Okay, I look ridiculous, but I'm happy as heck!
That size 24 jeans has been hanging in the back of my closet, taunting me, for YEARS and years. And today, I decided to try them on.
The good news, I got them on.
The bad news, I can't wear them anywhere - yet - unless I don't mind going out with them completely unbottoned, unzipped, and my panties substituting for jean material across my abs. Not the look I'm going for, exactly.
I can only move around the house in a weird little half shuffle, because I have no movement in my legs (never mind feeling in my legs), and sitting is out of the question.
That's right, the jeans are like a second skin over my legs, and are wide open on top, by necessity.
On the plus side, I got them over my thighs this time. Progress!
SO, I am actually enjoying them a few minutes, in the privacy of my own home, standing/shuffling - and now I'm thinking how in the world am I going to be able to peel these off?! I know part of the formula will require me to collapse on the bed, but I have to be able to bend to peel these off. I don't think I thought this all the way through ...
However, I did ascertain that I need them hemmed about 1" - so if I manage to get these off without the help of my husband or EMS, I will take them to the alterations place and have them hemmed. All, of course, in anticipation of one day actually being able to wear them like a normal human being! I'm thinking another 19 lbs maybe ... okay, maybe 22-23 lbs.
Now, I'm thinking I better shuffle to the bedroom. I may have to go use the restroom, so I need to be proactive and start the process of peeling these off, somehow. Wish me luck!
I don't know how I'd explain this to my husband, if he were to come home this evening, to find me laying face up in the bed, with these melded to me, wet ...
Remember the old "I Love Lucy" episodes? I'm living my own version of "I Love Ann" ... geez ...