2 were 30-pounders.

I think I'll want a slightly shorter-term goal, going into the Christmas-to-New Year's Eve bridge. I need something to keep me moving forward, while being achievable and realistic.

Losing 10% would be roughly 25 lbs. Less than 30, but still more than I want to tackle outright. So, I have decided to make goal # 3 a specific weight. After reaching goal # 2, I am going to embark on goal # 3 ... 230 lbs.

That is 17 lbs. to lose for the next goal.

I looked. The last time I weighed 230 lbs was in 1990, twenty years ago!

So, I now have to think of my reward for reaching that weight of 230 - not that the health benefits alone aren't reward enough.

Goal 1 reward was the Ralph Lauren loafers
Goal 2 reward will be a Kate Spade tote bag
Goal 3 reward will be ??

Well, it isn't as big as the first goal. And it isn't as momentous as the second goal. I think I will make my Goal Three reward a single Lunt sterling silver teaspoon, in the Bel Chateau pattern. It is something lasting, and something I could use every single day - a reminder of my accomplishment, reversing a 20-year trend.

Task done! Now, I can move seemlessly from this goal onto the next one, when that time comes (hoping, of course, it will come in December)!!

Onward and downward ...

At Least We Didn't Blow Up ...

2010-11-15T09:47:00.003-05:00

Heading out to our mechanic's garage shortly. I can tell it is going to be "one of those weeks." I went into the garage this morning, and smelled fuel. I alerted my husband, who checked, and discovered a slow drip from somewhere in the fuel line of my car. It is going to be ANOTHER trip to the garage - different car, same month. A dripping fuel line cannot be ignored. I hope my hubby is right, and it will "just" be a replacement hose, but he also said I should have them replace the fuel filter at the same time. So, while he is off to work, I am using my vacation day dealing with a car issue, instead of making the house pretty for all the guests we're expecting next week. Hey, forever the optimist and always looking on the bright side, at least we didn't blow up!

Isn't it amazing, how we adapt to things? I now get the basic 8 (8 oz) glasses of water ingested by midmorning, without even thinking about it, or trying. And I actually wake up in the morning thirsty. My body is clearly getting used to being properly hydrated.

This is day seven of the Son of Double Dog Challenge - 25% through the challenge already! The body's weight loss efforts are slowing down (seemingly), but this may have nothing to do with the challenge. I've been fairly consistent in losing - with the exception of a 3-week plateau in September, so this may just be the body's readjustment period. Maybe it is adjusting to the water intake volume, or maybe this is just something my body just has to do every two months, who knows? I wish it picked a different month than Killer November, but we don't always get to choose our challenges, right? No worries - I'm sticking to the SDDDY parameters and have not deviated from the plan. I don't intend to either.

If I stick with it, I should be down at least to 251 ... or even into the 240s before Christmas! I'm looking forward to that and getting healthier by the day.

SDDDY7 Update:

Calories today, so far: 1,578

Water today, so far: 17

Day 118 ...drinking another water and getting ready to head to the mechanic's garage ... "sloshing all the way" (that could be a song)! More later ....

Day 117 - Weigh-in Results: 262 lbs.

2010-11-14T07:00:00.007-05:00

Down 1 lb. this week. All is good. Water today, so far: 1 incoming, and 17,978 outgoing (or at least it feels that way)

I should note a milestone today. I've lost 45 lbs, as of this morning, since July 20th! I am also exactly halfway to reaching my current mini-goal. Just 15 lbs to go, to leave the morbid obesity category FOREVER.

Since my December, 2009 doctor's appointment, I've lost a total of 65 lbs. Awesome! But, I'm looking forward these days, and can't wait to visit the 250s ...

My BMI is clinging to the 42s, but I'm hoping to drag it, kicking and screaming if I have to, into the 41s.

hahaha

SDDDY6 Update:

Calories today: 1,510

Water today: 18

Measurements

2010-11-13T22:45:00.000-05:00

I decided to take my measurements this morning. While the scale hasn't moved much this week, I've lost another quarter-inch from my waist! I'll take it ... still excellent forward progress.

SDDDY5 Update:

Calories today: 1580

Water today: 17

Today's Thoughts, Late Night Style (115)

2010-11-12T22:56:00.000-05:00

I've moved my official weigh-in day to Sundays for now, to accommodate the Son of Double Dog challenge schedule. Yesterday, I thought I'd get a sneak peak. I've been eating well within my calorie range, and drinking the optimal fluid amount each day, without fail.

You can imagine, I was a bit surprised to see how little the scale moved. I haven't deviated from the plan an inch this week. So, I've been trying to figure out what else could account for this scale number. My salt intake wasn't high, portions were good, etc.

Well, today I got my perimenopausal answer. Umpf.  I'm hoping the body will readjust before Sunday, or it will throw off my scale reading. In the meanwhile, I'm sticking to the plan and challenge directives.

If the loss remains small on Sunday, it'll be corrected by the following week's weigh-in. But here is the cool thing; I have not gained weight, as is usual for me. In fact, I am actually down a little (very little), but still - a loss where I would normally see pounds of weight gain. So, this challenge is working already, just days into it.

Congratulations to Kathy, who found the source of her dilemma and is now feeling much improvement (due to the vitamin D supplement)!!  Kathy, I'm so happy for you!! Check out Kathy's post, which has a website reference with more Vitamin D information. Kathy's blog is Kathy's Weight Loss Journal.

As I've stated before, deficiencies are serious things, and it is important to be sure we have proper amounts of all the vital nutrients and vitamins! I won't bore everyone with another post about it, but regular readers know my doctor found (so far) about 70% of his patients were seriously deficient - me included, much to my surprise - and I'll be on a prescribed vitamin D supplement well into January. I was taking a multivitamin each day, which contained more than the daily recommended standard dosage - plus I'm out in the sun a lot.  I really felt like I was just humoring my doctor, when he wanted to screen for Vitamin D, expecting that I would be just fine. If the dailly multivatimin and sunshine didn't do it, surely the fortified breakfast cereal and milk would ... but NO!   So, don't forget to have yourself screened for vitamin D levels, the next time you go for a blood draw. I forgot that golden rule about assuming ... lol

Tomorrow is another day and an opportunity to excel.

SDDDY4 Update:

Calories today: 1612 (17 over optimal calories, so I'm calling this on-target)

Water today: 18

Day 115 ... almost over already! Time to get ready for bed. Good-night, my fellow weight loss bloggers!

Forging a New Relationship

2010-11-11T16:42:00.001-05:00

Life tossed me a real curve-ball today, and I didn't do as well as I should've. I didn't ace this surprise test, but I'm forging a new relatinship ... cool.

I awoke, and before I could even get my first sip of beverage or bite of food, I had to hit the ground running. (Long story, probably too boring to bother relating, but unexpected and somewhat urgent matters.) Anyway, there was no time for eating and drinking ... 30-seconds from the time I was awakened, to the shampoo hitting my head ... I had a quick hop in the shower (very quick), dressed and out the door.

It has just been one of those mornings. Life tosses one of those out there every so often.

I did a poor job of eating and drinking - having nothing (ZERO) from the time I woke up until sitting down for lunch at a restaurant.

