Thursday, September 2, 2010

Day 43 - Paying Attention

Just an observation:

One of the things I've learned, over these last 43 days, is to truly pay attention to what my body is telling me. I've been eating to plan, with no real deviation off of that this past week, and yet I am noticing today that I am sluggish.

My energy level is not as high today. And, in fact, I feel "puffy" (and no, it isn't THAT). Perhaps, the super-burn of the last 6 weeks is starting to slow, as is expected at some point. I can't quite put my finger on it though. My weigh-in this week was good. I suppose next week's will tell the story, but something has definitely shifted from yesterday to today. I'm going to watch to see if this is a trend, or just a blip for today. Well, maybe it is trying to tell me there is a big weather change coming. There IS a hurricane heading toward the coastline.

Anyway, it is funny, how much more in tune I am with how my body is feeling. I never really paid it much attention before.

I have been doing a lot of reading, and came across a little tidbit about how cinnamon is supposed to have properties that help lower blood sugar. Interesting. I didn't know that. So, I will be sure to add ground cinnamon to my oatmeal tomorrow, just in case it is true! I like cinnamon anyway, so I really don't need much of an excuse. I just never think of it.

I enjoy running across little dietary "tips" like that. If anyone has one to share, be sure to post it in comments!

No real words of wisdom or insights to share today, except to say I had a wake-up reminder today to be much more cautious in choosing my post commentary on other blogs.

I think I upset a once good "blog friend" by complete accident, because something was read into my (apparently) poorly chosen wording.

I keep forgetting, none of us truly know each other. If we did, no one would ever read anything negative into what I say. If I have nothing constructive, helpful or kind to say to someone's blog, I don't comment at all.

And, on the flip side, I need to be more mindful that everyone of us has some sort of insecurity, and it is easy for all of us to read something with that insecurity as a filter.

Anyway, I think I need to shut up for a while. I'll lurk and read the blogs as usual (I love them!!) but I probably won't be posting much this week/end.

It is disheartening to think I hurt someone, whom I admired. If I've offended anyone else, my sincere apologies.


  1. Ann, Ann, Ann....
    I have inadvertently offended someone sooo much that I would have given anything (anything) to take it back. To make it right.
    I think now, that we are all imperfectly struggling with weight-loss issues, and life issues.... and death....
    We try to blog, and create, reach out.... it is an imperfect process in a crazy world. Very unstable. Virtual reality, at that! So we'll never really know what another person is really going through.

    I read that if it's not Love, it must be fear, regardless of the form it takes. So be kind to yourself, and go back to that loving, happy place.
    And don't be tempted to dwell on the shadows of the past!
    It will eat you up alive, girl!
    (Pep-talk over!)
    Onward and downward!

  2. PS on your sidebar:
    Photobucket has a montage feature.
    For the side by side comparisons.
    Or do a screen shot.
    Or if you like, send them to me,
    and I will put them side by side
    and teach you how I did it!

  3. Thanks, Anne, for the pep talk, AND for the much-needed help with the photo stuff. I am definitely going to take you up on your offer of help. I am blog-illiterate and technologically challenged on some levels. Okay, on most levels. LOL Anyway, I would really love to get a comparison photo up, as much for me as for others. I think we (all) see more in photos than we do in a mirror, if you know what I mean. That can be a good thing, sometimes. :P

  4. What Anne said, but nicer and with more empathy... LOL, I crack my self up.. By the way, I piss off so many every day, it has become something I have learned to at least expect. Fun stuff...Smile, be yourself, and f$##$ck the people that don't get it..

  5. I only know how to be myself, so not much choice there, Allan. Oh, I'm kicking myself right now, but I'll get beyond it. In the meanwhile, I'm just looking at kicking myself as another form of exercise. I was humbled today, and that isn't a bad thing.

  6. Shhh, about the cinnamon. It is one of the secret ingredient in the rub I make for my ribs.

  7. REALLY? I would never in a million years think cinnamon with rib rubs (and here I sit, in BBQ-expert-central here in NC). I want to be invited to your house for a rib cookout. When does your winter up there in Illinois end - June? July? haha Well, your cinnamon ingredient is secret with me ... I won't tell anyone. Shhhhhhhh.

