Thursday, October 7, 2010

How Do I Get Myself Into These Situations?

Okay, I look ridiculous, but I'm happy as heck!

That size 24 jeans has been hanging in the back of my closet, taunting me, for YEARS and years. And today, I decided to try them on.

The good news, I got them on.

The bad news, I can't wear them anywhere - yet - unless I don't mind going out with them completely unbottoned, unzipped, and my panties substituting for jean material across my abs. Not the look I'm going for, exactly.

I can only move around the house in a weird little half shuffle, because I have no movement in my legs (never mind feeling in my legs), and sitting is out of the question.

That's right, the jeans are like a second skin over my legs, and are wide open on top, by necessity.

On the plus side, I got them over my thighs this time. Progress!

SO, I am actually enjoying them a few minutes, in the privacy of my own home, standing/shuffling - and now I'm thinking how in the world am I going to be able to peel these off?! I know part of the formula will require me to collapse on the bed, but I have to be able to bend to peel these off. I don't think I thought this all the way through ...

However, I did ascertain that I need them hemmed about 1" - so if I manage to get these off without the help of my husband or EMS, I will take them to the alterations place and have them hemmed. All, of course, in anticipation of one day actually being able to wear them like a normal human being! I'm thinking another 19 lbs maybe ... okay, maybe 22-23 lbs.

Now, I'm thinking I better shuffle to the bedroom. I may have to go use the restroom, so I need to be proactive and start the process of peeling these off, somehow. Wish me luck!

I don't know how I'd explain this to my husband, if he were to come home this evening, to find me laying face up in the bed, with these melded to me, wet ...

Remember the old "I Love Lucy" episodes? I'm living my own version of "I Love Ann" ... geez ...


  1. Hahahaha! You are too cute! This put a smile on my face. :) You're a good storyteller. Those jeans will be baggy in no time! I used to put on the too-tight jeans every so often, too, and now some are too big! Shirts that used to be too tight are too loose. You are doing awesome, Ann! I love your attitude.

  2. LOL! Oh the visual! I can't wait until you post that you look terrible in these pants because they are so loose you can't keep them up. Hahahaha! I will be waiting for that post. Seriously!


  3. LOL Well, I am happy to report I managed to peel the jean off, but ONLY because they were 1" too long.

    I literally could not bend, and after flopping around on the bed like a fish out of water, I finally rolled off into a standing position (a feat all by itself).

    I'm exhausted by that point, but now I really have to use the restroom.

    I finally realize I can step on the bottom of one leg (1" too long in fabric) and kind of do this gyrating "Elaine Benas" dance move to wiggle first one leg, then the other, down enough to BEND. Then, I could re-flop on the bed and work at peeling those babies off.

    Whew! I made it in time, and now I don't have a lot of explaining to do to my husband. What a way to spend an afternoon off. Sheesh! LOL

    I have to have a sense of humor.

    I'm looking forward to having those particular jeans BAGGY, but for now, I'd settle for being able to zip them up. Optimist that I am, I'm going to take them to the alterations place for hemming. So, I need to be sure I don't try them on again too soon, because without that extra fabric at the bottom of each leg, I'd be in big trouble. LOL

  4. Ann, I loved this story, but I strongly encourage you to do this...I did it starting with a pair jeans that fit about like yours did today. As painful (and funny) as it is, put those jeans on EVERY week around the same time if possible. The feeling you have as you WATCH those jeans start to fit is indescribable. When I was losing my 65 pounds, the weekly ritual with the jeans was as important to me as the number on the scale!!

  5. Funny - hehe!
    I use clothes as my "weight" or scales,as well.....
    It shows up in sizes first, and that's where it counts most!

  6. HI Ann,
    I am new to your blog and will stop by to cheer you on. We both started blogging this summer. Congratulations on your weight loss so far!! Michele at

  7. Ok you are amazingly humorous, and that was funny, not because I am mean, but because I have so been there lmao!! my god, I was picturing myself in that situation, only trying them on realizing for the first time my pants dont fit, hah glorious, I will have to remember this sense of humor, and try the weekly jean fit, might help me for motivation!

    Mrs. Crumpet