While I ate a good lunch, and downed four glasses of beverage (no wonder, I was no doubt dehydrated), it was entirely unacceptable to wait six hours to eat or drink anything. I have something I could've taken with me, if I had time, but the nature of this morning was sort of a rolling crisis - all resolved now - and I had no clue how long I was going to be unable to eat/drink.

Here is the interesting part of the day. Once home, I was able to finally start my regular water routine. Holy cow, was I thirsty, despite having four glasses of beverage with lunch! I polished off MANY glasses of water without even thinking about it. The fact that I could do that in a small amount of time, tells me how truly dehydrated I was. And I wasn't dying to use the restroom right away (another sign I went too long without hydration).

I'm back on track now, finally, but I need to be sure I don't go that long again. Live and learn, right? I avoided vending machine food - even though I was really eye-balling the Reese's PB cups, just daring them to give me any little sign of enticement. LOL Hey, my "obese" brain - aka the pimp for taste buds - says, "PB IS protein, after all ..." but my "getting healthier" brain reminded me that a lot of sugar and fat come along with that protein ride. My better judgement over-ran the lure of the chocolate/peanut butter combination. It was tough though ...

I made (all) excellent lunch choices, and probably overate ... but on VEGGIES! No worries there - no one ever was likely told to eat less vegetables.

I said I was forging a new relationship, and I am. Here is what I mean.

I noticed something else today. I had PLENTY of energy. I was forced to forego a normal morning routine, and my body was there for me. No headaches. No sleepiness. No loss of focus. I demanded a lot from it this morning, and gave it nothing in return.

Whatever I demanded of it, my body came through.

Normally, I'd have a rip-roaring headache if I went overnight and an additional 6 hours without food.

I wasn't parched either. Oh, I was thirsty, but not in any sort of dire way. This allowed me to work from one urgent situation to the next, without interruption - and to a good outcome. (Whew!!)

And I marvel at that now. I think, since I'm finally paying attention to what my body NEEDS (instead of what the brain wants), I'm treating it better. And in return, my body is there for me.

I have its back, and it has mine.

I'm asking what the entire body needs - and I'm properly fueling it, hydrating it, moving it. I'm not always perfect, but I'm trying. I am forging a new relationship - the dictatorship is gone! LOL

And, I think that is how I'm going to view this process from now on. I'm going to have my body's back.

No one else can.

SDDDY Update:

Calories today: 1343

Water today: 19

Day 114 ... I'm one of Allan's Pugs (SDDDY challenge taker), but I'm not quite at the place to include a head shot, as Allan wants. This is only due to privacy reasons - not because I'm hideous or anything. lol It is important for me to be able to journal in an open and honest way, and if (esp. certain) family members knew of it, blogging would go out the window altogether. I hate to disappoint anyone, but someday ... just not 2010. I hope everyone understands.

Allan's Pugs - Participants in the Son of Double Dog Challenge

2010-11-10T13:21:00.003-05:00

I'm calling us "Allan's Pugs" ... Charlie had his angels, and poor Allan gets stuck with us! LOL

Day 113 and I am sloshing as I walk.

Someone Noticed

2010-11-10T07:52:00.003-05:00

I guess the weight loss of the last two weeks have made a difference in my appearance, because we ran into one of our friends last night, and he just looked at me and said, "Wow!" We saw him just three weeks ago.

When you are a big person, it takes a lot of weight loss to even be noticed by others. Most people didn't see any real change during the first 30 pounds I lost, though I certainly could tell.

Now, however, I drop "just" (by comparison) six pounds, and it is being noticed! That made me feel good.

Health remains my number one reason for losing weight, but it is still nice to get the occasional compliment.

I won this award from Allan, for my efforts in the last challenge. I'll display it proudly under the appropriate tab. Allan calculated that I lost 2.6% of me, over the last two weeks.

SDDDY2 Update:

Calories today, so far: 562

Fluid today, so far: 16

Weight Loss, Water, Practicing Discretion and Thanksgiving

2010-11-09T11:04:00.001-05:00

My strategy for this upcoming (rapidly approaching) Thanksgiving holiday is pretty straight-forward. I'm going to practice discretion and take it a day at a time. How will I do this?

I will be sure I balance out my food intake as best I can. I have to plan if I decide to indulge in something (giving up something else, for the extra calorie food item I may want instead).

I am committing to NOT snacking - at least on non-vegetable items.

I'm going to enjoy everything I want at our traditional holiday feast, but I'm going to practice discretion too. No second helpings, except for vegetables.

I'm going to watch portion control.

I'm going to stay hydrated.

And I'm going to go for a walk after the big meal.

I'm going to avoid the typical holiday weight gain and still enjoy all my favorites! This is my plan for Thanksgiving, my goal, and the steps I plan to take to make this happen.

It will be important for me to maintain my motivation. In years past, this is the time I would most often quit dieting, with disasterous results. Taking a diet "break" for Thanksgiving Thursday often led to extending the "break" through New Year's Eve. So, I am taking actions now to maintain my motivation. I am putting my goals in writing (above). I may even put them on some post-it notes for my bathroom mirror, as a reminder over the holiday. I have specific steps to take to meet the goals.

Now, I need to figure out how I would handle the "what ifs" - should I deviate from this. Setbacks happen to everyone as they try to change behavior and long-established habits. That is just part of the natural process. If I don't have the "in case of emergency" plan - I'm more apt to wing it after a not-so-great decision, and I'd rather have a plan to implement in those instances. Winging it only ever leads to weight gain for me, and that is NOT happening this year. This year, I'm planning for success.

According to the SDDDY Challenge (Blog: Almost Gastric Bypass), which begins today, I am to drink a minimum of 121 oz. of fluid - given my current weight - by the time I go to bed tonight. And then I need to repeat that, each day. So, is it any wonder that today's motivational word is hydration?

Water, we've all heard, helps in the weight loss process.

I found an article online by Maia Appleby, entitled "Drinking Water and Weight Loss," that explains exactly how and why water actually (really) aids in the weight loss process. I appreciated the explanation of why we run to the bathroom so much, the first few days of drinking all we should. (And not to worry, as we KEEP UP the water intake to properly hydrate ourselves, our need to run so often to the bathroom will go away. This is known as the "breakthrough point.") Does it seem like the water is running right through me? Yes, but actually it is flushing out a lot more than I apparently realize.  It is all good news!

WebMd.com has an article on the latest findings linking weight loss to water consumption. It looks like drinking 16 oz. of water before meals can greatly affect weight loss efforts.  So, maybe I should pay a little attention to the timing of when I drink some of my water too, to better help my efforts.

SDDDY1 Update:

Calories today: 1572

Beverages today: 143 oz. (about 18 glasses, spread throughout the day)

Day 112 and feeling well-watered!

SDDDY Challenge Training Day

2010-11-08T23:27:00.000-05:00

The Son of Double Dog (Dare You) Challenge - SDDDY - begins Tuesday morning. I used today to see how my body handles the increase in fluid.

I did fine, though I feel like a spring source at this point. LOL

My calories today = 1500
My fluid intake today = 148 oz.

I did the skin hydration test. Let's just say I'm well hydrated now!

The skin hydration test, for healthy people? In general, place one hand flat on the table top. Pinch a little bit of the skin on the top of the hand. If it bounces back right away, the body's hydration should be good. If it takes a little bit for the skin fold to go back down, less good. I was surprised, at 64 oz., my skin still took a few seconds to return to proper position. 64 oz is the recommended daily minimum, but clearly, my body requires more than the minimum to be fully hydrated. This makes sense.

