Another Day Closer to Christmas (145)

Yes, I weighed myself this morning, as I will daily until I reach my mini-goal.  And, yes, I am still morbidly obese, for at least another day.  (sigh)  And yes, I know I'm obsessing, but I've been looking forward to not being morbidly obese so much, you have no idea.

Under the "My Progress" tab (top of page), you will find the BMI chart for me.  When I reach 247 pounds (my mini-goal), I will officially be classified at "Severely Obese" (a category that, for me, covers 217 lbs to 247 lbs).  That means my BMI will have dropped below 40.0, the minimum threshhold for morbid obesity classification. 

Severe obesity is classified as a BMI of 35 - 39.9.  Still a long way to go, but making progress.

I'm reading a lot in Blogland about the duldrums.  People are feeling discouraged or bored out there.  We ALL go through those cycles.  It isn't fun, is it?  And the temptations out there, this time of year in particular, make it so much harder to stick to individual plans. 

A new year, and fresh start, may be just around the corner, but remember too, that it will take extra time to undo whatever is done to the diet over these next few weeks.  I am keeping that in mind, as we attend parties and social gatherings this season.

I think the DDD challenge series came along at exactly the right time, and I'm thankful for that, because this time of year has often killed my diet attempts before.  I would get back on the ball in January, kicking myself.  And those cookies and rich yummy things I enjoyed eating over the holidays?  Not even a strong memory by January 10th, but the pounds remained behind as evidence of yet another year of overindulgence.  I'm determined to not let that happen this year. 

My other duldrum period usually hit in early spring (March/April).  That has always been the other diet gaunlet for me.  In that case, it wasn't the holiday food of the Thanksgiving-Christmas season, but rather, boredom.  The "fresh start" mentality wanes by then, but I'm still too far from summer to feel the urgency of doing something. 

I'm aware of those vulnerable spots in the calendar for me, and so I am actively seeking out extra motivations (as in this case, the DDD challenge series) to help motivate me through my own doldrums.  I'm not sure what I'll do by March/April, but I will do SOMETHING.  I get motivation from all sorts of sources, as I've often said before.  I'm not waiting until I start feeling the old familiar "diet ho-hum" ... I'm always looking for the next thing to propel me forward.  I'm fighting myself, in essence.  Honestly, some days it feels like I'm trying to entertain a 2 year old.  Do you know what their attention span is like?  LOL  It is a full-time job these days, to stick with it.  And this diet journey, for me, is more mental.  I'm my own worst enemy.

I've decided to give myself a year - 2011, essentially.  One year, out of all these many years, I am dedicating to me, and this diet, in order to get to a healthier place.  So, now, I think to myself, "it is only one year out of my life."  Sometimes, I think "it is only one day" or "it is only one meal" (yes, it occasionally gets that tight). 

I had an unbelievable loss of weight this last weigh-in.  Those are numbers I normally see when I first start a diet (like the very first week).  I KNOW this is not sustainable.  But, it shows me that mixing it up, tightening my diet, applying a little more discipline than I have been, actually works.  So, I'm going to keep this experience in the back of my mind.  When the body slows, I need to change it up, keep it guessing, keep the body on its toes.  That is, apparently, how my body works.  I'm learning ... and that is what diets are, a learning process.

Self-analysis is important, but only if it leads to proactive changes - actions.  Knowing what I should do, but not doing it, gets me nowhere.  There are plenty of very nice people out there, who are full of amazing insights and revelations, but who don't actually do anything with that information, except talk about it.  Or worse, rationalize and come up with all sorts of excuses - some even pretty good ones - for why they aren't doing something.  Heck, I'VE done that in diets past, so I recognize it right away when I see it, often when the blogger doesn't even realize it (yet).  Keep in mind, most of us blog as a form of journaling.  We do it for ourselves.  I am supposed to learn something from this process.  So ratinalizing and excusing is just, to me, simply lying to myself.  How can I improve, if I can't be honest with myself, right?   It is one thing to try and fail, it is another to merely talk the talk, and risk nothing. So, when one thing doesn't work, I look for the whys, and try to do something about it.

I don't want to end up with a few years of journal blog entries, looking back and seeing the same exact struggles, repeated over and over again.  I realize it takes time, often, for a lesson to sink in, but I also want to know I attempted corrections (at minimu, that I at least tried and failed).  So, to my friends, please don't hesitate to kindly call me on something, if you see a pattern I need to do something about, but haven't.  I really need to replace old bad habits with new patterns and healthier habits.

I'm giving myself a year, dedicated to my health.  I don't want to revisit this territory (morbid obesity) ever, ever, again.   

The new water requirements for The Spawn challenge have been emailed, and it looks like mine stays the same.  I am spending the morning at the hospital (hubby is having eye surgery this morning), so I will start the major portion of hydration this afternoon, rather than knock out a few liters this morning, as is my habit.  No problem.   

12 Days of Salads

This is a fantastic summertime salad, light and refreshing!  Easy to prepare.  Even easier to eat!  As with all recipes, play with this to meet your specific taste.

Day 4:

Classic Watermelon Salad

1 lb. seedless watermelon, peeled and diced into 1-inch cubes (roughly)
6 oz. feta cheese, diced smaller
1 lb. arugula, approximate
mint and parsley, chopped

1 TB seasame seeds, heated (dry) first, until aromatic
6 TB olive oil
1 TB water
1 tsp pomegranate syrup (opt)
1.5 TB lemon juice
1/2 tsp. superfine sugar
salt & pepper

Toss together the watermelon and feta, with arugula and herbs.

Separately, combine all remaining ingredients, except sesame seeds, using salt and pepper last to season dressing to taste.  Drizzle over the salad, and arrange salad on plates.  Lastly, sprinkle with the sesame seeds (use black seeds, rather than white, for a wonderful visual affect against the watermelon).    For a slightly healthier version:

Replace the feta cheese with a medium, diced red onion.  And dress the salad, instead, with some unseasoned rice vinegar and freshly ground pepper.

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Day 145, and thanks for all your inspiration and assistance on this weight loss journey.  Blogland has made a difference to me, and I appreciate every single one of you.  God bless ...