  8. Hello Ann,
    I have very recently started following the blog of the person I think you're referring to, and I saw your comment. You know what? When I read what you wrote, my first thought was: 'what a supportive friend'. I can see why it was taken a bit to heart by the recipient, and I could see they felt defensive and I understand that. However, I admired you sticking your neck out and immediately wanted you on MY side. Because personally I like feeling that others are taking notice, taking account if you will, even though when it comes down to it I am only accountable to myself. It was clear that your post came from a place of caring -even though, if I'm being totally honest, it was slightly hard hitting :). You want to help your friend realise HER goals and ambitions. We all get a little stuck sometimes, can't see the woods for the trees, and need someone to push us and prod us and take stock of what we're ACTUALLY doing versus what we SHOULD be doing if we want to achieve X. Your comment prompted the recipient to respond with a very interesting post that, for me, highlighted the importance of getting your head on board before your body. Anyway, don't beat yourself up about it!

  9. Thanks, Roaring. I truly appreciate your kind words! You made me feel better. Yes, I re-read my original post, after reading her surprising response. I could see how she read it (after the fact). I hope she read my follow-up and understood it was an innocent misinterpretation (and, as I've said, poorly written on my part). I'm more irriated with myself for even momentarily making her feel upset, and so defensive, to be honest. With friends like me, who needs enemies, hey? I'm being funny, but I did beat myself up over it initially. I'm better now. I don't know that I can say the same for my poor victim though, and for that I apologized. I hope she excepts it, but regardless, I'm a bit reluctant to jump back on and comment again there (for now). I think I'll be following her progress and cheering her on silently for a while. It is a lesson learned. I'm going to check out your blog, but I promise to be gentle in my comments! :D

  10. Hey Ann...I have no idea what you're referring to, but I want to go on record and totally give you permission to kick my butt when I need it!

    You seem like a very caring person, and if your choice of words was a little off-base, an apology should suffice.

    Your reaction to this whole thing totally demonstrates your good intentions and your don't beat yourself up! :-)

  11. Allan was right...he says stuff that pisses people off everyday. He's a bastard* (and I told him that today)!

    You are much nicer than him, so take some peace in that. :)

    * But Allan knows that I like him very much and he pretty much just speaks from an enormously caring heart! JK, Allan.

  12. Karyn, that was a very sweet thing to say. I know my intentions were good, but that doesn't take away the pain I caused someone. I just need to slow down and be more thoughtful. Still, it was very kind of you to recognize my true heart. Thanks for reassuring me! Clyde - I think you and I have Allan figured out. He DOES have a kind heart, but his straight-from-the-hip, tell-it-like-it-is approach can hurt delicate personalities. I think he'd understand and appreciate your comment to him. LOL In fact, I imagine, to that, Allan would simply say to you, "BITE ME" ... in true Allan fashion! He cracks me up. I THOUGHT I had a nicer, more gentle approach, but part of being humbled today was to realize I need more improvement than I realized. I'm really not beating myself up anymore, just explaining. And thanks for saying I'm a hair nicer than Allan. (I think.) LOL Just teasing ... thanks for the pat on the back. I'm still in awe over your 3.1 mile success! Your neighbor might be more handsome (as he tells it), but I bet you have more stamina. Way to go!

  13. Ann! Can't imagine anything but kindness coming from you---but, if it happened, don't sweat it. I am sure they will come around. Cinnamon is also yummy in spaghetti sauce. Another spice I love is turmeric---it has anti-inflammatory properties. Found in alot of Indian dishes (love Indian myself!)/ curries.

  14. Ann...I know I'm very new to your blog, but you've been so kind to me everytime you've posted on my blog. And if ever the day comes that I need someone willing to be honest and speak the truth...I hope you'll feel comfortable doing just that. I myself am a nice person, but I'm also an honest person...sometimes to a fault. I don't like tickling peoples ears. If your comment was from the heart and was not meant to hurt her, then you should feel good about that. And even though it was taken the wrong way (which does happen) you did the right thing to apologize. You're such a sweet and wonderful person, and I for one am so glad to have found your wonderful blog.