According to Allan (blog: Almost Gastric Bypass), the proper hydration for most healthy adults is 0.5 oz per pound of a person's weight. So, the heavier a person, the more fluid the body requires.

My skin hydration test worked perfectly around 126 oz., which is pretty close to Allan's computation, and almost double the daily recommended 64 oz.

Fascinating stuff, how our bodies work. I'm learning new stuff every single day, even at my age.

I think I'm ready for the SDDDY Challenge tomorrow. Time for a good night's sleep! I hope all the participants do well.

Ann's Favorite Fast Recipe

2010-11-08T14:30:00.001-05:00

I had several inquiries recently, about what exactly am I eating that is new or creative. That is a hard question to answer, because it varies.

I'll use an example from the creativity category, where I tried to reinvent a classic favorite to better suit my dietary plan restrictions.

I like a good taco salad, but it doesn't really do well on the low-fat side of things. So, I altered it, and kept the flavor while ditching the fat. The plus side of this is that it takes all of two minutes to make, if I'm in a rush.

Ann's Taco Salad

I take a big knife to a head (or bunch) of lettuce. Lettuce is low in calories, zero on fat, and filling. If I'm lazy or in a mega-hurry, I will sometimes even just use a bag of pre-chopped lettuce mix. If I'm hungry, I mound the bowl. If I'm not too hungry, I use less. In other words, no measuring involved here. Iceburg (for example) is a whopping 10 calories a cup or something ridiculous.

I next open a jar of my favorite healthy salsa. In my case, that would be the All Natural Tostitos Mild Chunky Salsa. It is 10 calories per 2 TB, 0 fat, 2g carbs. If you like hotter, go for the hot stuff. My mild Tostitos salsa (referenced above) has in it: tomato, onion, garlic, jalapeno peppers ... mild but well-flavored.

I will lay two "stripes" of this, spaced apart, across the top of my lettuce mound. Oh, almost always about 1/2 cup of salsa. (So, we're talking 40 calories, 8 carbs).

I next chop up some fresh onion (though not, if I'm in a big hurry). I put that aside.

Lastly, I grab a box/package of "Original Smart Ground" by Lightlife (a soy product that looks like cooked ground beef) and measure out 1/3 cup of that. A third cup has 90 calories, 0 fat, 6 carbs, and ... wait for it ... 12g of protein!

Yes, it is a power lunch.

I take 1/3 cup of the soy "meat" and about 1/3 envelope of taco seasoning mix. I combine the two well, in a little bowl, and microwave it for a minute to heat it thoroughly. Then, I make a "stripe" of that seasoned soy, across the top of the lettuce, between the two salsa stripes. I sprinkle the chopped fresh onion over the "meat" ... and call it done.

I mix the entire thing up when I sit down to eat it. No salad dressing needed with this combination of flavors and moisture. I do NOT miss the cheese (and I love cheese) with this - it has so much flavor. And the best part is that it takes just minutes.

If I have all the time in the world, and the inclination, I'll add additional veggies and herbs (tomatoes, cilantro, etc. and so forth - whatever I have a taste for).

My taco salad is very filling, flavorful, fast and high in protein while ultra-low in fat and reasonable in calories. If I make a mega-huge salad (say, four cups of iceburg lettuce), the calorie count is still usually under 200, and I've had 12+ grams of protein and zero (or near zero) fat. And I am full and satisfied when I am done eating. Soy may not be for everyone, but I tolerate it well, and disguised as it is with the taco seasoning mix of my choice, it is hard to distinguish from its more fattening cousin.

This is day 111. Too bad it isn't quite 11-11 ...haha ... and I'm having a training day for the SDDDY Challenge. I'm about 100 oz of liquid into my day so far, so I should make 126 (minimum) easily enough. I think I'm ready for tomorrow's start, as much as I can be, but oh my ... Allan wasn't joking when he said be prepared to spend some quality time in the restroom.

Tagging Allan, Karla, Katie and Sheilah

2010-11-08T11:42:00.001-05:00

The following have been tagged by me: Allan, Karla, Katie and Sheilah. Yes, I've been tagged, by Casey ( blog: Casey's 279 ), and I'm passing it along. Casey is a relatively new blogger, so check out her site and give her some encouragement on her journey!

These are the four questions I'm to answer, somewhat different than the four questions I'm asking of my tags:

1. Which season is your favorite and what do you love about it?

Autumn (though spring here in the South is a close second, for the profusion of blooms and sweetly-scented, mild air). I love the crisp air, clear skies, and colorful leaves of Autumn ... football, Thanskgivng gatherings, migrating birds ... and, as a child, I even looked forward to the start of the new school year! So many reasons that fall has always held the most appeal for me.

2. What is your favorite reading material? Mystery, romance, non-fiction, biographies...

I love a good mystery, but really I read a great variety of material. My current library book(s) are: a book on metabolism (self-help), and a murder mystery. The last purchased book was a travel book.

3. How often do you go to the grocery store?

Whenever needed, at least once a week, but more often two or three times.

4. What is the first thing you do in the morning?

Visit the restroom (um ... 40-something bladder of an overweight female ... don't we ALL do that first?) lol

I'm to pass along four questions to four others, if I understand the tag correctly. Here are my four tags:

Allan (blog: Almost Gastric Bypass)
Katie (blog: Finding The Thin Within)
Karla (blog: Daily Thoughts)
Sheilah (blog: I'm On My Way)

And their four questions (#1 will be extra hard for Karla):

1. How often do you go to the grocery store (which one/ones)?
2. What is your favorite activity, and why?
3. So far, what has been your favorite reaction, when someone notices your weight loss?
4. Within 5 hours from your house, what is your favorite destination, why, and when did you last go there?

I'm looking forward to reading their answers!

I've already polished off 2.2 L of water today, which is my training day for the fluid requirements of the SDDDY Challenge (Son of Double Dog Dare You). Not all the fluid must be from water, of course. More later, but I wanted to post the tag.

Day 110 - Weigh-in Results: 263 lbs.

2010-11-07T06:33:00.004-05:00

Did you remember to set your clocks back? I forgot. (Sigh.) I decided to move my weigh-in up a day, to better accomodate Allan (blog: Almost Gastric Bypass), so it is one lesss thing for him to do on a busy Monday morning. Here are my results, on this last official morning of the DDDY (Double Dog Dare You) two-week challenge:

Weight: 263 lbs ... down three more pounds this week!

My BMI is now in the 42s, sliding ever so much closer to the magic 39.9 (leaving morbid obesity).

The right sidebar, scrolling down, will show you my current measurements and BMI number. At the very bottom of my blog, you can see my progress tickers, both overall, and for this current mini-goal. I am just shy of the halfway point on this current mini-goal!

I've lost another inch from my waist, but the hips are slow to give up their horde. You'd think the waist and hips would shrink at the same rate. Still, no complaints from me! I'll take that 1/4" ... my hips are down 7" from last December. If I do that again, in 2011, I'll have my college weight back.

As my signature indicates, I am now just a few pounds shy of the halfway point on my "Lose 60 lbs. in one year" challenge. The blue box (right sidebar) tells you how many days remain on that challenge, still plenty of time to make it happen.

