Day 170: Freedom

We are officially a full week into 2011 today!  Blink, and February will be here.

I am 16 lbs. from the midway point in my journey, as of my last weigh-in.


Wow, I had to sit back and absorb that for a minute.

When I started my blog (July 20th), I was looking at the need to lose 162 lbs. I had to lose more than I would ideally weigh some day. It is not a small number.

And yet, almost without realizing it, I've peeled back the years. The last time I was 240-something was circa 1993. That was 18 YEARS ago. And these last six months have just flown by. I feel as if I barely just started a short while ago.

Perspective is a funny thing, isn't it?

I'm enjoying the 240s much more on the way down, than I ever did on the way up. I'd almost forgotten what I was able to do back then. One of the sad side affects of morbid obesity is the slow giving-up of lots of little things - the ability to bend down to tie my shoes, to easily sit in any booth, or being able to just comfortably maneuver in a regular bathroom stall. I slowly adjusted to not having these abilities, and am now enjoying the freedom I've regained.

I'm appreciating it more the second time around. I take nothing for granted. I am becoming ... free.

I shouldn't squander my new-found freedom either.  Clyde is relishing his, looking forward to his first marathon on the 23rd.  How is that measured exactly?  In joy, of course!  The freedom to run ...

Awesome.

When we are confined, by our own weight, we forget what movement feels like. We do less and less of it, as the scale moves up. And, once we give it up, regaining it isn't easy. It is work. I've started walking (barely, but it is a start). I'd almost forgotten how good it can feel, with the sunshine on my face and the fresh air filling my lungs. I don't look down when I walk, though I probably should. Instead, I look skyward, out in the distance.

I am starting to recognize once-familiar treasures, unappreciated at the time, long lost to me, but beginning to return:  having a little extra energy to expend, taking a few stairs - two at a time - walking from my car across the parking lot at the grocery store, with a little spring in my step - energy. I'd almost forgotten.

It isn't that I was feeling particularly lacking in energy, but now that I've regained some, I realize I forgot just how much energy I used to have. 

Make sense?

I won't be so willing to give it up again.  I take nothing for granted, not anymore.