  15. Thanks, Aliana! Cinnamon in spaghetti sauce? Wow ... another surprise for me. I don't use much turmeric. I didn't know it has anti-inflammatory properties. What do you use that in, if you don't mind sharing? I'm interested in trying that out! Kimberlynn, thank you too, for your kind, kind reassurances. You are right, of course. I did the right thing to apologize. I consider it a lesson learned. I didn't really intend for this to turn into an Ann Support Group Meeting or anything, but I DO appreciate everyone's kindnesses! And I'm glad you found my blog too, Kimberlynn, because I've "met" you and now have the fun of visiting your blog too!! I just mostly wanted to get the message out that if I've inadvertently offended anyone else with my commentary of their blogs, it was not intentional and for that I apologize. If I wasn't clear with one person, I could well have offended others too, only they may not have commented. I am thankful, actually, that my victim commented the way she did (and oh so gently, I might add), because it made me more self-aware. Well, with that, I think we can close this entry out. Tomorrow is just around the corner, and a new day is a new start. Hugs to ALL of you for your spontaneous support and reassurances! But for those of you who know, don't forget to reach out to my blog friend too, to offer your support for her wonderful efforts. She deserves it, she has been working so hard. xxox

  16. It's all in the delivery :)
    As you may know I am in the opposite boat right now.

    It's one thing to offer constructive criticism, but it's another to just say things to hurt someones feelings. In my opinion, people can be harsh unintentional... but some people are just a** holes lol. YOU do not strike me as one :)

    You did the right thing trying to make it understood you didn't mean to hurt your fellow blogger's feelings. Hopefully all is well now :)
    You are a sweat heart!

  17. Ann, just keep send the comments my way. I'm tough and sometimes I need a kick in the ass. I won't speak for anyone else.

  18. I'm thinking a new rule would be in order. First, like the BOOBS, or whatever the Banditos are calling themselves, we bond together in weight loss unity. As members of this group we are allowed to say whatever the F#$#ck we please to each other without anyone in the group taking it to heart as being mean. If you are secure in yourself, and can handle constructive criticism, you should be able to take anything thrown at you. As an example, Clyde, no need to even go there with an email advance apology. Never explain, your friends do not need it and your enemies won't believe you anyway. I accept all forms of telling me that I am an ass. No problem at all. In return, I just might comment about something I find funny with your plan or just whatever is irking me. If you have friends that know where your heart is, you can tell them anything. The best example is Christine over at Phoenix Revolution. Great person, full of help, knowledge and a diet queen. Put seriously, if one more person tells her that they like her Buffalo hairdo's I will scream. Eating light, go to her. Hair styles, not so much... There ya go..

  19. Hi Ann,

    Since I'm the "recipient" of this little drama, I think I'll jump on board this discussion train.

    First, don't feel bad for being yourself. Your reached out with good intentions.

    Second, when I first started this blogging thing (only a year ago), I put my foot in my mouth a few times. It's easy to forget that with written communication, we don't have access to tone of voice, or body language. Maybe if I had had benefit of that from you, I would have correctly interpreted your caring mood.

    Thirdly, I was defensive, you are right. I'm sorry. I reacted to that fact that you "seemed" to be taking on the job of analyzing and diagnosing me, without knowing my story. I said "seemed", because that was MY reaction.

    In your description of the event in this post, you put it all on my interpretation, my filter, my insecurities. Yep, there was sure some of that floating around. We all have our days! And I own my part.

    I like upbeat people. I like people that find humor in life, in spite of hard times. I like people determined to overcome and reach a goal. If we met in real life, I suspect we would become friends. I think we are both probably opinionated, and might butt heads now and again, but we would also probably end up better friends for it.

    Your victim?? Not at all. Don't even think that way. I like how you look for the good in something... like you said now you are more "self-aware". I do that too. See, we are more alike than different!

    By the way, I would have done ALL this privately in email, but I couldn't find an email listed for you. I never would have wanted to cause you to feel bad publicly, or embarrass you or cause a drama, that people felt they had to take sides on. There are enough daytime soaps for that.

    I truly wish you success on your own journey to health and weight loss. Please accept MY apologies for causing you upset, okay?