I've managed to exercise three times last week - a first, since graduating all those decades ago. I'm going to try to do that again. Consistency is important in exercise, just as it is in diet. I may not be burning mega-calories on my mile walk, but I'm strengthening muscles and my cardiovascular system, and bumping up my metabolism.

DDDY14 Update:

Calories today, so far:1168

Water today, so far: 8
Day 110 and staying focused on improved health. My doctor wants to see me again in January, to reassess how I'm doing, and to (perhaps??!!) reduce some medications! I've already been able to completely eliminate the cholesterol meds. Perhaps, after the mid-January blood draw, I can see further improvements.

Pardon Me, My Weakness Is Showing (109)

2010-11-06T23:17:00.001-04:00

No excuses, not from me. I take responsibility and ownership for my choices. Some are great, some are truly not so great, but it ultimately comes down to ME and what I choose to eat or not eat.

And sometimes, I know better, but want to do it anyway.

This evening, I ordered my all-time favorite vegetable wrap for dinner. The veggies are all grilled over hickory wood (open flame), and piled onto a whole wheat wrap, drizzled with balsamic vinegar, and rolled to perfection. The "normal" version of this amazingly tasty sandwich has some goat cheese spread inside the wrap, before the veggies go on it.

I love goat cheese. Shoot, I just love cheese - nearly all cheese.

None of this sits well on a low-fat diet, of course. It is the hardest thing for me to pass up, given that cheese is the one food I would want with me, if stranded on an island somewhere.

So, nowadays, when I treat myself to this vegetable wrap, I order it without cheese. And it is still good ...

But tonight, as I was contemplating my order, the thought that came front and cener is that no matter how good this sandwich is, it is THAT much better with the goat cheese. It just elevates that sandwich to an entirely new plain. And my mouth started watering, just thinking about it.

The waiter came to take the order, just at that very moment. I felt so weak ...

And so, I placed my order for this veggie wrap - without cheese, as usual (these days).

Oh, I came thisclose to ordering it the way God (or at least the chef) intended.  Trust me.

So, what stopped me, in my moment of weakness?

It was a combination of things that flickered across my mind.

First, if I give in to my wants, I am sacrificing my needs. I need to get healthy. Which is more important? The temporary taste of something amazing, or my health and my weight loss goal?

Second, was fear that this could be a trigger food that will ultimately lead to "one more" thinking - one more off-plan meal, one more taste of xyz, one more day of indulgence. That sort of thinking has helped launch a million diet failures. Do I really want to go there?

Third, who is in charge here? The me who knows what I need to do and how to do it, or the me who wants to stomp her foot and have what she wants, when she wants it? Time to grow up and start saying no to myself when it counts.

Fourth, I knew I'd have to face myself, and my decision, eventually. If I ordered my beloved wrap the way I love it most, would I still be happy with myself in the morning? Or would I be irritated that I followed an old familiar pattern? (Definitely irritated - yep.)   And how would I feel about that? I just don't want to disappoint myself. It is one thing to mess up accidentally, quite another entirely, to do something purposefully, which I know I shouldn't be doing. I didn't want to let myself down.

Blogland is filled with weakness postings. And I know I'll have my fair share, but (I hope) they will be truly rare and unusual occurences. I'm working like crazy to make them so anyway. Too often, those weakness posts become patterns. And, too rare are those posts that talk about overcoming weaknesses.   We all have them - temptations, weaknesses, cravings - but, in my case, I have to learn to overcome those, if I want to reach and maintain my goal. It is about training myself, retraining myself, to live my healthiest life, happily.

DDDY13 Update:

Calories today: 1,443

Water today: 8

Day 109, and working hard to overcome my weaknesses.

24-Update (108) & Poor Old Ethel

2010-11-05T07:43:00.004-04:00

It is hard to believe another two weeks have passed! Today is my biweekly attempt to squeeze into my old size-24 jeans.

Here is the link to my first attempt:

http://annssmalljourney.blogspot.com/2010/10/how-do-i-get-myself-into-these.html

The last time I tried on my old size-24 jeans, I was able to get them over my legs with ease, which was great progress! They fit well in the legs, but the hips and bum kept me from even coming close to zipping/buttoning.

The jeans were VERY tight on the hips (as in "second skin") I estimated the distance between the button and buttonhole to be about 4" at the time. Forget about zipping them up - no way. The zipper halves weren't even in the same zip code for the abs "hill" between the two.

So, what are today's attempt results, given I'm probably a good 5 lbs lighter? I've posted them below:

24-Update # 3

The jeans are still tight on the hips, but the distance between the button and buttonhole has gone down approximately one inch! The zipper is still not close to closing, but the tummy bulge has reduced enough that at least the zipper halves can see each other now, from a distance.

Since I have yet a good 3" to lose on my waist, just to button the pants, and at least that much remaining to lose on the hips, I think it is clear I have to shoot for Christmas, rather than Thanksgiving, to get into these pants. Still, I am enjoying watching the progress, and thank Sharon (again) for the suggestion. For now, I've tucked the old 24 jeans back into the drawer, for another 2 week nap ...

The above is just a progress report, but I DO have an NSV (of sorts) to share.

My neighbor's dog, who has adopted us as her own, and enthusiasticaly greets us every time she sees us, stood in her driveway and barked at me last night, as she does for complete strangers.

Both her owner and I were very surprised and perplexed. Ethel (the dog) loves me. I mean to say, aside from her owners, I'm the next favored person in her world.

Well, when I opened my mouth to ask Ethel why she was barking at ME, she turned into her usual adorable self, all excited and happy to see me. Both her owner and I were baffled by her initial barking reaction.

Well, this morning I walked down the driveway to get the paper, and Ethel was out. She didn't bark, but the old gal didn't greet me either, as she usually does. She just sort of stood at the end of her driveway and growled uncertainly, with hesitation.

When I asked my neighbor what was going on with Ethel, the dog turned back into her enthusiastic, happy self, racing over all tail-wagging and tongue.

My neighbor figured it out. Ethel has poor eyesight, and it turns out, he thinks she was having trouble recognizing my profile (the visual way she recogizes people from a little distance).

Yesterday, Ethel flat out didn't recognize me on site, across the distance of our driveways. This morning, she was uncertain. Maybe next time, Ethel will have my new, smaller tummy profile memorized! LOL Poor, old Ethel ... I love her so!

DDDY12 Update:

Calories today, so far: 1,561

Water today, so far: 11

Day 108 ... and I'm going to try to get in some walking this afternoon. If I can squeeze a half hour out of my day (what am I saying? Of course I can do that!) today's walk will be my third exercise of the week, meeting my personal goal for this week.

Take A Compass Reading

2010-11-04T16:29:00.001-04:00

Now that I am challenged to keep track of my calories, I decided to follow Patrick's lead (blog: Responsibility 199) and take a look at this week's daily nutrient composition.

What I discovered, to my surprise, is that I am doing GREAT on the low fat part of my diet, but I'm taking in too many carbs (not greatly, but enough to need correcting), and am shorting myself on protein. THAT is not good. I need to beef up my protein intake.

I'm still not the biggest fan of recording everything I eat. I'm only doing so because of the DDDY Challenge. However, I can definitely see now the benefits of doing so. While (post-challenges) I probably won't record everything, realistically, I will be sure to make the effort to do so every now and again, just to spot-check myself, and to make corrections as necessary.

Recording food intake information is like periodically taking a compass reading. You can point the ship in the direction you want to go, but you have to make periodic corrections to stay on-coarse. I can see, in the future, I need to take a compass reading, if I want to safely get to my destination.
In anticipation of the November 8th SDDDY Challenge (Son of Double Dog Dare You), and the volume of fliud that must be consumed, I rummaged around the recesses of a seldom-used kitchen cabinet and found the 2.2L (64 oz) refillable water jug today. Wow, it was bigger than I remembered it to be. The SDDDY Challenge won't be easy, but it will get me through Thanksgiving, and I can do this!

DDDY11 Update:

Calories today: 1,458

Water today: 8

Day 107 ... getting my bearings

Ten Changes For Success

2010-11-03T09:00:00.003-04:00

Someone asked me, yesterday, how I approached my weight loss effort this time. I thought that was an interesting question, and I'd be curious to know other peoples' answers.

How I approached this weight loss effort?

I took an honest look back, at what derailed me previous times, and I work hard to keep those at bay. I'm not at goal yet, so I know I have to be careful and diligent, lest I fall back into familiar traps and detours.

Here are just 10 of the things that killed my previous dieting attempts, and how I am avoiding them this time:

1. Boredom. The longest diet I've been on (ever) lasted six months, and I was doing well. I stopped, essentially, out of sheer boredom.

This time around, I am introducing new foods every week, to keep things interesting. Sometimes they are one-hit-wonders, but sometimes I incorporate them into my meal rotation. The point is, I try something new - whether hit or miss - at least one time during the week.

2. Ignorance. We enjoy eating out, but on previous diets, I'd do a LOT of assuming, to my detriment. Restaurants don't prepare things as we do at home.  They make their items taste good by using lots of not-so-diet-friendly ingredients.

This time around, I ask how a meal is prepared. What you don't know (ignorance) CAN hurt you.  I ask for adjustments to make the item fit into my diet plan. Most good restaurants are happy to accommodate such reasonable requests. I always tip extra too, for their kind efforts.   Plus, they get my repeat business. I also know, if I stall, the first place I look are the restaurant foods I consume. Something may (easily) slip in there that I have not accounted for (or realized). When I lose less per week, it is almost always a week I had an extra meal out somewhere ...

3. Lack of Balance.   In previous diets, just as in all diets really, an occasional meal would be higher in (calories or fat or carbs, etc.). And this would lead to a repeat of another "slightly" higher meal. A very subtle pattern would emerge, and suddenly I'd find myself stalled, or even gaining a bit, and wondering what happened. I was still on a diet!

This time around, I've added balance. If I end up eating a meal that is slightly more carbs or calories or fat than is ideal - the very next meals (plural) must counter-balance that. Sometimes, I really hate that. But, I hate not losing weight more - or giving back the progress I've worked so hard on. So, I buckle down and balance the day as best as I can.

4. Lack of Commitment. I am an expert at committing to any diet for a week or two. Beyond that ... um ... not so much so. It was hard, frankly, to see the wall of weight I had to lose, and how LONG it would take. After a few weeks, I'd usually start sliding back to my old ways.

This time around, I've committed to a minimum of 30 day increments, which is enough time to actually make something a habit. Coincidence? Nope. Plus, to support my "willpower" (or lack thereof), I've set various goals at varying increments of time, to keep me propelling forward. Saying I have 124 lbs left to lose is daunting. Saying, "10 more" is much easier and within reach. I do not look at the big number. I stay focused on what is immediately in front of me.

5. Priorities. All my previous diets were something I fit into my life, and worked around everything else.

This time around, my health is front and center. It has to be, because I no longer have youth on my side, protecting me despite myself. So, life is something that now works around my diet. I'm still active and participate in all sorts of things, but I've made my diet foremost. Well, aside from God (church), Who always comes first.

6. Clean Plate Club. Yes, I was a dedicated Clean Plate Club member. It was practically the mantra of my parents, when we were growing up.

This time around, I finally grew up.  Kids are picky eaters (I was the worst), and parents say what they must to get nutrients into their scrawny, growing children. Dah. I didn't even think about that. I just thought how frugal my parents were (and what young parents aren't?) ... and thought "don't waste food." I carried that right into adulthood. Now? As I said, I grew up. I take home at least half of most restaurant meals. I avoid buffets entirely. I make smaller amounts of food at home, and limit my portions. No seconds, except for vegetables. And ... the biggest change of all ... when I'm full, I stop eating - EVEN if food remains on my plate! I guess that means I have to return my CPC membership card, and I'm good with that.

7. Labels? We don't read no stinkin' labels! The box cover said it was better, right? If it sounded healthy (light, low or free), I'd buy it.

This time around, I read labels. And wow, even there you have to be careful. The healthy-sounding stuff isn't always so healthy after all. "Light," or "Lite" ... should read LIE. Oh, it may be lighter than the "full on" version of whatever, but it is far from light. Reading labels is essential.

8. Tunnel Vision. Previously, all my attention was on that all-important scale number. And when the focus is so intense on that one aspect of dieting, everything else takes a back seat.

This time around, I became more educated.   SO many factors influence the scale, even hour-to-hour, that this is not even an accurate indicator of health. I've put the scale into proper perspective. The scale, like the blood pressure cuff, give a snapshot of general condition - nothing more. And it can certainly help me make adjustments to improve things, but I am no longer a slave to the scale. It serves ME now, I don't serve it. I still love to see that number go down, but my feelings and moods aren't centered around what it says. I weigh myself every week (more, when I am thisclose to a goal), but just to get an indication of where I am, so I know how I need to adjust things in the upcoming week.

9. Laziness. I can plan a fabulous vacation down to the smallest detail, but plan a week of meals?  It just wasn't my cup of tea. So, I didn't bother. I may love food, but I'm lazy about it. (One of the reasons I frequented fast food places.) This, of course, led to last minute less-than-healthy meal choices, or off-plan snacking, or worse ... cravings! Cravings? Yep. I'd start to think about what I could eat, not what I should eat. You know where that thinking leads ...

This time around, I know better. I'm still not a big meal planner, but I am an excellent plan-deviation-avoider. I keep carrots and celery in the refrigerator at all times. If I'm caught "unprepared," I know I can always munch on a healthy on-plan veggie.  No more opening the refrigerator looking for "something" (anything). I also keep other on-plan, appropriate foods that are convenient to grab or whip up.  So, on those days when my laziness is bumped up a notch, I can still have easy foods and remain perfectly on plan. I keep NOTHING in the house which is off plan. If it is in my refrigerator or pantry, I can eat it.

The most important change, though, is this last one, # 10:

10.  Self-Talk. I am the biggest cheerleader for most things, but my self-talk on previous diet attemtps wasn't particularly uplifting or inspiring. It went something like this:   I can't have this. I can't eat that. I have to give up xyz. I'm hungry. And, the most important ... when is the next meal, and what will I have? I was completely absorbed by food. If I wasn't eating, I was thinking about eating. Obession is a good way to put it. And my self-talk not only centered around FOOD, but around the sacrifices and deprivation aspects of the diet.

This time around, I'll have none of that. Who wants to live that way? The cup is half-full, not half-empty! It isn't about what I cannot have, but about how I can make my choices healthier. I look at all the options available to me. This took work initially, but eventually, this way of thinking became habit.

I focus now on how I feel, how my clothes fit, how my energy level has increased. I look at my diet a bit more detached. If I focus on it at all, I come at it from a fuel viewpoint.  (Did I get enough viatmins and fiber today? Am I staying properly hydrated? How is my protein level?) I still want stuff that tastes good to me, but it now has to have another purpose as well - fueling the body, helping it to become better.

This is so key to how this diet attempt differs from all previous ones, that I am convinced keeping my mind focused properly will be the reason this will be my last weight loss journey. I've practiced this so much, it has now become second nature to me.  I (literally) no longer think in terms of what I must give up on the diet. Does that mean I don't miss certain things? No, but it does mean I put it all in proper perspective - finally.

There are other aspects that have killed previous diet attempts, and which I have corrected, but these are most of the big ones. I wonder what other people have improved upon, from their previous diet attempts, to help make this one their best and last needed effort.

DDDY10 Update:

Calories today: 1,625 (over by 30 calories ... OOPS! Shouldn't have had that last apple.)

Water today: 9+

Day 106 ... and looking forward to the SDDDY Challenge (Son of Double Dog Dare You), just five days away!

Talkin' Turkey

2010-11-02T07:48:00.003-04:00

Happy Election Day, Fellow Dieters!

I'm going to try to get in a little exercise (walk) after I vote. It is a cool, crisp day today. It would be a shame to waste all that sunshine, cool air, and pretty foliage - so off to the park I'll go, afterwards, for a quick 1-mile lap.

Congratulations to Jo (blog: Weight On Me at 50+), who has dropped into NORMAL weight range! Maybe I'll be able to join her there next year. I'm sure going to give it a try. Be sure to stop by and wish her congratulations! Jo has revised her goal somewhat, and will continue her journey a little while longer, before entering the golden maintenance mode.

This is the 9th day of the DDDY Challenge. Allan (blog: Almost Gastric Bypass) alluded to two additional follow-up challenges, so for anyone who missed out on this one (which ends Sunday night), be sure to sign up for the next! Allan will be signing up participants later this week/end. I am looking forward to seeing what he has up his sleeve for this next challenge, because it will take us to Thanksgiving. The timing (for me) is perfect. Thanksgiving is the holiday I am most likely to deviate from my plan, so I'm going to work hard to NOT let that happen!

In years (diets) past, it was Thanksgiving that usually derailed me, and then I'd think "oh well" and pretty much take a "food vacation" (as Clyde* put it) through the end of the year. And I remember really packing on the pounds in November and December - undoing a LOT of the hard, well-earned progress I had made. I am NOT going to let that happen this time. My mindset is different going into this, but I'm still weary enough to seek out methods to help me help myself. This is why I plan to sign up for Allan's next challenge, the follow up to the Double Dog Dare You (DDDY) challenge.

Hey, in other words, I'm not going to let the Turkeys get me down! LOL Gobble, gobble is something a turkey says, and should not be something I do.

DDDY9 Update:

Calories today, so far: 1,545

Water today, so far: 9

*Clyde's blog is The Clydesdale Project

Day 104 - Weigh-in Results: 266 lbs.

2010-11-01T08:53:00.006-04:00

This morning's weigh-in puts me squarely at 266 lbs., or 3 lbs lost this past week, which represents a 14% drop in body mass since I started this diet. Yes, I am officially 41 lbs. lighter on this November 1st than I was in July.

My BMI has slipped under 43 and I am so happy for that! Just three more points and I will no longer be classified as morbidly obese. I can't wait! Gee, less than 20 lbs to go to be there ...

Helpful things this past week: minimum water intake of 64 oz per day, and walking (good old-fashioned walking). My goal for this week will be to get in three days of exercise (of any sort), for 30 minutes each. My HDL number should be higher (ideally), and exercise controls that number. The LDL is controlled by diet, of course.

DDDY8 Update:

Calories today, so far: 1,565

Water today, so far: 9

And, yes, I made it through Halloween without a bite of chocolate, or ANY candy. That may well be a first in my memory.

Day 104 and happy H'ween is behind me ... onto a new month, new challenges, new goals ...

ADDENDUM: The three-pound loss brings me to 25 lbs lost in the 60-lbs-in-one-year challenge, or about 41% toward that challenge goal. The blue box (upper right) tells you how many days are left in the challenge, and my signature tells my current status in that challenge. Today, it reads -25 of -60 ... Yay!!

Updated Measurements

2010-10-31T15:48:00.000-04:00

I won't have a formal weigh-in until Monday morning, but I went ahead and updated my measurements this afternoon. How much can they really change, overnight?

I've lost a little off my neck, waist, and ... HIPS! I'm most excited about the hips. They need to come down, down, down, if I want to fit into those next smaller pants.

Plus, with all the walking I'm doing, I expect that NEXT week, the waist will show more loss. I did a lot of walking over the weekend, which should really show by next week's measurements.

Will I break below 43, for my BMI?! Tomorrow will tell all ...

I'm happy with the measurements this week, so I'm anticipating a good weigh-in.

Onward and downward ...

Find Strength

2010-10-31T11:02:00.002-04:00

Today is Halloween, every sugar addict's dream - or worst nightmare. I love sweet things. I'm having no candy this year, of course, but I sure look (and inhale, as I pass the bins of candy at the grocery store). Is it my imagination, or is candy getting CHEAPER this year? I see a lot of 2-for sales. It figures, the year I decide to get healthier ...

I suppose, whether the test is big or small, we have to persevere and just say NO. Dieting may be simple, but it sure isn't easy!

Well, this happens to be the halfway point in Allan's DDDY Challenge. How am I doing? Great! No matter what the scale will say, I've made water intake a habit (already). It wasn't as hard as I'd imagined, so I will walk away with that benefit, if no other. Another check in the dieting "pros" column! That side is growing, as I move along this journey. The "con" side seems pretty pathetic (now). I look over my pro/con list when I feel my motivation lagging (which isn't too often, thankfully).

It is important for dieters to find strength where they can, to keep old habits at bay. I use all types of tools to help keep my motivation going - my fellow dieters' blogs help a great deal and are part of that arsenal. I want to maintain my fortitude!

I managed to get a small tear in my left bicep muscle. I can use the arm, but not extend it without great discomfort/pain, so I'll have to pamper it this week. Another injury, another learning experience. I'm more limited by my out-of-shape condition than I realized, so I need to be more careful. Still, the injury doesn't stop my ability to walk - and that is my exercise today (later this afternoon).

A lot of DDDY challengers are weighing in today. I'll do my weigh-in tomorrow (Monday) morning. That gives me a full week of results, and an accurate halfway point measurement. It is just my personal preference.

DDDY 7 Update:

Calories, so far: 1,300

Water glasses, so far: 11

Day 103 and finding strength in lots of little ways ...

Losing Weight Is Bringing Me Down ...

2010-10-30T14:00:00.002-04:00

Losing weight is bringing me down ...

in size!

And it is creating more work for me.

I had an interesting experience getting dressed today. I suddenly have so many more things in my closet from which to choose.

And, I've come to the realization that I am going to have to take on a project this upcoming week. I need to go through my closet, try on clothes, and do some rearranging. I need to donate the stuff that is too large for me now, and I need to take inventory of what is now available to me.

This is no small task.

I was never a "clothes horse" but as I went up in size, I didn't do a LOT of weeding (though some). I think the last time I went through things was about six years ago. Yep, some of the items in my closet haven't been worn in 5-6 years. (Crazy ...)

I'm comfortably in size 26 jeans now, and the 28s I bought in early September are pretty baggy. They are almost to the point I can't wear them - almost. So, the lesson there is when I next buy jeans, only buy two or three, because I may only get two months use out of them. I am NOT complaining about that - at all - but it wasn't very far-sighted of me to buy seven, when I feel I barely had a chance to wear them. It is a waste of money for me, but I know it will help someone shopping Goodwill next month. (It isn't easy to find fashionable large clothing.)

I don't look forward to the extra work, and it is so time-consuming, but I can't keep reaching for stuff, only to find I look like a hobo in them, all baggy. Hey, it may work for Halloween weekend, but definitely not afterwards.

Here is a fun NSV for me today ...

My husband has been eating the same things I have been (for dinner), only in slightly higher volume. And today, he fit into jeans he hasn't worn in years! I'm so happy for him!!

DDDY6 Updates:

Calories today, so far: 1,473

Glasses of water today, so far: 8

Day 102 and looking forward ...

If You See This, STOP ME

2010-10-29T10:03:00.002-04:00

My motivational word today is confidence.

I know that may seem an odd motivational word, but I think, too often, people go into things with a great deal of trepidation, rather than with confidence. I believe, in order to be successful in my weight loss journey, I need to be confident that I can do this - to encourage myself and motivate myself.

Let's face it, a dieter's greatest enemy is always him/herself.

I have to have confidence that I can make my goal weight.
I have to have confidence that if I make a mistake, I can shake it off and continue on.
I have to have confidence that THIS time won't be like past attempts, quitting is not an option!

This journey, this goal, is entirely up to me. If I start doubting myself and my ability, no one else can just take over for me.

I have to be my own leader, my personal driving force, my self-assured navigator - if I want to get to my goal weight. All the best wishes and hopes of others can't make it happen.

We ALL have bad days, and the lick-our-wounds sort of posts (myself included), but I've noticed a few make whining routine, and their blogs are often a string of posts, peppered with excuses, rationalizations and justifications.

Leaders don't do that. Well, successful leaders don't do that ...

And, in dieting, we are (all) our own leaders!

So, if you see me posting a string of excuses or a string of laments over this or that - STOP ME. That is not the sort of leader I want to follow, and it is a future forecast of failure! Confidence gets results, trepidation gets failure. And that is why my motivational word for today is confidence!

I WILL reach my goal weight.

DDDY calories, so far: 1,345

DDDY water, so far (of 8): 11

Day 101, and feeling positively confident! (How about you?)

Doing The Math, Allan-Style ? My Head Hurts ...

2010-10-28T17:59:00.000-04:00

Allan (blog: Almost Gastric Bypass), creator of the DDDY Challenge, is a big fan of dietary math.

That's because it works.

So, I started thinking this afternoon (channeling Allan?!) ...

I am currently 269 lbs. Using Allan's math, that means I have to consume 2,959 calories per day to maintain this lovely physique. (269 x 11 = 2959).

If my goal weight is 145 lbs, my daily caloric intake needs to be 1,595 calories (145 x 11 = 1595).

And, in fact, that 1,595 daily intake is what I aim for in the DDDY Challenge. (Allan is challenging us to eat as if we are at goal weight, and it will eventually get us there!)

So, back to thinking ... how long will it take me to get there, if I continue eating like a 145 lb woman?

Let's see. 2959 - 1595 = 1364 daily caloric deficit. Well, if 3,500 calories = l lb., I should be able to calculate this, right?

3,500 / 1,364 (the deficit) is roughly 2.5, so if I stay on this challenge, beyond its two-week length, I can expect to lose 2.5 lbs per week. I think I did that correctly.

My current weight (269) less my ideal weight (145) means I have 124 lbs yet to lose. If I take 124, divided by 2.5 lbs/week = roughly 50 weeks.

Hey, I can be at goal in LESS than a year?!! I must have done something wrong, because that means by mid-October, 2011, I'd be at goal weight. Wow, that just can't be right! Right there is my incentive to stick to goal calories, if ever there was one (assuming my math is correct, and maybe it isn't).

100 Days, 100 Ways

2010-10-28T09:03:00.006-04:00

I awoke this morning to day 100 of my diet journey! I decided to shake things up a little bit, and do a "reverse day." I'm eating my biggest meal at breakfast, and will eat lighter meals as the day progresses. So, in a manner of speaking, it is a sort of celebration involving food, but instead of eating unhealthy things, I'm just doing a reverse day.

Rather than bore everyone with every morsel I eat during the course of any given day, I'm just going to post my DDDY calories/water at the bottom of my daily post. I'll update the figures as the day goes on, or by day's end.

Now that I am super-fueled for my 100th day, I decided I'd post in this journal the 100 ways I have benefitted from eating healthier, in no particular order.

1. I weigh nearly 60 lbs less than I did last December.
2. I have more energy.
3. I can bend/twist more easily.
4. My clothes fit better.
5. My cholesterol numbers now rock!
6. My blood sugar levels have plummeted.
7. NO MORE CHOLESTEROL MEDICATION!
8. My jawline has reemerged.
9. My cheekbones are no longer hidden.
10. Blog buddies!!
11. I sleep better.
12. There is plenty of room between my tummy and the steering wheel.
13. My doctor didn't lecture me on this last visit and, in fact, was stunned.
14. I no longer "evaluate" whether I can fit into restaurant booths. I no longer fear them.
15. I've learned to love vegetables!
16. Regular bowel movements.
17. My joints don't ache nearly as much as they used to.
18. I breathe more easily when exerting myself.
19. Hey, I actually exert myself!
20. My neck is shrinking, so necklaces and turtlenecks fit better.
21. I am stronger.
22. There is a good inch between my thighs and the arms of my office chair.
23. My ring is comfortable, no longer in danger of cutting off my circulation.
24. I get to wear clothes from the recesses of my closet that I haven't worn in years.
25. New bras!
26. Increased stamina.
27. The seat belt is no longer a torture device.
28. I find myself doing more, missing out less.
29. The dental chair suddenly seems much more comfortable.
30. The compiments!
31. My ankles and feet no longer swell.
32. Bracelets and my wristwatch actually fit now.
33. Mini-goal awards. (i.e., My Ralph Lauren Zoe Loafers)
34. My kneecaps have reemerged!! I love this one!
35. It is so much easier to shave now.
36. I can finally tie my shoes easily.
37. I can give myself a pedicure.
38. My shoulders have shape again!
39. I have a waist now.
40. I take stairs more easily.
41. No more back roll.
42. I feel much more rested.
43. Improved concentration.
44. I no longer obsess over food.
45. My skin tone has actually improved.
46. My gait is no longer "waddle" ...
47. I can stand for longer periods of time without my legs complaining.
48. And I can semi-cross my legs now!
49. It is easier to get up out of a chair.
50. And I don't worry about sitting in those outdoor folding chairs anymore.
51. New (smaller) clothes.
52. I make smarter restaurant choices because I want to!!
53. I've learned to appreciate water's benefits.
54. My refrigerator looks much more colorful inside.
55. I can finally buy a mini-trampoline, 'cuz I'm within weight tolerances.
56. I can put both armrests down at the movie theatre, and the seat is roomy.
57. Regular public bathroom stalls have suddenly become larger. (odd)
58. My extra chins are disappearing.
59. Less of my legs are rubbing together when I walk.
60. I've rediscovered my ankles! (So long, Kankles ...)
61. And my calves are taking shape again.
62. I can pick up something I drop, without figuring how to negotiate that now.
63. My favorite chair no longer creaks when I sit in it.
64. I am not as physically uncomfortable.
65. I love the look of surprise, on the faces of people who haven't seen me in a while.
66. My vision has improved.
67. My hands no longer look pudgy.
68. I've already added years back to my life!
69. No more trunk ledge.
70. My husband's arms fit all the way around me now, when he hugs me!
71. My fav jacket can now be buttoned, for the 1st time in 10 years.
72. I get to go winter coat shopping, because my current one no longer fits me.
73. If anything, my morning chipper is chippier (much to my husband's dismay).
74. Bath towels fit around me again.
75. I can reach things on higher shelves than I used to (weird, I know)
76. Getting in and out of the car is so much easier.
77. And I no longer dread those tiny bucket seats we sometimes get in car rentals.
78. New swimsuit!
79. No more back aches.
80. Better bladder control.
81. I'm doing a LOT more cooking at home - I've rediscovered my fondness for it.
82. Stronger self-esteem (not that mine was ever lacking ... lol)
83. Bigger range of motion in my limbs.
84. I'm saving money (smaller clothes cost less, as does eating home more often).
85. I can sit on the floor now & get up without aid, helpful during Christmas festivities.
86. I can squeeze into the tiny backseat in my BIL's van, so the kids are thrilled at least.
87. I rarely get headaches anymore.
88. If an emergency came up, I could fit into a regular-sized wheelchair now.
89. My husband & I can now squeeze past each other, at the narrow part of the furniture placement.
90. I'm apparently driving a female relative insane with jealousy & I'm okay with that particular one.
91. Improved balance.
92. Increased cardiovascular health
93. I'm taken much more seriously now. (This is good, but also irritating ...)
94. I'm thrilled to see my old hourglass figure starting to return!
95. Improved service (I get a LOT more attention now, so I'm not invisible anymore)
96. I fit into a standard PFD again, when we go out boating.
97. I don't have to sit inside, when outdoor cafes use those little white plastic chairs.
98. No more button pull-gaps in my blouses.
99. Improved reflexes.
100. So many more options and opportunities are open to me now. My weight is not as limiting.

DDDY 4 (Updated throughout the day/evening):

Calories: 1550
Water (of 8): 10.5

Paying Attention

2010-10-27T17:30:00.000-04:00

Every so often, during the 99 days I've been dieting now, I will notice something out of the blue. Today, was one of those days.

I slipped on a very familiar (comfortable) shirt, and jeans, and noticed immediately that the shirt is falling differently. It even feels a little different. I couldn't put my finger on it, but the thought flicked across my mind, before moving on to other things.

Then, as I walked down my driveway this afternoon, I noticed an ease in my movement. It was so different, I actually tried to figure out what has changed. Instead of the feeling like I was dragging myself along, I had ... power? I don't know, but I felt more propelled, and less like I was pulling myself along. It is hard to describe, but it is different than I've felt in a really, really long time.

So, of course, when I get home again, I make a rare appearance in front of the full length mirror inside the closet door. Sure enough ...

The shirt IS hanging differently. It is free swinging, not hugging the tummy on the way down. I'm guessing I lost another quarter- or half-inch off the waist or something, though I won't know for sure until I take a tape measure to it on Monday. The tummy is still there, but the shirt isn't hitting it anymore (cascading as it does, off the twins).

Something else I noticed ... more energy today. I've been eating lots of vegetable and minestrone (fancy vegetable) soups this week, to be sure to get in lots of nutrients, since I have had to temporarily disontinue my daily multi-vitamin. I'm wondering if that change has created the energy, or if I crossed some invisible line in my weight loss that led to finding lost reserves. Maybe this is a result of my improved blood chemistry. I guess time will tell. Anyway, I'm paying attention to the cues my body gives me.

Day 99 (already!!) and really feeling the benefits today, of a healthier lifestyle ...

Misc. & DDDY 3 (99)

2010-10-27T15:39:00.003-04:00

Got in a short walk this morning. Hoping to do more later today, but the rain is back ... no complaints - we need the rain!

I'm going to try to look up the restaurant's nutritional information for various dishes, before heading to the dinner tonight. I like to be armed with information, so I can make intelligent (and the best) choices.

DDDY 3 (for day 3) calories, so far ...

Breakfast:

Oat bran muffin 373 calories

Lunch:

2 bowls leftover Minestrone soup 200 calories

Diet Pepsi 0 calorie

Snack: Large banana 135 calories

Dinner:

Bean burrito, modified (w/lettuce & tomato) 350 calories
Mexican Rice 270 calories
Tortilla chips w/FF salsa 150 calories

Total calories today: 1,478

Total water today (of 8): 8

Today, Tomorrow, and Yesterday -- (98)

2010-10-26T23:08:00.000-04:00

Today ended up being a real soupy day - weather-wise AND food-wise. The soups today were mostly vegetable, not so much broth, so I'm getting great nutrition and volume. I was quite satisfied with today's meals.

I'm going to have another Thomas' bagel thin in the morning - Allan's FAVORITE. lol I am also going to try Margene's "Knox Box" recipe sometime this week, probably on Friday. It sure looks colorful, and looks perfect for snacking too. I wonder what flavor combinations are the best ...

We're going out with friends tomorrow night, and trying out a new restaurant. I'm not sure what to expect, but it is good to throw myself into these situations - excellent practice. I'm not too worried, because what restaurant doesn't serve salad? I will tuck a bottle of my fat-free balsamic dressing into the glove compartment though - in case they don't have dressings I could eat on my plan.

A funny thing happened to me today. I dropped my shopping list on the floor, and retrieved it with no hesitation, before I even realized it. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but I used to dread dropping anything. LOL Now, no big deal ...

Yesterday, no walking. Today, I only managed about 15 minutes before the weather hit. Tomorrow is another day.

Just a quick comment in general, to a specific question I was asked today ...

I know some folks have a problem with blunt, because blunt can often come across as rude or arrogant. I was asked, specifically, for my position about someone's "bluntness" ...

Let me say this, we'd still be enjoying some major entertaining talents today, if they had more blunt people and fewer "yes" men in their inner circles.

It feels good to be told what we want/hope to hear. I get it. I really do.

But, as long as blunt is truthful and coming from a helpful place, I have no problem with blunt. I may not always like the message, but I'd be a fool to turn my back on truth, no matter how it is packaged, when it comes to my health. I also recognize sometimes it takes someone a little removed, to see something I may be missing, because I'm just too close to it.

That said, does any one person ever know it all? Hardly. So, I've learned over the years, to not take everything so personally, and let go of the junk, while holding onto the valuable bits. Do you know what I mean? And, if someone really doesn't "get it" and I decide not to waste any more of my time, I simply move on. Life is just too short ... I'm happy to say, most of the bloggers I've run across are real keepers though! What an awesome bunch! And the blunt person is a keeper, by the way.

SO, don't worry - be happy! (They should write a song about that ...)

Day 98 (??!!) and feeling delightfully full ...